Pseudo Munchausen parents...

[wooh]

Anybody have a patient's parent that seems to be living off the attention they get from having a sick child? Not a Munchausen by Proxy parent that actually hurts their child so that they can get attention for having a sick child. But that has a chronic kid and just loves the attention that they (the parent) gets for having a sick child?

I've had a few of these lately, and they are just so draining on me mentally. I get family-centered care, but that should still be the family centered around the PATIENT, and these parents want it centered around the parent instead.

I'm drained and would love to hear if anyone has tips on dealing with these kind of parents or anyone that can at least commiserate with the annoyance that is dealing with a family where the parent has a bigger need for attention to them than need for getting their child attention.

[monkeybug]

Define, please? Tell us more about that.

I second this. Please share!

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

Some of these scenarios sound like fragile child syndrome.

I thought fragile child syndrome was where the patents emotionally neglecting the pt when there was anticipatory grieving...in turn, the child acts out in order to elicit an emotional response.

I've been trying to Google this, but nothing really comes up...please share!

[mmc51264, BSN, MSN, RN]

I don't have anything about fragile child syndrome, but... When I worked in LTC, we had children of elderly parents who acted similarly. Liked the attention THEY got b/c parent is sick

[schooldistrictnurse]

My understanding of fragile child is parents who have legitimately been through a trauma or severe illness with a child and then can't "let go" and exaggerate every symptom and overprotect the child.

[meanmaryjean, DNP, RN]

It's called narcissism kids - and it finds a captive audience in the world of pediatrics. I see it all the time in the PICU.

[schooldistrictnurse]

I can't find any documentation on the entity I named either, but I clearly do remember a pediatrician using that term to describe the parents of a student. Whatever we call it, I think many of us can say we've seen this kind of behavior.

[meanmaryjean, DNP, RN]

My understanding of fragile child is parents who have legitimately been through a trauma or severe illness with a child and then can't "let go" and exaggerate every symptom and overprotect the child.

This intersects with PTSD, no?

[ktwlpn, LPN]

I don't have anything about fragile child syndrome, but... When I worked in LTC, we had children of elderly parents who acted similarly. Liked the attention THEY got b/c parent is sick

And they will suck the LIFE right out of you.I realize that the loss of a parent is a life changing event but I think that by the time you are in your 40's (and Mom and Dad are pushing 70 or beyond) the fact that your parents are mortal has at least crossed your mind. One would also hope that your coping skills have matured as you have. Nothing freezes my heart more then " You don't understand,he is all I have" "She is my last surviving family " That type of statement makes it clear that the resident is going to suffer for a very LONG time.

[Jenni811, RN]

I don't work with children in nursing but i know people like this. I feel like it is usually the parents who are incredibly overbearing on their children. They are with them 24/7 and THRIVE on adult interaction. So its like their child is sick, there is another adult who is showing they care and taking care of them. On top of that giving the parents some attention they are craving. They thrive on adult interaction and someone they can hold a conversation with. Something to talk about other than crayons and poop.

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

My understanding of fragile child is parents who have legitimately been through a trauma or severe illness with a child and then can't "let go" and exaggerate every symptom and overprotect the child.

^OK...that does sound like what my pedi clients' mom has.

I think we may see it more than we can identify it at times...especially in FTT, which the client had in my post...He's at 75th percentile...tall, heck, I tripped over his foot once lol. He is no longer FTT physically, he is doing well emotionally, but in some aspects he is not, and I truly believe it is because of his mother's unwillingness to focus on that her child is thriving and allow him to have the freedom to do that. *SIGH*

[hiddencatRN, BSN, RN]

We see something similar in the ER a lot, because many parents bring kids in for minor things convinced that it's dire. Sometimes they get pretty nasty about us doing "nothing" for the child or the long wait for their super sick kid. These parents mostly just seem dumb and ineffectual. Sorry to be blunt. Oh, your kid puked once? Most children survive a puking and go on to lead normal lives.

I've had less experience with sick kids whose parents seem to really enjoy the attention from the illness though, which I think has to do with the type of units I've worked on. Do you get a lot of chronically ill and super sick kids? As far as how to deal, my favorite way of dealing with all patient related frustrations: tell stories with your coworkers. Seriously, this helps me decompress, adds some humor to the situation, lets me bond with my coworkers. And then you just keep on keeping on, you know? Maybe a change of unit if it starts to get to be too much to keep things fresh.

[CDEWannaBe]

Some people are drama seekers and like having craziness in their lives. Or as I affectionately call them "drama llama ding dongs."

If the parent can't be reasoned with or educated, then stop trying and instead be honest and encouraging with the child. At some point he/she will grow up and it may help them not buy into the drama.