Pseudo Munchausen parents...

Specialties Pediatric

Published

Anybody have a patient's parent that seems to be living off the attention they get from having a sick child? Not a Munchausen by Proxy parent that actually hurts their child so that they can get attention for having a sick child. But that has a chronic kid and just loves the attention that they (the parent) gets for having a sick child?

I've had a few of these lately, and they are just so draining on me mentally. I get family-centered care, but that should still be the family centered around the PATIENT, and these parents want it centered around the parent instead.

I'm drained and would love to hear if anyone has tips on dealing with these kind of parents or anyone that can at least commiserate with the annoyance that is dealing with a family where the parent has a bigger need for attention to them than need for getting their child attention.

Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

These are parents that are over reactive after a catastrophic event has occurred to their child. They can't let go of their anxiety and over react to all thing that interact with their child. I have also seen this in parents that have had terrible experiences with infertility, miscarriage and IVF so that with the infant and child they are basket cases with any injury or illness.

These children tend to be timid and fragile....fearful of common things.

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Or as I affectionately call them "drama llama ding dongs."

This is EXACTLY it!

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.
Some people are drama seekers and like having craziness in their lives. Or as I affectionately call them "drama llama ding dongs."

If the parent can't be reasoned with or educated, then stop trying and instead be honest and encouraging with the child. At some point he/she will grow up and it may help them not buy into the drama.

LOL @ "drama llama ding dongs"!

I have bypassed parents by being a strong advocate towards the pt; I remain reality-based at all times; for medically fragile kids, I find myself more empowering the pt; assisting the parent realize the "normalcy" part, especially development...most of the time, parents are receptive, most of the time, the children, regardless of the parent, the child is more receptive, which matters to me.

I am sure when we think of our parents in hindsight, we may have reflected on the things that they have done and have dealt with them in our healthy way-at least I have.

My current job in the PICU is really good on the interdisciplinary part from the nurses and the doctors in getting CM and or psych involved ASAP if there are issues; my frustration is more towards my previous job; which I currently do per-diem. They have a "hands-off approach" in dealing with this situation, especially where the mother is purposefully hindering normal development. That concerns me from a team approach standpoint. The team I work with really do our best; we have learned to focus on the pt and communicate with each other, which is helpful.

The sad thing is that the mom was really active in helping with milestones, etc; then about almost 1 yr ago, she started making claims that he was getting sicker, and not growing, which was not the case...it was sudden, I think that is what surprised us the most.

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Specializes in PICU.

What does everyone this of the ----'s journey Facebook pages? Sometime I feel like some of this parents are just thriving on number of 'likes' they are getting. I have encountered several recently.

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Specializes in Pediatric Pulmonology and Allergy.
What does everyone this of the ----'s journey Facebook pages? Sometime I feel like some of this parents are just thriving on number of 'likes' they are getting. I have encountered several recently.

I can't speak for every facebook page, but as a parent of a child with special needs (and intermittent blogger) I think that many parents really just need a vehicle to share updates about their child as well as to sort through the implications of what it means to have a special needs child. It can be a very socially isolating experience, and if getting "likes" on facebook is what gives them the strength and encouragement they need to carry on, more power to them. Not my style personally but I respect whatever works for them.

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Specializes in Pedi.
What does everyone this of the ----'s journey Facebook pages? Sometime I feel like some of this parents are just thriving on number of 'likes' they are getting. I have encountered several recently.

Some people don't want to have to email/call 10,000 people every time their kid is in the hospital or something. I think sites like caringbridge or CarePages are better than having a facebook page but I can see how people feel the need to share things. I think the facebook thing is less ok when the child is a teenager and may not want every detail of their illness broadcast to the world. What bothers me on facebook is when other parents make statuses/posts about other people's children... say Mom A posts "Janie has just been admitted and needs to have emergent surgery" and then Moms B, C, D, E and F are all posting 'Urgent prayers needed for Janie who had A, B, C, D, E, F, G things happen to her today and is going in for emergent surgery." Mom A was posting to share with her circle, not for everyone within six degrees of her to find out. Also when a child dies... it really bothers me to see parents whose kid has a similar or the same illness announcing the death of another child with their facebook status. And I see this fairly often.

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Yes these are popping up everywhere and I can see both sides of it. I do know a family who has a private group. Private groups are invitation only not "likes" and this child's parents said they did this because they didn't want everyone out there to know his name, hospital, condition etc. The pages can be liked and seen by anyone, private groups cannot and having seen both I do think some parents (but not all) do enjoy getting sympathies from strangers about their sick child, but you can usually tell which ones pretty quickly.

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Private facebook pages for friends and family to get updates? Make sense. When it's used as a fundraising and attention seeking device that the parent seems to care more about the page than actually taking care of the kid? Ergh....

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I was filling in at an after-hours pedi clinic and took care of a baby that the mother complained that no one could figure out what was wrong with her child.

He had a rare, non-productive cough, no nasal congestion or discharge, and his chest sounds were text-book perfect.

He had been seen by seven different doctors before coming to us.

Mom was 16 and the baby was 8 weeks old. She was the MOM and she KNEW that something was wrong. The doctor had her change formula and come back in 10 days. When she came back she was so glad that the doctor had listened to her, (unlike all those others who had not idea what they were doing) Her baby ". . . was cured!

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I have a private duty patient, his Mom seems so excited and interested in his care. She has made his care into her entire life. She organizes all of his medical supplies, EVERYDAY she cleans stuff that doesn't need to be cleaned everyday, she is not OCD more like obsessed. She really goes above and beyond for him but she has no other life. His medical care is the only thing she talks about. She puts mic-key buttons in all of his stuffed animals.

When she mentions that she is stressed out or something I say "This must be so difficult for you." or some sort of therapeutic communication.

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.
I have a private duty patient, his Mom seems so excited and interested in his care. She has made his care into her entire life. She organizes all of his medical supplies, EVERYDAY she cleans stuff that doesn't need to be cleaned everyday, she is not OCD more like obsessed. She really goes above and beyond for him but she has no other life. His medical care is the only thing she talks about. She puts mic-key buttons in all of his stuffed animals.

When she mentions that she is stressed out or something I say "This must be so difficult for you." or some sort of therapeutic communication.

^Sounds like she may be headed towards the pseudo-muchausen side...Hope she is open to resources like parent support groups or an outlet when the child grows older and his quality of life can be maximized, her fixation may hinder those efforts.

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Specializes in Acute Care Pediatrics.

We get these all the time... and there have been cases where I actually wonder if it's for real munchausen's. I call these parents "MunchY" and will often refer to them as such in report.:yes: I think the previous poster nailed it on the head when you she said you have to deal with your reality. I refuse to engage with the munchy aspects and simply care for the child. I mean, I will nod and smile but then I get on with what needs to be done for the patient. I mean, obviously they are ill if they are with me.... you know?

I see it most often in my parents of my chronic children. I have several I feel like enjoy being at the hospital more than at home, and will take photos and post on facebook blow by blow details of their hospital stay as if they were on vacation. Odd bunch, these munchy parents.

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