"I don't know how you do it"

Specialties Pediatric

Published

This has to be the most common comment I get when I tell people that I am a pediatric nurse and that my primary population is pediatric oncology.

Yesterday I went hiking with a group of people I'd never met before, so naturally I got this from every person. One of these people was a social worker in the substance abuse field... I'd say the same thing back to him. I'll take kids with cancer over drunk adults any day.

That comment really bugs me, because it sounds like they consider themselves to be just too sensitive and caring which makes us . . . what? Not so much?

Nah, just a lot stronger. Sick kids is the one area I don't think I would ever even want to try. It's more of a statement made in awe that you could go in there every day and see and feel the heartbreak for these kids and not let it break you, because we don't think that we could be that strong. Everybody has their area like that.

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That comment is a normal comment from anyone who doesn't work in the career choice. I bow down to NICU nurses and don't think I could ever do that. I did L&D and ER at a small rural hospital and I have to say I was thrilled when the Flight NICU nurses showed up to take our critical babies to a larger hospital with a real NICU. And I was happy the flight nurses/paramedics showed up in the ER too.

I've always thought when people said that, they were complementing the person they said it to and not saying they THEMSELVES were too sensitive and caring to do that job.

I work hospice now and get those comments and I completely understand. We are dealing with people who are dying. Our patients don't get well but we do help them live the rest of their lives in peace and without pain. It is a privilege and honor to be allowed into their homes at such a private and difficult time.

But it IS hard sometimes. As all of our jobs are at times. I seriously would just take those comments as compliments.

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Specializes in ICU.

People say that to me when they ask what area of nursing I want to go in to. I really want to go into pediatric oncology. We have a big children's hospital where I live and that is my goal. Helping children through their most difficult time is something I want to do. I want to make a difference in their lives and I think that is a good thing.

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Specializes in Psych ICU, addictions.
This has to be the most common comment I get when I tell people that I am a pediatric nurse and that my primary population is pediatric oncology.

Yesterday I went hiking with a group of people I'd never met before, so naturally I got this from every person. One of these people was a social worker in the substance abuse field... I'd say the same thing back to him. I'll take kids with cancer over drunk adults any day.

I'll take the drunk adults. I can't work in peds...it gets to me too much. I can manage child/adolescent psych but that's the extent of it. I have tremendous respect for those of you who can do this.

Semi-related note: I hear the same thing whenever people find out I work in psych.

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Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.

I always tell people that the GREAT thing about working with kids (I'm a PICU nurse) is that they, unlike many, many adult populations do NOT take any enjoyment from the 'sick role' and all they want is to get outta Dodge.

I've had kids on day one post-open heart standing up in their crib shaking the rails 'cause they want out- whereas with many adults, you have to just about call the cops to get them out of bed.

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Specializes in Pedi.
I always tell people that the GREAT thing about working with kids (I'm a PICU nurse) is that they, unlike many, many adult populations do NOT take any enjoyment from the 'sick role' and all they want is to get outta Dodge.

I've had kids on day one post-open heart standing up in their crib shaking the rails 'cause they want out- whereas with many adults, you have to just about call the cops to get them out of bed.

You know, I thought that today when I went to go see a 12 month old who just got out of the hospital after developing bacteremia and a septic knee. Though he still won't crawl or bare weight on that leg (he had 2 surgeries), he was smiling, laughing, sitting on the floor, throwing a ball. I have oncology kids who go horse back riding an hour after I give them chemotherapy. I've seen adults with WAY less who won't get out of bed for days on end. Heck, most of my co-workers say their husbands won't move if they have a cold.

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Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.

To those who expressed concern and their thoughts about my post...

Let me clarify the point. No, not everyone who says those words is implying anything. Much is lost when we try to communicate in text while missing voice inflection, body language.etc. In this case I'd say that can be applied to both my previous comment and some of the comments made to me over the years about the work I do. Overall, the feedback I get is positive and even strengthening.

Thank you guys for reminding me to seek the more favorable motives because if any of you said it, it would be a compliment. Worked 12 hrs last night but I'm feeling pretty good!

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
I don't think it's meant like that at all. Personally, I don't think I'm mentally and emotionally strong enough to work with terminally ill children. It's not that I think I care more, because that isn't the case. I work in long-term care and people have said to me, "I don't know how you do it." I think we all have our comfort zones; our niche; our calling, and can't imagine ourselves working in an unfamiliar, uncomfortable setting.

You can count me in, on both situations. I'd never be able to handle seriously ill children and I bless the nurses who can do it. By contrast, I get a lot of people who can't understand why I stick with geriatrics, while I've never been really happy outside of it. That's why nursing can be such a great career, there's something for just about everyone. :)

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Specializes in Psych.

My mom is a LTC nurse, I always tell her I could never do her job. I work in psych, she always tells me she couldnt do my job. That is one reason nursing is awesome. We get to find where we fit in versus conforming to fit a standard.

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Specializes in Pediatrics, High-Risk L&D, Antepartum, L.

You hear it in nursing and parenting and other jobs. It's an odd comment. I've had people say it to me about my work. I've had people say to me as a parent. I don't even know what it means anymore....seems like just something to say.

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

As a ER nurse who has also worked trauma/PICU......it was "easier" in some ways before I had kids and harder in other ways.

I always admired the nurses who had kids who just "KNEW" who the popular TV character was or the latest kiddie theme song so they "connected" to their little patients with ease....I always seemed to struggle with that. while caring for children was heartbreaking at times...I didn't REALLY KNOW how that mother felt....I do now and if I let it get to me...it makes it hard to breath.

Then when I had kids it was tough not personalizing ...if this was my child...so I didn't go there. It did help to go home and bend over their sleeping little faces and breathe their baby breath that somehow healed my heart.

It did give me a unique perspective for my babies.....I appreciated the little things....even the frustrations....because I was so lucky to have them and they were healthy.

I frustrate my kids with my....I saw that once....stories, and I admit I hover a bit too much at times (God Bless my husband) more now than ever that they have started to drive (as I watch them back out of the driveway :eek:). I appreciate the little things and choose my battles.

But I answer to the...I don't know how you do that...question that we all have special gifts and talents...that when you find your gift and you can get paid for it....life is good.

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I told MY oncologist that I worked in a peds CICU and he just looked at me and said "oh that's so sad".

I dunno man, you're the oncologist pumping likely futile chemicals into 80 year olds whose bodies aren't meant to handle that sort of abuse anymore and will probably die anyways, only a longer and more painful death; whereas 90% of my kiddos get their hearts fixed and go on to enjoy the rest of their lives. Which is sadder? The suffering elderly in my opinion.

btw I'm 26 and if this oncology related problem of mine comes back when I'm 80 I will flat out refuse the surgeries and the treatments and take it as my time to go.

Anyways I will take my kiddos over adults ANY day. The rare times we get adults on our unit (because the congenital cardiacs stick to the peds units) they are so whiny and needy, I can't handle it! (I am also much more aware of myself as a patient and try to always be on my best behavior haha)

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