Bizzare

Specialties Ob/Gyn

Published

Just when you think you have seen it all...........spent my evening with a laboring patient who had 3 male " significant others " coaching her, peering into her separated labia while she was pushing to see what color the baby's hair was. You guessed it........she didn't know which of them was the father. Her mother was there and everyone seemed to think this was normal. Please don't jump on me for being judgemental, I actually liked the girl and gave her the best care I am capable of. I am just floored by the social situations that are so bizarre, we couldn't make them up.......our imaginations wouldn't stretch that far. These poor children, growing up in an ammoral society. Do they have a prayer of being productive citizens ??? Thanks for letting me vent.

Specializes in nursery, L and D.

I think I have mentioned this somewhere before, but I once had a delivery that mom had her husband and her babies dad in the delivery room. The husband and mom were separated at the time of conception, mom had known the babies dad her whole life, and they were best friends. Guess the comforting went a little too far one night, and oops.

Husband and mom reconciled before the pregnancy was even discovered, but she did tell him about the, umm, incident at that time. Then, a few weeks later, found out she was pregnant, and knew from the dates it was her best friends child.

I spent quite a bit of time with all three of them over the course of there hospital stay. I don't know what might have gone on before hand, but at the delivery, you never saw two guys get along any better.

After the baby was born they both (the men) cried. The husband actually said to the babies dad "he looks just like you". Mom was just great, a really wonderful person, and the guys seemed to be good guys. Just one of those stranger than fiction stories.

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Wow - I just could not do that - but I did read an interesting book called Sperm Wars that says that women will sleep with more than one man to get the best of the best so to speak - I would like to think that we have a choice and it's not just an issue of hormones.....

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By the time I was a teenager, I had heard so many stories about women who married the scum of the earth and was left destitute with 2 or 3 kids (never figured it out after the first one) that I asked my mom if women had some kind of contest to see who could snag the most worthless man. We're not talking about couples who were incompatible; we're talking about guys who were drug addicts, went to prison, etc. and the women knew this about them before they ever went out with them. Oh, and then a year or two later Mr. Wonderful came along and the kids referred to their biodad as their "fake dad" or whatever.

I do remember how many kids changed their names in elementary school because their mom remarried and their stepdad adopted them, but this was in the early 1970s and I wonder now how much of this may have been "You have a new daddy so you don't need the old one any more."

:twocents:

IMHO, a lot of these marriages were unwanted because she got pregnant, or they wanted a wedding and didn't think about the marriage.

I have read about what life was like in the generation before me and I wondered if there were ANY happy marriages. People who lived in that time have told me there certainly were, but I'm very aware that many people (women especially) were forced into marriages they didn't want because of things like if a girl had a boyfriend when she graduated from high school, that was the man she married and that's just the way it was. Some people have told me that people (both men and women) would also marry someone they didn't love just so they could have sex, but anyone who thinks nobody in that era had sex outside of marriage is kidding themselves.

I have heard of many situations where girls escaped an unhappy or abusive home life by getting married - usually getting herself into an even worse situation. Boys escaped by joining the military or working for the railroad or some other kind of traveling job.

How accurate am I?

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I think I have mentioned this somewhere before, but I once had a delivery that mom had her husband and her babies dad in the delivery room. The husband and mom were separated at the time of conception, mom had known the babies dad her whole life, and they were best friends. Guess the comforting went a little too far one night, and oops.

Husband and mom reconciled before the pregnancy was even discovered, but she did tell him about the, umm, incident at that time. Then, a few weeks later, found out she was pregnant, and knew from the dates it was her best friends child.

I spent quite a bit of time with all three of them over the course of there hospital stay. I don't know what might have gone on before hand, but at the delivery, you never saw two guys get along any better.

After the baby was born they both (the men) cried. The husband actually said to the babies dad "he looks just like you". Mom was just great, a really wonderful person, and the guys seemed to be good guys. Just one of those stranger than fiction stories.

When I lived in my old city, there was this family (mom, dad, 3 daughters) who went to my church and I noticed that a little boy started attending regularly with them. I just assumed he was a cousin or a nephew, but it turned out to be the man's son with one of the wife's friends! :eek:

The wife was not aware that her husband had ever had sex with the friend (both said it only happened once) until the friend and her husband were divorcing for unrelated reasons, and she revealed that her husband was not the boy's father. The husband confessed that it was possible and the wife insisted on a blood test, and yes, the husband was the child's biological father. So, this couple did what was the right thing for them - the husband paid child support and they set up a visitation schedule. I don't know what the ex-husband's relationship was with the boy he thought was his son.

I told her, "You're a better person than I ever could be" and she replied, "We have been married 15 years, we have three daughters together, and I love him." She added that if she were to divorce her husband for being unfaithful, she would be a hypocrite because she too had gone outside the marriage - which he hadn't known about before this all blew up either.

Could you imagine what would have happened if, say, the boy needed a bone marrow transplant 20 years from now and he found out his dad wasn't his father and his mom knew it all along?

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Specializes in OBGYN, Neonatal.

Sheesh maybe we work in the same place LOL, no just kidding. But we had someone who had a similar issue and I guess what got me is that they talk candidly about it to everyone visiting, etc. Like its no biggie. I think it is a biggie but maybe thats just me, who knows! But I still do my job and am a patient advocate and good caregiver, just like you said! But yes it can be bizarre!

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i had my brother and his significant male other in the room when i had my first. the nurse looked at my brother and asked if he was the dad. nup he said, the other just said i dont do thst .....was funny at the time.....oh and a bit off the subject, i knew of a single mum who got back with the first babies daddy just so her kids could have the same father. then broke up with him as soon as she was pregnant......oh my......:jwdrp::omy:

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Specializes in ob; nicu.

A long time ago I had a Daddy that was running between the labor room of his wife and the labor room of his girlfriend. The weird thing was that everybody seemed okay with the situation. Nothing amazes me anymore.

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Specializes in L&D, Antepartum, Postpartum, MB, Special.

I had a teenage patient in labor that had her mom, her mom's boyfriend, her own boyfriend(teen), the baby's father (teen), her baby's father's girlfriend (teen), her baby's father's mom, her own 2 sisters, and her grandmother with her. There wasn't room to move in that room.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

Oh yea, I have seen several "significant others".....and of both sexes often. What defines "family " is broad and up to individual interpretation. Like Arwen says, at least SOMEbody(ies) was available and ready to take some responsibility. So many other times, there is NO ONE there for these moms and their babies. That saddens me more. Very little shocks me anymore in this business.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
A long time ago I had a Daddy that was running between the labor room of his wife and the labor room of his girlfriend. The weird thing was that everybody seemed okay with the situation. Nothing amazes me anymore.

Ever see that OLD movie, "Mickie and Maude" with Dudley Moore? You just reminded me of that one.:bugeyes:

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I find this sad.

And deciding paternity by hair color? Some babies are born with black hair but that doesn't mean their father has black hair. I had thick black hair and my dad has strawberry blonde hair.

I feel so sorry for the baby. I hope she/he is raised in a loving environment and becomes a productive member of society. Goes to show that our actions affect others. And as Arwen said, at least all 3 potential fathers showed up. That's something.

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Just when I think I've seen it all... I see some more! LOL

I've been working nursery for years. I've noticed a definite increase in the number of parents asking about the baby's blood type and or paternity testing.

We also had a dad that had a baby with one girl, then was back about a week later when his other girlfriend was giving birth.

What is this world coming to?!!!

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