Am I the only one who finds this disrespectful?

  1. 0 Right now there are two threads (one which was closed) devoted to "things you should know before coming into our department" and the tone of the thread is thinly-veiled contempt at ignorant, uneducated or silly things patients or patients' families say or do. I've been hanging around this board for a couple years, and these threads are a regularly occurring thing.

    I haven't said anything in these threads, instead I just close the thread and move on. But whenever I read them, I can't help but feel how disrespectful these threads seem. I understand people are "blowing off steam" and all that, but I don't know. It still really bothers me, and makes me wonder if these people who are so contemptuous are really able to mask their feelings very well.

    These threads often get SO big, which makes me wonder if maybe I'm alone in thinking that it's inappropriate and disrespectful to mock the patients we see, even if it is behind their backs.
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  3. Visit  klone profile page

    About klone, BSN, RN

    klone has '10' year(s) of experience and specializes in 'OB/Gyn, research, lactation,'. From 'Denver, CO, US'; Joined Apr '03; Posts: 8,658; Likes: 16,523.

    122 Comments so far...

  4. Visit  canoehead profile page
    1
    I don't think they are disrespectful, and I enjoy the threads. These are my favorite threads when we all get together to blow off steam.

    For example, tonight I had a woman inform me that she was allergic to water, and would need ginger ale to drink instead, and by the way, could I put a couple cubes of ice in it?
    DeLanaHarvickWannabe likes this.
  5. Visit  33-weeker profile page
    0
    as someone who started one of these vile threads, yes, i can say that we really can hide our feelings.

    i get top scores on my evaluation for patient satisfaction/courtesy every year. in 15+ years of nursing, i have never had a patient complain about me that i am aware of. i have, however, been named in letters written by patients as one of their favorite nurses.

    i think what you might be missing in these threads, despite all the little animated faces we can add, is the tone in which these things are said. the actual words we use to communicate are only a small fraction of total communication. when you read the words, your mind may put a different spin on it than the person who wrote it.

    i really do give patients the benefit of the doubt - sometimes to a fault. i am kind to every patient, regardless of their situation. this takes self control. i need to 'blow off steam' somewhere. i bet that the people blowing off the most steam here are the ones who are most controlled in front of their patients. after all, if you let it all hang out in front of them, you'd have no need to vent.
  6. Visit  33-weeker profile page
    0
    another thought that occurred to me later...

    many of us feel rather powerless over things in our society that we must simply endure, even though they are clearly wrong. (drug addicts popping out a micro preemie every year at the taxpayers' expense - not to mention the babies' expense... able-bodied people scamming the system and living off hard-working taxpayers... and the list goes on).

    these threads, even though they may focus on individual, irritating things or people, give us a place to vent about such nonsense in our society at large. of course, when we deal with people face to face, it is different than complaining about the faceless masses, and we are able to have compassion for the person and give them the care they need, regardless of their situation.
  7. Visit  traumamomtx profile page
    0
    get over yourself.....if we didn't laugh at some of these things behind pt's and their families backs we might just cry in front of them; or worse really tell them like it is. We all have to have a place to vent and laugh with our sarcasm because our days are way to stressful and serious to have compassion 24/7. I have one: my pt is "lactose intolerant" but he eats ice cream all night long from the unit's fridge.
  8. Visit  SharonH, RN profile page
    0
    Quote from klone
    These threads often get SO big, which makes me wonder if maybe I'm alone in thinking that it's inappropriate and disrespectful to mock the patients we see, even if it is behind their backs.

    No, you are not alone. We all blow off steam and lord knows I have vented on this board but so often these posts drift into pure contempt filled with stereotypes and out and out lies. Also, judging from the interaction I've had with the patient population often targeted in those threads, the principals are not nearly as good as hiding their dislike as they think. I have had patients who would rather suffer than be treated like dirt just because they are poor/uninsured/on Medicaid. Being poor in this society has become akin to a character flaw in our society and I see this attitude reflected in a lot of these threads.
  9. Visit  hogan4736 profile page
    0
    Quote from traumamomtx
    get over yourself.....if we didn't laugh at some of these things behind pt's and their families backs we might just cry in front of them; or worse really tell them like it is. We all have to have a place to vent and laugh with our sarcasm because our days are way to stressful and serious to have compassion 24/7. I have one: my pt is "lactose intolerant" but he eats ice cream all night long from the unit's fridge.
    Now now, we cannot judge...Maybe he had some milk trauma when he was younger, and can only have frozen lactose
  10. Visit  muffie profile page
    0
    humor is a very important tool to stay sane in our ever increasingly challenging jobs
  11. Visit  EmerNurse profile page
    0
    I agree with 33-weeker - this is only venting, and I'd NEVER EVER let my patient's get less than my very best care AND attitude. I don't make it a point to know their insurance status and even if I know, it makes no difference. Really, it doesn't.

    But as was said, it does get frustrating night after night after night - and honestly, who understands best what we see and deal with but other nurses? My darling wonderful husband can sympathize, but he isn't THERE.

    I get a lot of comfort from knowing that I'm not the only one who needs to vent - (that's a big thanks to all my follow nursies out there btw).

    That said, I've gotten annoyed at some things I've heard folks at work say - I may vent but I keep it out of work and certainly NEVER where a patient might hear it.

    Hugs to alla us nursy types!
  12. Visit  Tweety profile page
    0
    You're entitled to express your opinion, despite it being a minority opinion, without being told "get over yourself".

    I'm a bit torn. I hear similar things in the breakroom that I read on those threads, and really it amounts to no more than disrespectful gossip in the guise of "venting".

    I think that as long as patient care is not compromised, there's probably no harm done.
  13. Visit  imenid37 profile page
    0
    Do we really have to on our best behaviour all of the time? I will admit, that I am not a saint. I am not, however, someone patients complain about recieving poor treatment from. When our patients come to us, we have to take care of them. There are times when we wonder why in the world people continue to use very poor judgement over and over again as many patients do. I suppose this is where some dark humour comes in. So what! Do you really think no one has ever mocked anything you did, that they felt was ill-advised or downright foolish, behind your back? If the patient is treated well, it is immaterial, IMHO. I am sorry, I think this is the real world and that is just the way it is.
  14. Visit  RNLaborNurse4U profile page
    0
    We tend to vent about some of our patients in our breakroom too....however, I find that it's our way of decompressing and dealing with what we see every day. Some of the new nurses are just astounded at who we take care of - it's not all rosy like they pictured when they started with us!! I try really hard not to sound like a bitter nurse when I vent...especially around newer nurses at work. But sometimes you just gotta work at getting stuff off of your chest. I can vent to my boyfriend at home, but it's not the same. He doesn't work in this field, and he'll never truly understand what I see and deal with every day.

    And to the original poster - some of us really need to vent....that's what the other two threads were for. I give my all to each and every patient I take care of. I don't discriminate against anyone based on insurance, ability to pay, skin color, age, etc. Yes, I do have my "favorite type" of patients.....but I care for them all just the same! When I walk into their room, even if I have problems with the patient themself, or their visitors/support people, I make sure my attitude and face shows only the utmost compassion, support, and excellent nursing care that I provide. I am there to help them, and care for them --- if I were to ever feel that I couldn't provide only my best, I would immediately ask to have my assignment changed. I have only had to do that ONCE in over five years. A change could not be granted at that point with my assignment, so I tried my absolute BEST to put myself in my patient's position - and realized that I needed to change MY attitude in order to care for her better. It was actually an amazing learning experience for me.
  15. Visit  justavolunteer profile page
    0
    I 'm not a nurse, I'm 'justavolunteer', but I understand why some comments are made and why nurses need to vent. I see some of the grief that nurses get from pts. Sometimes it's welfare pts. who think that anything they want should be paid for the taxpayers. I would never think of being discourteous to a pt. (In fact the volunteer dept has told me they get regular comments on my courtesy to all.)
    I once heard enough of a discussion between a pt & a discharge planner to know the person was on state aid. She was throwing a royal fit because the hospital wouldn't provide her a massage therapist at taxpayer expense. It would be a miracle if things like that DIDN'T draw comments!


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