My 9 year old patient was raped and required surgery

  1. 75 I currently have a 9 year old girl I am taking care of on unit. She was raped resulting in surgical repair to entire pelvic floor and also needed a colostomy. As I change her sheets and such I just don't know what to do. I cry everytime I walk in there. I just want to hold her. She isn't allowed visitors and she is so scared. My heart is breaking. Any advice?
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  3. Visit  ssouthernyankee profile page

    About ssouthernyankee

    ssouthernyankee has '5' year(s) of experience and specializes in 'med/surg'. From 'Arkansas'; 36 Years Old; Joined Feb '08; Posts: 130; Likes: 598.

    321 Comments so far...

  4. Visit  Atheos profile page
    42
    Jesus...

    Nurses that can work with children are angels. I swear.
  5. Visit  Kylea profile page
    26
    I am so sorry for that little girl, and I admire you so much for being able to do what you do. I cannot imagine how I would handle that situation. I do have a question though. Why isn't she allowed visitors? I would think that even one familiar face would help her. A family member with no connection to the assault? Can she have any toys or stuffed animals? Little things go a long way; even a hug when she's comfortable accepting one. As for you, we are here for you to lean on when you need it. Keep leaning during this.
    floridanurse1983, CCL RN, pashark, and 23 others like this.
  6. Visit  DA314 profile page
    32
    I was thinking maybe you could give her a journal. Say something like "I saw this and it made me think of you. I know you can get bored in the hospital, so I thought you'd like a journal to write in"

    That may help her by showing that you care, giving her something to do, and it lets her get her emotions out in a safe way.
    pseudomonas, Always_Learning, Mashira, and 29 others like this.
  7. Visit  SuesquatchRN profile page
    18
    I'm in tears reading this.

    No ideas. Just lots of love to you, and to that poor child.
  8. Visit  racing-mom4 profile page
    19
    Eye contact/kind words and a tender touch will go along way...god bless you for taking good care of her.

    I just can not imagine, my heart is breaking just thinking of this situation. Maybe she cant have visitors as her parents are in lock up for killing the monster that did this to her. Thats probably where I would be.

    I only ever had 1 rape pt---make sure ALL you documentation is deatiled and perfect...as it will most likely be used in a court case.
    JZ_RN, pinkchris2000, HealingBalm, and 16 others like this.
  9. Visit  norcalRNstudent profile page
    8
    Sending hugs your way. I had a similar patient a few weeks ago. All you can do is try to be a stable, caring, trustworthy adult figure in her day. You might be the only one she knows.:icon_hug:
    PhoenixTech, llltapp, live4today, and 5 others like this.
  10. Visit  FireStarterRN profile page
    10
    That is beyond words, it's so horrible. I would have a hard time handling this emotionally. I'll pray for that girl today.
  11. Visit  Spidey's mom profile page
    10
    You are, as Stan said, a hero (or angel) to me.

    I'll be praying for this innocent child and for you.

    steph
  12. Visit  Halinja profile page
    18
    Quote from ssouthernyankee
    I currently have a 9 year old girl I am taking care of on unit. She was raped resulting in surgical repair to entire pelvic floor and also needed a colostomy. As I change her sheets and such I just don't know what to do. I cry everytime I walk in there. I just want to hold her. She isn't allowed visitors and she is so scared. My heart is breaking. Any advice?
    Would she let you hold her? Do you have the time? Poor baby, because 9 is still a baby. Its possible that she isn't allowed visitors because of the identity of the perpetrator, and pressures that might be brought to bear on her. My heart goes out to you both. I liked the journal idea someone had. And if she'll let you...a hug can go a long long way towards healing a heart, that and a willingness to be there for her. She'll bear the scars of this life long...and I don't mean the physical ones. This I know, believe me. But its how people treat her now that can influence how she'll deal with it. Be open. People don't talk to you, people act like nothing happened, people act embarrassed. You learn to stuff it down and be ashamed, and that isn't good.

    Sorry. the soapbox got activated.

    Blessings to you both
  13. Visit  ssouthernyankee profile page
    32
    I can't believe I'm about to share this but....I myself was in a eerily similar situation at 11 yrs. old. I have a good sense of what she's going through, it's just making it all the more difficult.
    I am waiting on a sitter to come stay with my kiddos so I can go to the mall. I am going to go buy a ton of Christmas presents for her I don't care what my superiors think of it. She can't have visitors because so far she won't speak of who did this to her. There's a VERY strong suspicion it's her dad if that's what u want to call him. I think he's on the verge of arrest if not already. I know for sure I am going to find her the biggest softest teddy bear I can find and the journal is a wonderful idea. I think somehow she can sense that I understand. My coworkers have noticed that I am the only one she will smile at.
    Another question, would it be unprofessional for me to share some very vague details about my own experience to help her know she's not alone and that healing is possible? I just don't know what to do but I have to do something. I am beginning to rethink my career at this point.
    shay-shay, JZ_RN, jennybean14, and 29 others like this.
  14. Visit  rehab nurse profile page
    7
    Oh my.

    Hats off to you, my friend. I sent you a PM.
  15. Visit  Multicollinearity profile page
    22
    Quote from ssouthernyankee
    Another question, would it be unprofessional for me to share some very vague details about my own experience to help her know she's not alone and that healing is possible? I just don't know what to do but I have to do something. I am beginning to rethink my career at this point.
    I would refrain from sharing anything personal with this poor girl. Besides it being a boundary issue, she might mention it to someone else, and it could end up in the public court process. There could also be other unanticipated consequences of blurring your boundaries with her.


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