Stupid things said by your non-nurse significant other

Said by my sister (who has bipolar disorder and is extremely noncompliant).

"Well, I found that I can cure Malaria with my chicken soup for 3 days. 'Cause Mike (her DH) had it and I just dosed him up and he's cured!!!!!"

"You see he got back when he served in Vietnam, and it keeps coming and going - Besides what else could he have possibly had, 'cause he had a fever but no vomiting or diarrhea - it had to be the Malaria."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As a side note, she used to tell me that she "adjusted" her Lithium dose so that she could drink "just a little bit."

#1 - When my dad had a stress test done a few years ago, Mom called to say everything was ok. She said the only thing of note was that his heart rate was a little slow. I explined that in very active people like my dad, it's common for them to have a slower pulse. Mom says, "They didn't say anything about his pulse, they said his heart rate was slow!!"

#2 - A nurse I work with had a patient's son tell her that he had taken care of his father's "section 5 decub" all by himself.

As long as it's pronounced "balled" peanuts! I live in OH, but as a kid, went down to south GA every summer to my granny's house (with mom & my siblings). I can still remember her cooking up some "balled" peanuts on the kitchen stove.

We were down in GA some years ago, and I got some boiled peanuts & tried to share them with my darling wife. For some reason, she wasn't that thrilled with them...

She HAS, however, learned to eat Hoppin' John, greens, and fried okra!

One of my brothers was having back pain one day and said to me "I think I have a cold in my back". After laughing hysterically, I assured him that there was no such thing. Then I said that "if you have a cold in your back is that why you've been sneezing out of your butt so much?".

You nurses have a lot of kick to ya!

"I am getting a blood test to check my prostRate gland"

Me: "actually, honey, it's called prostate"

Him: "No- it IS prostRate"

Me: Whatever....

My sister, who is a MA, often has "almost" something......
Last year it was "almost" pneumonia
Her son, btw, also has "almost" cystic fibrosis!

Almost pneumonia...did you tell her in medical terms its called a cold?

A neighbor's husband was admitted for surgery and shortly thereafter, I saw another neighbor who reported on him. He'd had his foot amputated above the knee...

sharpeimom