Stupid things said by your non-nurse significant other

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This thread is started in honor of my darling husband, who told me this morning that he almost woke me early because he had a bowel obstruction.

I said, "A bowel obstruction? Really? Tell me more about it, honey."

He said, "Well, I had a hard time moving my bowels this morning. It took a long time and when I was done, I had this huge, hard stool, one of the biggest I've ever seen!"

As if that was something I'd be hopping right outta bed to see! I told him, "Honey, if you had a bowel obstruction, you'd be headed in for surgery. You'd be in pain. You wouldn't have just had the most humongous stool of your life. You didn't have an obstruction. You didn't even have an impaction, which I would NOT have removed for you, no matter how much I love you. You were constipated. In other words, you were simply full of ****. BTW, lay off the cheese!" The love of my life can eat a half pound of cheese in one sitting and wonders why he gets constipated! speechless-smiley-040.gif

Of course he's not a nurse! :devil:

Anyone else have stories about stupid, funny, silly things said by their dear non-nurse significant others, friends, family members? Please share! I can't be the only one!

Specializes in Emergency Medicine.

soon2be nurse -

your fiance? does that mean what i think it means?

still time to trade up, bright one. if he can't respect your best advice now, and runs to mom . . .

Specializes in M/S, Tele, Sub (stepdown), Hospice.
soon2be nurse -

your fiance? does that mean what i think it means?

still time to trade up, bright one. if he can't respect your best advice now, and runs to mom . . .

huh??

Specializes in Stroke Seizure/LTC/SNF/LTAC.
Huh??

I think she means you can still call off the wedding. Implied: If he's not listening to you (and respecting your asked-for advice) now, he won't listen to you once you're married. :idea::uhoh3:

Specializes in M/S, Tele, Sub (stepdown), Hospice.
I think she means you can still call off the wedding. Implied: If he's not listening to you (and respecting your asked-for advice) now, he won't listen to you once you're married. :idea::uhoh3:

I never said we were getting married - reread the post....I say my BF (boyfriend....not fiance) :)

Specializes in Stroke Seizure/LTC/SNF/LTAC.

Oops. It was natatat who said that her fiance did not take her advice, always called his mom about medical questions:icon_roll.

I LOVE this thread bc even though I'm not a nurse (yet), I truly have been studying & into the medical field my entire life, & have encountered quite the few riotous statements made by the non-medical folk in my life. :lol2:

Recently, I heard one claim Iron is for building muscle rather than it's function of aiding oxygen to red blood cells, like something they learned from too much exposure to Popeye or Shwarzenegger.

Great thread for a good chuckle. :up:

Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,.

my husband has been sniffling, snorting, snoring loudly, snuffling etc. for a few days. it's one-sided. no temp, no malaise, sinuses throbbing, breathing /c his mouth opened like a guppy, etc. my brilliant wife's (not nurse's dx, because nurses don't diagnose) diagnosis was a "plugged up right sinus."

he finally, after much coercion, used warm wet compresses over his nose and cheeks, it helped a lot but, much to his dismay, did not cure him.:eek: yesterday, he finally began taking the decongestant i bought him:idea: almost a week ago and ... he doesn't breathe like a warthog anymore!!:D

but every single time he blows his nose, he asks me,"should you check it:barf02: to see if i'm getting an infection?":chair: never should have asked him whether what he's blowing out was greenish, yellow, or blood tinged... me and my big fat mouth!:uhoh3:

kathy

shar pei mom:paw::paw:

Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

:hhmth::hhmth:

Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,.

it apparently was a bug because guess who has it now?! :uhoh3: :eek:

kathy

shar pei mom:paw::paw:

Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
it apparently wasn't a bug because guess who has it now?! :uhoh3: :eek:

kathy

shar pei mom:paw::paw:

you poor dear. hopefully you won't get too sick with it.
Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,.
you poor dear. hopefully you won't get too sick with it.

thanks fran!

i'm already on the road to recovery, although. i think between my husband and me, kleenex stock has tripled this week!:rolleyes:

kathy

shar pei mom:paw::paw:

Since my significant other is a nurse, this one comes from my mother...

Milk/dairy products (surprise surprise) make her "mucousy", so she avoids them. That's just fine, except she has been telling people for years that she is "a little bit lactose intolerant". No amount of me telling her otherwise or explaining what lactose intolerance is will change her mind. Her sister-in-law is lactose intolerant, and I know she has explained it to her, but still...

Also, a couple of times when she was visiting, she and my daughter ended up sharing a bathroom during her visits (until we renovated downstairs and solved that problem). My mother uses a lot of hairspray, something we don't use at all in our house. The bathroom is small and windowless and there's nowhere for the hairspray to go. Twice, my daughter developed a bit of a wheeze while mom was visiting, and I attributed it to the hairspray, since she has no breathing problems usually and the only time she has ever wheezed was during these two visits. Mom was concerned about the wheezing and kept pointing it out to me, thinking I should be more concerned. But the wheeze was mild, she wasn't short of breath, could talk and walk and was pretty much normal except for the tiny wheeze. I told her that I thought it was her hairspray causing it, because that's the only change and it's only been these two times.

And you know what she said? "Well, maybe you just don't notice it until I'm here to point it out to you." Yes, that's it, mother. Because I don't assess people's breathing for a living...

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