Stupid things that nurses say

[OnlybyHisgraceRN]

I'm going to pick on myself for a moment. I have to admit that sometimes I blurt things out without truly thinking about it. Today I said something ( without thinking) to a patient that was purely stupid.

Long story short: My patient had to drink a medication that did not taste so good. She had to drink a whole cup and the only thing I could do to make it bearable was to add a little ice.

Patient: "This taste horrible"

Me: "Just imagine it is a magarita on the rocks";)

Patients' husband: " That is not a good idea, since we are both recovering alcoholics"

Me: " Oh you are right...bad idea, never mind.( then I proceed to use more therapeutic interventions)

Needless to say I learned my lesson, never assume anything.

I now except my award for blurting out the most stupid thing ever!

:thankya:

[nursel56]

Not just residents! I've shared this before, but one of our docs was doing a pelvic for c/o possible yeast infection. He pulled up the stool, got the light and said,

"It looks like a cottage cheese factory in there." :/

[OnlybyHisgraceRN, ASN, RN]

This was is more of " mean things nurss say"

A coworker had a difficult patient. The patient was very sassy and sarcastic. The nurse asked the patient if he was in pain. The patient replied " are you in pain"?

The nurse stated: " Yes, I'm in pain but my pain leaves when I go home, yours will always be here"

[DizzyLizzyNurse]

Not just residents! I've shared this before, but one of our docs was doing a pelvic for c/o possible yeast infection. He pulled up the stool, got the light and said,

"It looks like a cottage cheese factory in there." :/

:barf01:

I think I've shared this before but once I had a patient in her 80's tell me she was going to call her mother (in LTC). I tried to reorient her but she insisted her mom was still alive. Whatever. I walked to the nurses' station and shared this with the other LPN. Turns out her mother WAS alive and over 100 and living in another nursing home.

So yeah, never assume.

[JenLPN001]

Had a resident once tell me to go to hell. Without thinking, replied "I'm already there"

[Firestorm 11]

OMG! All these great stories make me chuckle...and I needed some nursing humor! We take ourselves so seriously most of the time.

[sauconyrunner]

was dealing with an elderly gentleman who had become progressively more confused on the night shift. During first morning rounds, he ask, "Did you see the traveling salesman who came through here?" His eyes were shifting side to side like those in a haunted house painting. For whatever reason, I lost my presence of mind and replied, "No. What was he selling?" Ok, not a bit of reality orientation in that one! His reply was even more priceless, "Manure chips...and I ate every one of them...and I don't feel very good." Oh, no, what I had already said wasn't enough. It was all I could do to avoid an outright burst of laughter, in a situation already headed south, before I let loose with my brilliant reply, "Well no wonder you don't feel very good!" Needless to say...he was in respirtory failure and wound up transferring to ICU. I am not sure if what I said was unforgiveable or brilliant in that his degree of disorientation was immediately maifest and I took appropriate action. Right after I took my foot out of my mouth. To this day, I still do not understand how I blundered into that situation.

My first job was a Neurosurgical ICU. I came in one day and was assessing my one verbal patient...I asked who the president was, She said "Kennedy" I was about to ask her a few more questions and then reorient her, when she said, "But you know, I didn't vote for him" I looked at her in all honesty and said, "Well Ma'am, neither did I".

[Vicki L]

My pt.: "Oh you're a student, how nice. Do you know what you might want to specialize in?"

Me (as a 1st year RN student): "Well, I'm thinking oncology. Med Surg is so depressing!"

My pt.: "Med Surg is depressing?!!!!! What, people suffering from cancer isn't depressing to you?!"

Me: "Um, no, um, I mean, yes. It's just that I keep treating patients who are obese, have COPD from smoking decades, have renal failure from being out of control diabetics, & so on. I'd rather treat others who have a desire to fight to live, which is the case with many Dx with cancer because it strikes many unexpectedly. Many in Med Surg seem not to care about themselves. They let themselves fall apart."

I wanted to go back in time to choose my words more wisely. The worse thing was that she had told me earlier that she misses visiting her best friend who's undergoing chemo. This particular pt. was overweight & suffering from conditions beyond her control. Her very obese daughter was in the room too. I couldn't wait to excuse myself out of the room!

Luckily, I made up for it later by providing her excellent education on her condition. I taught her things she said no one had ever taken the time to explain to her. I was so good, I could hardly believe it! She was very grateful. I just wish her daughter had witnessed that, so I could feel like I saved some face.

[Williss2]

I didn't actually say anything this time, but I charted it. I was tired and charting my nursing notes on the computer. At the end, I usually put somthing like, "Will continue to monitor until shift change." I guess I forgot the F and I put, "Will continue to monitor until **** change." What is so funny is how applicable both phrases are. I quickly modified that document. I can't imagine what would have happened if I didn't change it before someone saw it.

[wooh, BSN, RN]

That's right there with the doctor that always writes, "This x year old formerly well male patient," forgot the "well" and wrote, "This x year old formerly male patient." We asked him what the patient was now. :)

[champagnesupeRNova]

I was a student and was assigned to one of the most crabby patients I had ever encountered. He gave me a heck of a time all day. When I was leaving and reporting off to the nurse (outside the pt's door):

Me: "This is a 53 y/o male, A&O X3, at times with respiratory difficulties and SOB..."

Patient yelling from bed: "WHO YOU CALLIN' AN SOB?!!"

:uhoh21:

[CT Pixie, BSN, RN]

Love it!!

Interesting to read that you can have shared rooms in LTC. These a very much frowned upon in the UK.

All the LTC facilities I've worked in have 95% shared rooms. I did clinicals in one that had 4 patients to a room . Hated those places. The facilities I've worked in have 2 people to a room. Of my 17 rooms on my hall, 15 of those are double beds, only 2 private rooms.

[RNCCMMS, RN]

ROFL. The foley caths ones are the best, followed closely by the charting bloopers lol

Thanks for the laughs!:yelclap: