Nurses Humor
Published Mar 20, 2012
Rule is: One sentence. Random thought. Silly is great. Funny would rock. If you're going to be judgmental, GO TO ANOTHER THREAD! FUN ONLY HERE!
Fomite is my new favorite word because it sounds like a sandwich spread.
mikethemurse, BSN, RN
1 Article; 54 Posts
While doing wound care on an inmate who was bitten by a police dog....
Me: Man them dogs are fast ain't they?
Him: (arrgghh) yeah!!
icuRNmaggie, BSN, RN
1,970 Posts
I'm sorry you are in 4 point leather restraints sir, but I am not going to scratch your balls for you.
You must be confused sir, this is the Boston City Hospital not Roxy's *****house.
TriciaJ, RN
4,328 Posts
nope. the "tut tut" post is obligatory.
"Bet you won't run from a police dog again."
Yeah, they will. Trust me.
RNsRWe, ASN, RN
3 Articles; 10,428 Posts
I'm sorry, I don't like needles either ....
I VERY frequently hear patients say "I hate needles" or "I don't like needles" when they know the very reason they are in front of me is so that I can insert a needle.
At this point, my response to "I don't like needles" is "Really? That's surprising....most people I see ask if I can do it two or three times, they just love needles so much"
And ever notice how many people with obvious tattoos will say "I really don't like needles"....as if those tattoos were created by a magical overnight cream?
Do-over, ASN, RN
1,085 Posts
as far as someone "not liking needles". I say, "Neither do I, and it is truly better to give than receive!"
maelstrom143
398 Posts
Sir, I understand that you need to poop, however we are trying to determine if you've had a stroke so can we just get to CT already?(this after 30 minutes on and off the bedpan with minimal results)
(this after 30 minutes on and off the bedpan with minimal results)
Oh My Gawd...the thought that popped into my mind reading this,"Would you like us to request a rectal tube so that we can do this CT done?" Not sure where that thought came from...
Wouldn't it be more satisfying to pop it like bubble wrap?
ShelbyaStar
468 Posts
Immediately post-shower: "I'm glad you like me enough to want to hug me all the time, but let's put pants on first, mkay?"
LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN
8,429 Posts
Yikes.
JBudd, MSN
3,836 Posts
You don't like needles? They have to pay me to play with them.