Share Your Funniest Patient Stories... - page 33

We all have lots of stories to tell. I thought it would be fun if we shared a few of our funniest patient stories with each other. :lol2: Here's mine... I keep remembering a particular... Read More

  1. by   TDub
    Quote from nursechris1
    This was about 15 years ago, when I was a CNA. I was working in a nursing home. We had a patient who was 103. I was putting him to bed, and I leaned over to give him a hug goodnight. He grabbed me and pulled me to his chest. I couldn't get away. Finally, he let go, and asked "was it good for you?" :smackingf

    Another time, He told me that he would like to marry me, but it wouldn't be fair, as he "was flat down there". (He had no penis, he had penile cancer, and it had been removed!)


    Why, how thoughtful of him.
  2. by   BigDog
    Help I seeem to have a foot in my throat. 90 yr old lady and she is deaf as post.As I attempt to administer procardia s.l. in the middle of a 20 bed PACU I yell Lift your head I've got a little tongue for ya, instead of lift your tongue etc. Assoon as I said had to look to see who noticed,of coarse evryone heard it, but the kicker was the pts response,she says to me OK dear do what ya gotta do.Thats when I burst out laughin she didnt hear anything we said to her.
  3. by   coral0033
    It was in the 60s i worked in England told to ac:spin: ompany a porter to the matury with a deceased patient as we approached the matury the porer let go of the trolly not knowing that an incline was there the trolly started to move----- ofcourse i let go of he trolly, an and screemed
    coral033
  4. by   ROSYJO11
    nursing a 97 yr old dementia lady, the nurse made comment on her son being there. The patient quite seriously said he wouldnt be there as he was overseas at the moment. The nurse said, 'look, he's right here behind you!' . The patient quickly turns in her chair , looking oh so surprised, and says, 'Goodness, that was a quick flight!' She was so serious, it was too funny.
  5. by   rianne1117
    Quote from opal1266
    the funniest thing happened to me when i was a newly qualified RGN, i was mentoring two first year student nurses on their second placement, a patient who i will call Jack had unfortunately passed away earlier that morning. i askedmy students to perform last offices,explaining that Jacks wife was on her way and wanted to see Jack before he went to Rose cottage, i asked the students to make him look as natural as possible, I meant put his teeth in and remove the catheter etc. unfortunately it seems as if i was a little too literal, the students came and told me they had finished, i went into Jacks room to find the students had dressed him in his 3 piece brown tweed suit, sat in him the chair, put his glasses on and put a newspaper on his knees. he certainly looked natural but it wasn't quite the look i was aiming for:smackingf


    ROTFL :roll

    OMG!!!! I can't get over this one!!!! Whaahahahhahah


    blushkiss:redpinkhe
  6. by   NurseRotten
    I was placing a nitro-patch on an elderly CHFer. He asked, "What is that for?" I told him that it is nitroglycerin and it helps to increase blood flow to the coronary arteries, etc"
    "Nitroglycerin? We used that during the war (WWII) to blow the dirt out of foxholes. Do you know that is an explosive?"
    I tried to formulate a response. It went something like, "well, yea but this is in a different form."
    His response caught me off-guard and I nearly fell over laughing.
    He said, "Hey, instead of putting it on my chest, why don't you put it down here (pointing to his boxer shorts)? My wife has been dead for 8 years, and Lord knows I could use an explosion down there!
  7. by   icuwant2rn
    Quote from DARLINGLILITH
    I've been working on oncology and recently took care of a 43 y/o woman with brain metastases. She'd been growing steadily more ill and had all of her family surrouding her while she lay in bed. She couldn't see or hear well 'cause of tumor involvement and there were communication problems...... Anyway, she started calling out and her family called the nurses in. When two of us entered (in whites) she started calling out and waving us towards her, meanwhile telling her family members to back up. As we each came up on a different side of her bed she grabbed our hands and started telling us that she was ready to go. Me, not understanding, tried to reason with her and convince her that she wasn't in any shape to be walking. At that point she began telling her family members goodbye and that she loved them all dearly.....then told both of us that she was ready for the "angels of death" to take her away! Guess who the "angels" were?! I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry- better than the other patient (an older lady) who saw my charge nurse enter her room and screeched "Get back, b**** of death!"
    ROFL!!!!
  8. by   paxlax
    i am a school nurse, and a few days ago a girl came into my office and and complained she felt sick, and was freezing cold, it was 87 degrees out, i assumed fever. so i took her temp, and briefly walked away, when i came back i took the thermometer out of her mouth and found it read 110 degrees. i looked down into her hands to find a hot cup of tea. she apologized and asked me to retake her temp, but she wasn't warm, so i sent her back to class. about an hour later she came back and said she felt like she was going to throw up. i took her temp, and watched her this time, but she had a 98.9, a fine temp. i sat her down to talk to her to see what was up, and why she wanted to go home so badly, but she said nothing, and again i sent her off to class. when she came in again, i told her to sit down and i would be there in a min. i was having a really busy day, and i expected her to be faking again, but right as i turned around, she threw up all over the floor. i got her up and sat her onto a bed. once again, i took her temp. it was 102.7. i sent her home. i am still not sure if somehow she made herself have a temp, and made herself throw up, because it was only about 45 min. before she was back in my office for the 3rd time, and she had a big temp. jump. i would really like some other opinions on this. do you think she was faking?
  9. by   ROSYJO11
    Quote from paxlax
    I am a school nurse, and a few days ago a girl came into my office and and complained she felt sick, and was freezing cold, it was 87 degrees out, I assumed fever. So I took her temp, and briefly walked away, when I came back I took the thermometer out of her mouth and found it read 110 degrees. I looked down into her hands to find a hot cup of tea. She apologized and asked me to retake her temp, but she wasn't warm, so I sent her back to class. About an hour later she came back and said she felt like she was going to throw up. I took her temp, and watched her this time, but she had a 98.9, a fine temp. I sat her down to talk to her to see what was up, and why she wanted to go home so badly, but she said nothing, and again I sent her off to class. When she came in again, I told her to sit down and I would be there in a min. I was having a really busy day, and I expected her to be faking again, but right as I turned around, she threw up all over the floor. I got her up and sat her onto a bed. Once again, I took her temp. It was 102.7. I sent her home. I am still not sure if somehow she made herself have a temp, and made herself throw up, because it was only about 45 min. before she was back in my office for the 3rd time, and she had a big temp. jump. I would really like some other opinions on this. Do you think she was faking?
    Your job is to observe the signs, treat the symptoms. This attitude of 'is she faking'? shouldnt be a major concern to you, the school nurse. Is it any skin off your nose if she is faking? I'm sorry, but I hate that attitude. My own daughter also went to her school nurse on three occasions in one day and each time was sent back to class. When I picked her up I found her standing in the middle of the school yard with her tears hitting the grass because her ear was SO SORE. I took her straight to the doctor who said her ear was badly infected. I also tore strips off the school nurse and admin staff who made the decision that she was fine despite her continual complaints. A child arrives to you with a genuine complaint, assess the child, call the parents, let them worry about the faking. You just need to assess the child and notify. And no, I dont believe she faked her fever, or the vomiting. And I dont believe this post belongs on this thread.
  10. by   Markthemalenurse
    Quote from ilnurse35
    I worked in long term care as a RN for 8 years, and many more as a cna before that. I have seen and heard many very funny things. One particular story comes to mind. I was working on an intermediate care unit, and most of the patients could do for themselves, but most weren't necessarily orientated. There were two women who were room mates, and often bickered back and forth. One day, they were having a pretty heated discussion in the lobby. One of the ladies finally walked away from the other and came to me at the nurses station. She proceeded to tell me that the other lady needed to be put in a home. I didn't know quite what to say.:chuckle
    R.o.f.l.o.l.
  11. by   manihikirn
    I was on night shift and a patient who had been discharged two days before was readmitted with necrosed haemarhoids and died. We washed and laid him out waiting for the pastor to come and have prayer service with the family before removing his body to the morgue. His room mate was distressed (and being one of the polynesian islands, superstitious) took himself off into the next room on to a vacant bed (it didnt matter to him that this was the ladies room). the next room had men one of whom (with dimentia) was persistently calling out and making loud noises (not an easy thing to deal with when one is tryping to offer comfort to a grieving daughter!). The distressed room mate who was obviously unsettled kept getting up and wandering around the ward and telling the noisy patient to be quiet. I went into the room to try and get the noisy patient to be quiet (we had tried to get him discharged back to home into the care of his family but they were evading the responsibility citing his need for O2 as the reason - he has COPD) and on leaving met the "distressed" pt coming out of the dayroom opposite who shouted at the noisy patient to "b****y shutup" and walked quickly away down the corridor away from me. I returned to the the nurses station to finish paper work when the "distressed" patient appeared at my elbow. "What is he doing still here?!" he demanded in a loud voice.Thinking he referred to the noisy pt, I replied, "well his family dont want to take him home" He looked at me in disbelief and so I added, "well he needs oxygen and that is still being organised". Eyes bulging he shouted,"He doesn't need oxygen, he's dead! ..oops
  12. by   sandygator
    In the early 80's I was working in a Miami Hosp in CCU. I was taking care of an intubated young black male who had the most forceful productive cough I've ever seen..when I would disconnect the ett to suction him he would cough huge luggies all over everything, including me. Well, I was grossed out and tired of changing scrubs so I had what I thought was a brillant idea; I took a pillow case, cut eye holes and placed it over my head when I suctioned. Then a young black nurse gently explained why this was not really a good idea...she told me I would give the poor man a heart attack if he woke up to find a white hooded person standing over him! We both laughed so hard at my stupidity. I did look funny in the pillowcase tho *grin*
    (P.S. Please do not think I believe there is anything funny about the KKK)
  13. by   dansamy
    Quote from Sandygator
    In the early 80's I was working in a Miami Hosp in CCU. I was taking care of an intubated young black male who had the most forceful productive cough I've ever seen..when I would disconnect the ett to suction him he would cough huge luggies all over everything, including me. Well, I was grossed out and tired of changing scrubs so I had what I thought was a brillant idea; I took a pillow case, cut eye holes and placed it over my head when I suctioned. Then a young black nurse gently explained why this was not really a good idea...she told me I would give the poor man a heart attack if he woke up to find a white hooded person standing over him! We both laughed so hard at my stupidity. I did look funny in the pillowcase tho *grin*
    (P.S. Please do not think I believe there is anything funny about the KKK)
    Bless your heart. Yes, the south still has a lot of lingering racial issues. Sometimes, you find yourself in the thick of something without meaning to be there.

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