If Martha Stewart was a nurse..... - page 3

:nono: Every time that I see Martha Stewart come up with another "good thing", it's always some preposterous, fancy, perfect, hair-brained idea that she probably thought of in the middle of the... Read More

  1. by   Antikigirl
    Clean and starched from garden materials..heck no..cleaned and starched from Martha's own urine..available at K-Marts near you!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!
  2. by   paraloco
    Quote from saintcheryl2002


    Every time that I see Martha Stewart come up with another "good thing", it's always some preposterous, fancy, perfect, hair-brained idea that she probably thought of in the middle of the night (and of course, she had to get up to record it in her handmade journal after she made a label and a bookmark).

    I swear this is true: Last week she was transplanting flowers and she put a tarp on the ground so that the grass wouldn't get "soiled" if some of the dirt spilled on it.

    I'm so glad she isn't a nurse. Can you imagine her ironing her patients sheets and pillowcases? She would be in the patient rooms re-arranging flowers that were just delivered from the florist. She would make hand sewn incontinent pads, put potpourri sachets in the bedpans, make dust ruffles to hide catheter bags hanging from the bed, make hand-made "Get Well" cards and she would put a lovely hanging plant on each IV pole.

    Anybody else got some good ideas?
    A basalmic Vinegar perineal freshup spray. l
  3. by   webblarsk
    Quote from stevielynn
    When I was a patient with a foley cath, I would have really really appreciated a cover for my foley bag when I had company. Just the thought of everyone seeing my urine was soooo embarrassing. So come on Martha - we need you in health care.

    steph
    The LTC facility I worked in had catheter covers for their bags made by FHA. Its actually regulation that the catheter bags have covers!
  4. by   Reddy,RN
    Could a tea cozy work as a catheter cozy?

  5. by   LYNNORA
    In defense of Martha, I would like to say that i think she would tackle nursing with the same professionalism that she has with her company. She took a home based catering business and built it into the brand we know of today. Some of Martha's ideas would be helpful to the units. Tips on etiquitte for example - such as how to answer the phone without sounding rude. If Martha was on the unit the patients would be giving us 10 out of 10 on our patient satisfaction scores. They don't care that you know what antibiotic you are running on them or that you called the doctor a million times about their problems over the last 3 days - they just want the room to be neat, food to be good and their call bells answered on the first ring.
  6. by   toonice818
    Quote from webblarsk
    The LTC facility I worked in had catheter covers for their bags made by FHA. Its actually regulation that the catheter bags have covers!
    MY LTC is the same way. I always try to get a more masculine-looking print for the gentlemen's bags, though.
  7. by   Mermaid4
    Ah yes, and the patients would flourish on 7 million thread count Egyption cotton sheets that are probably HAND washed by the alreay overworked nursing staff, who of course will be INGORED by Ms. Steward since they are mere minions. Each piece of equipment will not only have color coordinated hand made cotton covers ( which are of course, stain resistant), they will also have an accompaniament of NON irritating alarms to be set at various volumes not to be determined by the nurses, but by just about everyone else. Bandages will be fluffy cotton perfectly measured squares or rectangles, and jonny's will be color coordinated, appliqued and beautifully tied. There will be a special project with regard to patient restraints. Martha ( and I am also a Martha) will most probably appoint herself as nurse manager of every unit to assure her peons ( us) will accomplish all her goals and she will delegate accordingly, becoming even more wealthy than she is now.....Thats management for ya! Just kidding...
  8. by   nrsjo
    And just think of it! Now, that she has soooo much time on her hands, she will be all FULL of ideas when she gets out. I get nauseous just thinking about it.
    How about, instead of nurse call buttons, we have different sized bells in the rooms (color coordinated with the bedding, of course) depending on what the pt needed, there would be a different tone.
  9. by   vaughanmk
    Quote from webblarsk
    The LTC facility I worked in had catheter covers for their bags made by FHA. Its actually regulation that the catheter bags have covers!
    I am amazed that places are actually doing this. Giving some dignity back to patients. Sounds good to me.
  10. by   RNKITTY04
    I think Martha would be outstanding in the infection control area. Can you imagine how spotless everything would be?
    You might not have to wash your hands with betadine when you come out of your pts room if she was running the show! But than again Im sure she's never heard of: VRE, MRSA, or C-diff.
  11. by   paytonsnana
    [QUOTE=LilgirlRN]Martha Stewart Nurses notes

    1300 Delivered stationary to Mrs. Charles Randolph in suite 666 so that she could pen her thank you notes to those who have been so kind to visit and/or send a dozen or more roses during her 3 week stay for that very wicked hangnail. Ms. Martha Stewart Registered Nurse

    1330 Mrs Charles Randolph summoned me to her suite by very gently ringing the crystal bell that I have provided for her use. She requested the 18th century porcelain chamber pot as she had to relieve herself of liquid waste products. This was measured in a container that I carved from quartz crystal. 200 cc UOP. Ms. Martha Stewart Registered Nurse

    1445 Mrs Charles Randolph is napping now. The mahogany siderails that I applied to her hospital bed this morning are in the up position. She is resting comfortably on the 900 count pure Egyptian cotton sheets that I dyed myself to match the intriguing color of her eyes. Ms. Martha Stewart Registered Nurse.

    1630 Ambulating pt. in the corridor, she is using her platinum walker. To keep Mrs. Charles Randolph warm during this event, I have applied her full length mink coat. Ms. Martha Stewart Registered Nurse

    1800 Served the evening meal to Mrs. Charles Randolph. She started her meal with a watercress salad served on Royal Daulton bone china. Then a pumpkin soup made from cut pieces of fresh baby pumpkin, gently boiled until they were soft enough to mash, heavy cream was added and brought to a simmer. Next she had pheasant under glass with blanched asparagus on the side. The pheasant was served with an interesting mild dill sauce(my grandmahmah's recipe). For desert almonde torte was served. The meal was followed by coffee in front of the fireplace in her suite . Ms. Martha Stewart Registered Nurse

    1900 Time to report off to oncoming shift, but no one can do this job as well as I can, so I will just stay. Ms. Martha Stewart Registered Nurse.[/QUOTE



    Oh please, please, pretty please, let me be her patient.

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