Idiots, Inc.

  1. IDIOTS IN SERVICE:
    This week, our phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that since our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future outages by email. (Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?).


    IDIOTS AT WORK:
    I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.


    IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
    I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and she didn't want them to cross there anymore.


    IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE
    My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, butthey only had iceberg.


    IDIOT SIGHTING #1
    I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" She smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."


    IDIOT SIGHTING #2
    The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with a coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"


    IDIOT SIGHTING #3
    At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.


    IDIOT SIGHTING #4
    I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

    IDIOT SIGHTING #5
    When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know I already got that side."
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  2. 13 Comments

  3. by   Sleepyeyes
    Wow...i thought I was bad....
  4. by   live4today
  5. by   Gigglesforall
    :chuckle :chuckle :chuckle
  6. by   nakitamoon
    NRSKarenRN,,,, are you my neighbor???????

    I hadn't signed the back of my credit card either,,, the sales clerk,,, noticed it,,, wanted me to sign,,,, Told here ask for my drivers license,,, compare those signatures,,, I didn't want to sign,,, lose it and anyone could use it,,,, geesh,,,, Now you have blown a hole in that theory!!!!!!! lol

    ~Kita
  7. by   Weenurse
    I've heard alot of dumb remarks in work the most recent from a Gynae Dr. A young lady presented at our Emergency assessment unit c/o abdo pain and had been refered to Gynae. On asking the gynae SHO to review the patient he asked me what her diagnosis was, I replied," well, if I knew that I wouldn't need you would I ?!!"
  8. by   kittyw
    :roll
  9. by   nursedawn67
    Too funny...and we all know these are probably true!!
  10. by   VivaLasViejas
    You know what's also funny? Warning labels that come with things like cordless drills, fans, etc. My blow dryer has a warning on it that says "Do not use while sleeping". And you know the reason it's there, don't you---some dingbat actually did this at some point (and probably sued the manufacturer to boot!!). I also once had a vacuum cleaner with a label that said "Do not immerse in water". Like I'm gonna go clean out the pool with my trusty old Hoover upright.

    Then again, as the saying goes: if it weren't for drugs, booze, cigarettes and human stupidity, we nurses would all have to go out and get REAL jobs!!
  11. by   JailRN


    Karen, you must know the same folks that i do.
  12. by   MollyMo
    Question: Why is there braille on drive-up ATM'S?

    Crazy but true: When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at its intended victim during a hold-up, the would be robber peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. It worked.

    An American tourist in South America was attacked by killer bees as he stood on the bank of the Amazon. Seeking refuge, he jumped in the river and was eaten by piranha.
  13. by   ?burntout
    Originally posted by NRSKarenRN
    IDIOTS IN SERVICE:
    This week, our phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that since our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future outages by email. (Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?).


    IDIOTS AT WORK:
    I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.


    IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
    I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and she didn't want them to cross there anymore.


    IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE
    My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, butthey only had iceberg.


    IDIOT SIGHTING #1
    I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" She smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."


    IDIOT SIGHTING #2
    The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with a coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"


    IDIOT SIGHTING #3
    At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.


    IDIOT SIGHTING #4
    I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

    IDIOT SIGHTING #5
    When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know I already got that side."

    I swear-I think you are in Alabama??!!
    :roll
  14. by   prmenrs
    Karen, these are hysterical!

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