Funny Things Naieve Medical Personnel Have Said

Nurses Humor

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i have a 36 yo very naieve sister, who is a cna. she loves what she does; er mostly. she told me once.

quote: ya know, i'm a virgin and shouldn't have to wash those men's private parts.:lol2:

she has entertained me over the years with such remarks as these, and when she's around, i don't need a comedian. the best part is, she doesn't realize she's saying anything funny. i love her to pieces.

do you have anything to share about things you have heard from naieve medical personnel? if so, would you care to share?

From a pregnant 16-year old in a CNA class I helped teach...

"You mean I have to clean men's 'bathing suit' area? I've never done anything like that. I wasn't brought up to look at a man with no clothes on."

*look at her with a blank stare* *Blink, Blink, Blink* *Bonk her in the head*

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A 36 year old virgin????? Are you serious????!!!!!

What is wrong with that.

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

As a substitute clinical instructor, I once had a 40-something nursing student ask me---in all seriousness---how I'd gotten used to seeing peoples' "privates".

Hmmm......let me see, I'd been a mother for 18 years, a wife for twenty, oh I don't know..........!

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Specializes in NICU, Infection Control.

When I was a student rotating in L&D, if there were no pts, they'd put the students to work anyway they could, usually cleaning things or straightening cupboards. I spent one morning cleaning the little beads they used to make baby name bracelets with rubbing alcohol. By lunchtime, I was very, very dizzy!!

And in these "olden days", there was a manuever used for breech babies called "version": the OB reached up, grabbed the baby's legs and hauled him or her out. They had these really long gloves for this purpose, called (duh) version gloves. Only the ones I found in the cupboard were labeled, "virgin gloves".

Hmmm.

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Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.
As a substitute clinical instructor, I once had a 40-something nursing student ask me---in all seriousness---how I'd gotten used to seeing peoples' "privates".

Hmmm......let me see, I'd been a mother for 18 years, a wife for twenty, oh I don't know..........!

I can't remember where I read this (maybe on AN???;)) but I once read a story of a 50ish nurse helping a early-20s-ish male pt with his bath. He was a little embarrassed to have her see him naked, to which she responded, "I've raised five boys. If you have something I haven't seen already, I'd pay you to let me see it." :icon_roll

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I had a nursing student following me when one of my patients started to decompensate--I told the student, "OK, we'll need a blood gas kit--they're in the clean utility on the third shelf." She said OK and went off to get it. A minute or two later the NA came and told me that my student was in the clean utility, busy looking for a blood gasket.

ROFL, I love this.

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Specializes in Trauma, Teaching.
He was a little embarrassed to have her see him naked, to which she responded, "I've raised five boys. If you have something I haven't seen already, I'd pay you to let me see it." :icon_roll

I once told a fellow there wasn't an orifice in the human body I hadn't stuck a tube in.:p

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Specializes in critical care.

My friend in nursing school came running out of a room, very serious, saying "There's something wrong with him-down there!" I went to have a look. Turns out he wasn't circumsised and she hadn't ever seen that before.:lol2:

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Originally Posted by mjlrn97 viewpost.gif

As a substitute clinical instructor, I once had a 40-something nursing student ask me---in all seriousness---how I'd gotten used to seeing peoples' "privates".

Hmmm......let me see, I'd been a mother for 18 years, a wife for twenty, oh I don't know..........!

I can't remember where I read this (maybe on AN???;)) but I once read a story of a 50ish helping a early-20s-ish male pt with his bath. He was a little embarrassed to have her see him naked, to which she responded, "I've raised five boys. If you have something I haven't seen already, I'd pay you to let me see it." :icon_roll

That kind of response may work at times, and if it does, that's fine. When you say something like that, though, you've switched the focus from the patient to you. It becomes about your feelings, not the patients. If a patient is uncomfortable and either expresses those feelings verbally or with body language, perhaps you should acknowledge the patient's feelings. A remark like the one above is one way caregivers control patients. Comments like "We're all professionals here," do that, too. They transfer the the focus. Of course you're all professionals. The patient knows that. Of course you've see naked bodies before. Of course you've done this task a thousand times. But the patient hasn't had it done to him or her a thousand times. If a same gender caregive is available, make the offer if necessary. If not, acknowledge the patient's feelings and use your best communication skills to establish trust.

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I was watching "A Baby Story" on TLC and the soon to be father was on the phone talking with his parents about how the delivery went. Baby had a BM during delivery and the dad stated it like this... "The baby went to the restroom during delivery!!"

Too funny!

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Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.
That kind of response may work at times, and if it does, that's fine. When you say something like that, though, you've switched the focus from the patient to you. It becomes about your feelings, not the patients. If a patient is uncomfortable and either expresses those feelings verbally or with body language, perhaps you should acknowledge the patient's feelings. A remark like the one above is one way caregivers control patients. Comments like "We're all professionals here," do that, too. They transfer the the focus. Of course you're all professionals. The patient knows that. Of course you've see naked bodies before. Of course you've done this task a thousand times. But the patient hasn't had it done to him or her a thousand times. If a same gender caregive is available, make the offer if necessary. If not, acknowledge the patient's feelings and use your best communication skills to establish trust.

Please keep in mind this is a humor thread, used for levity and not for seriousness. I think it's safe to say that the whopping majority of nurses here and elsewhere fully understand and respect our patients' feelings in this regard. And we understand that those feelings of nervousness or embarrassment are perfectly normal.

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Originally Posted by MedEthicsResearcher viewpost.gif

That kind of response may work at times, and if it does, that's fine. When you say something like that, though, you've switched the focus from the patient to you. It becomes about your feelings, not the patients. If a patient is uncomfortable and either expresses those feelings verbally or with body language, perhaps you should acknowledge the patient's feelings. A remark like the one above is one way caregivers control patients. Comments like "We're all professionals here," do that, too. They transfer the the focus. Of course you're all professionals. The patient knows that. Of course you've see naked bodies before. Of course you've done this task a thousand times. But the patient hasn't had it done to him or her a thousand times. If a same gender caregive is available, make the offer if necessary. If not, acknowledge the patient's feelings and use your best communication skills to establish trust.

Please keep in mind this is a humor thread, used for levity and not for seriousness. I think it's safe to say that the whopping majority of nurses here and elsewhere fully understand and respect our patients' feelings in this regard. And we understand that those feelings of nervousness or embarrassment are perfectly normal.

Point taken. This isn't the thread for this discussion. And I agree that most nurses understand and respect patient feelings. But consider that what a professional considers levity may not be funny to the client. And I could be wrong, but the tone I read in your response suggests you don't think this is really an issue. A significant amount of research out there says it is an issue. And then there's the issue of the feelings of nervousness or embarrassment of the nurse and how that affects the patient. It's a complex topic. But you're right. This discussion doesn't belong on this thread so I'll stop here.

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Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.
Originally Posted by MedEthicsResearcher viewpost.gif

That kind of response may work at times, and if it does, that's fine. When you say something like that, though, you've switched the focus from the patient to you. It becomes about your feelings, not the patients. If a patient is uncomfortable and either expresses those feelings verbally or with body language, perhaps you should acknowledge the patient's feelings. A remark like the one above is one way caregivers control patients. Comments like "We're all professionals here," do that, too. They transfer the the focus. Of course you're all professionals. The patient knows that. Of course you've see naked bodies before. Of course you've done this task a thousand times. But the patient hasn't had it done to him or her a thousand times. If a same gender caregive is available, make the offer if necessary. If not, acknowledge the patient's feelings and use your best communication skills to establish trust.

Please keep in mind this is a humor thread, used for levity and not for seriousness. I think it's safe to say that the whopping majority of nurses here and elsewhere fully understand and respect our patients' feelings in this regard. And we understand that those feelings of nervousness or embarrassment are perfectly normal.

Point taken. This isn't the thread for this discussion. And I agree that most nurses understand and respect patient feelings. But consider that what a professional considers levity may not be funny to the client. And I could be wrong, but the tone I read in your response suggests you don't think this is really an issue. A significant amount of research out there says it is an issue. And then there's the issue of the feelings of nervousness or embarrassment of the nurse and how that affects the patient. It's a complex topic. But you're right. This discussion doesn't belong on this thread so I'll stop here.

I didn't say it's not an issue; I said it's not something being discussed here at the moment. That's all.

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