Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart? - page 63

To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply Darwin Consult and was signed by the... Read More

  1. by   nite_shift_4_life
    saw this last night at work "milk and molasses enema per rectum"....ummm well duh!!
  2. by   GadgetRN71
    Quote from JRN26
    On elderly female patient's transfer orders to care facility "Patient may go to the craft store". Cracked me up!
    That's funny but kind of sweet too. I'm glad this doctor realized that the patients hobbies were important to her and that he/ she wasn't just treating a body, but a person.
  3. by   DixieRedHead
    You know foley catheter to beside drainage always cracks me up. As opposed to what, Suction?
  4. by   jmdRN
    in my cardiac patient's chart:

    fu ck TNT

    (I think the resident forgot a slash in there somewhere when he asked for the cardiac enzyme folow-up)
  5. by   maelstrom143
    DC ER orders:
    "Instruct the patient that if he does not take antibiotics this time he will probably die."
    This regarding a FF who had come in for right lower lobe pneumonia, d/c'd w/abt po and failed to fill prescription so now had worsened bilateral pneumonia.
  6. by   Cuddleswithpuddles
    Quote from carolmaccas66
    I would refuse to massage anyone's scrotum as a female nurse. I don't think things like this are appropriate at all.
    Let the doctors do it if they want it done.
    If the patient has hands, he can massage his scrotum himself.

    As nurses, we must preserve the patient's own dignity and strength.

    And ball-rubbin' ability.

    I'm sure Florence wrote that somewhere.
  7. by   Cuddleswithpuddles
    Quote from Vikingkitten
    Had something similar at Children's : anything removed during a surgical procedure HAS to be sent to Pathology for "proper" evaluation/examination (hospital policy). So, one day in ENT, little "Johnny" comes in with a part of a crayon shoved so deep in his ear, the ENT had to remmove it surgically.
    We framed the Report(from a Pathologist with an obvious sense of humor)with the name and pt. info blacked out in deference to HIPPA......................."Normal Crayon"!
    This was also the policy in the hospital I had an ER rotation in. Doc pulled out a dildo out of a man's rectum, placed it into a sterile tub and sent it to pathology. The thing took C batteries. I would have loved to read that pathology report.
  8. by   KentechRN
    This was in the MAR: Ice chips STAT!. Pharmacy never did verify that one.
  9. by   elthia
    We had a pt who was NPO except for ice...pt c/o he wasn't getting ice as often as he wanted. There was an order. Pt may have 30cc ice q1 hour. So every hour we went into the pt's room and gave him a pill cup of ice.
  10. by   talaxandra
    I had a frequent flier with DKA in once, who complained to the (cabbage-green) resident that the nurses weren't letting her have sips of water.
    He looked at me as though I was a monster, and said authoritively, "She can have sips of water, as documented in the unit notes!"
    I turned to the patient and said, "Jane, did you tell the doctor that you tried to drink your soapy washbowl water until you vomited?"
    Doc looked at her, looked at me, looked at her, said "Whatever the nurses say goes" and left the room
  11. by   Seohyun
    Quote from talaxandra
    I had a frequent flier with DKA in once, who complained to the (cabbage-green) resident that the nurses weren't letting her have sips of water.
    He looked at me as though I was a monster, and said authoritively, "She can have sips of water, as documented in the unit notes!"
    I turned to the patient and said, "Jane, did you tell the doctor that you tried to drink your soapy washbowl water until you vomited?"
    Doc looked at her, looked at me, looked at her, said "Whatever the nurses say goes" and left the room
    BWHAHAHAAHA!!!*wine
  12. by   fantasyworld
    Transcribed in progress note....
    "fireballs of the eucharist" (fibroids of the uterus)
    "screaming mighty jesus" (fibromeningitis)
    Last edit by fantasyworld on Dec 1, '11
  13. by   systoly
    Quote from carolmaccas66
    I would refuse to massage anyone's scrotum as a female nurse. I don't think things like this are appropriate at all.
    Let the doctors do it if they want it done.
    Thanks a lot carolmaccas66, what makes you think I wanna do it?
    On second thought, let me explain tapotement to the patient, we'll get that order changed.

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