I have posted on this website several times (before, during, and after nursing school
). You all have been wonderful with quick and excellent advice. However at this point I must be real.... I HATE NURSING. I have not even been in the field a year yet... have had several jobs and have not finished orientation yet for any of them.
As a grad nurse, and as the few weeks of working as a new RN, if I worked 5 days a week I came home crying 4 of those days. I have been treated for depression for the past 6 years... it was controlled before becoming a GN and now it is out of control. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, about nursing that I enjoy... please don't hate me for saying that because it is the truth. I've been on med/surg and surg floors and it is ALL the same... constant running around, getting yelled at by doctors, getting yelled at by patients, no time to eat or use the bathroom, exposure to HIV, smells out of this world... but mostly what bothers me is the constant running around and never having a grip on anything.
Nursing was never my choice of a career... indeed I love learning and reading about medical/biological stuff and diseases but as a new nurse THIS was rarely tested, but what WAS tested was how many different directions I could be pulled in without cracking. And I have had several breakdowns... thus what they say, "God will never put on you what you can't take..." is totally false for me, sorry if this offends anyone.
To add insult to injury, I started seeking work outside of nursing, something calmer, and low and behold once they find out I WAS working as an RN I'm assaulted with a barage of questions, skeptical looks, and NEVER getting the position. People attack me and say, "With THAT good of a pay check, what was wrong with you?" And I keep telling people that you could be making $200.00/hr but when you're miserable and crying at work and crying at home it is totally not worth it.
At this point I can't get a job in any other field (stores in the mall will not even hire me) and I know I must return to the field I despise, a field that gives me grief, that if I know I must work the next day I spend the entire present day dreading tomorrow. I have no job and no health insurance.
I don't smile anymore, I don't laugh, I can't carry on a decent conversation... I feel trapped because I have not been able to gain employment in anything. Clinics and doctor's office are also out of reach because they "want 2-5 years of nursing experience" which always means "hospital floor" experience... that which I hate.
For those of you who have (or know of someone who has) left nursing to pursue another field, HOW in the world did you do it?