I have posted on this website several times (before, during, and after nursing school). You all have been wonderful with quick and excellent advice. However at this point I must be real.... I HATE NURSING. I have not even been in the field a year yet... have had several jobs and have not finished orientation yet for any of them.
As a grad nurse, and as the few weeks of working as a new RN, if I worked 5 days a week I came home crying 4 of those days. I have been treated for depression for the past 6 years... it was controlled before becoming a GN and now it is out of control. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, about nursing that I enjoy... please don't hate me for saying that because it is the truth. I've been on med/surg and surg floors and it is ALL the same... constant running around, getting yelled at by doctors, getting yelled at by patients, no time to eat or use the bathroom, exposure to HIV, smells out of this world... but mostly what bothers me is the constant running around and never having a grip on anything.
Nursing was never my choice of a career... indeed I love learning and reading about medical/biological stuff and diseases but as a new nurse THIS was rarely tested, but what WAS tested was how many different directions I could be pulled in without cracking. And I have had several breakdowns... thus what they say, "God will never put on you what you can't take..." is totally false for me, sorry if this offends anyone.
To add insult to injury, I started seeking work outside of nursing, something calmer, and low and behold once they find out I WAS working as an RN I'm assaulted with a barage of questions, skeptical looks, and NEVER getting the position. People attack me and say, "With THAT good of a pay check, what was wrong with you?" And I keep telling people that you could be making $200.00/hr but when you're miserable and crying at work and crying at home it is totally not worth it.
At this point I can't get a job in any other field (stores in the mall will not even hire me) and I know I must return to the field I despise, a field that gives me grief, that if I know I must work the next day I spend the entire present day dreading tomorrow. I have no job and no health insurance.
I don't smile anymore, I don't laugh, I can't carry on a decent conversation... I feel trapped because I have not been able to gain employment in anything. Clinics and doctor's office are also out of reach because they "want 2-5 years of nursing experience" which always means "hospital floor" experience... that which I hate.
For those of you who have (or know of someone who has) left nursing to pursue another field, HOW in the world did you do it?
Went to a free clinic today and got a month's supply of meds. The whole process was not as bad as I thought it would be.
Still in a dire unemployed mess but get mini panic attacks when I think about returning to the hospital floor (pretty much the only option for someone like me with less than 1 year's experience and never completing orientation).
Tomorrow I'm going back out on the job hunt,this time to apply for more jobs in the mall. It is true some family members may be surprised/dissapointed in my decision but NONE of them have ever experienced nursing, and if I hear another "but the money is so good in nursing!" argument I think I may scream bloody murder.
Any other tips for leaving nursing? Thanks a bunch :wink2:
My reply to those who say,"but the money is so good in nursing!" would be I'm sure you want someone taking care of you who's in this field because the money is so good! Money doesn't make you enjoy this profession or help you to have that true compassion for human kind you must have to survive in this field. Good luck to you. I think you're making a good decision by looking elsewhere for employment. It's not fair for you to be miserable or to the patient who can sense that your heart is not in it.
mtngrl- good for you (and your sister)! I hope the real estate works out.
jjjoy- at least now I know I'm not crazy, it IS harder to get mall/retail jobs "post-nursing" career
RS0302- a month huh? At least you found out sooner than the rest of us. My mother is also going through a "but with nursing you can REALLY support yourself!" phase as well.
My mood is becoming a bit more stable.
Searched for more mall jobs today and actually have an interview tomorrow! I don't know how to feel. Not to put anyone down or anything, but other applicants for these mall jobs are just so DIFFERENT from me (again no offense because I used to work at a mall in my early college years)- some were younger than me, some were popping bubble gum, some (old and young) had so much lip gloss and make-up on you'd think they were ready for some cover shot in a raunchy men's magazine, but in general they all looked...... happy..... they were actually smiling and I thought to myself, "Can I go back to my early college years at the mall with the big grin and 'Hello, welcome to such-and-such store would you like to try that in an extra large... oh and here are some great earrings to match!'" Do you know what I mean?
Now I'm wondering if working on an critical care unit with 2-3 critical patients (as oppose to 6 patients day shift, 11 night shift in med/surg) would be any different for me? Ofcourse it is stressful (like all nursing) but I would have a chance to REALLY get to know the patient. Whatever that unit is I could really hone and specialize my skills according to the type of patients seen. I don't know, what do you all think?
I agree that you shouldn't try another hospital job until you get your depression stabilized. I am not in your shoes so all I can do is tell you what I would do. The first year of nursing is a scary thing. I think its a continuation of nursing school only about 1000 times more intense. I didn't want to do med/surg because that is where the most burnout occurs, plus I think its horrible how they are treated on the floor. I would not want to risk my license taking care of all those patients. I would try another specialty where you have fewer patients or take a per diem job or part time, if possible. But like I said, I enjoy nursing so I can't really sit here and preach to you if you truly hate it.You know yourself the best-if taking a mall job for a while will help you decompress and find out what you really want, then go for it. Good Luck.
Specializes in primary care, pediatrics, OB/GYN, NICU.
Perhaps you would do better working in a not for profit community health clinic,or Planned Parenthood office? They can't pay well but would probably very much appreciate your nursing background. Maybe a private duty position? Another idea might be to look into applying as a medical case manager for an insurance company? It would involve research and investigating cases and probably travel as well. Google it and see what you find. If you are in a place where you cannot work at all at this time because your mental state is still too fragile, perhaps your MD will put you on medical leave for a period of time. Good luck and God bless.
Short answer that works re need for change in less than 6 months: "Floor nursing is not for me." Even lay people understand this. Do not be more specific except to your counselor.
While you may be concerned with finding any paying job, don't forget to look at other things besides mall/retail. Check hospital listings for non-clinical jobs (human resources, quality assurance department etc.) Check on-line job postins (eg Monster) and search broadly using health terms or other areas you might be interested in or where your background might be useful.
My heart goes out to you -- I know exactly how you feel. Since I've been working nights I have gotten sick (can't sleep more than 3 - 4 hours a day) and tomorrow I'm going to the doctor. Whatever I have is nasty and just seems to go on and on and on. It has been going around at work (tons of people calling in sick), but I too am depressed and will talk to my doctor tomorrow about getting an antidepressant.
I don't think working in a hospital may be the right place for me either. Unfortunately I think many nursing schools program us to work in the hospital setting. At our school the message was (especially among peers) if you don't work at a hospital and choose for example, to be employed at a nursing home you obviously just can't cut it as a nurse.
I hope you don't throw in the towel altogether (unless you absolutely despise the thought of any type of nursing). There are SO many opportunities for us as RN's even outside of the hospital setting. Have you thought about home health? Someone mentioned research in a previous post -- have you thought of doing something like that?
Working on the floor is ten times more difficult than being in nursing school. I find I'm so busy trying to keep up with the all too many tasks and demands that critical thinking has to be put on hold. Yikes!
Whatever you do don't ever feel like you are a failure at nursing -- I don't think any of us really understood what we were in for once we passed the NCLEX and took that first job in the hospital. Personally I think floor nursing sets you up for failure when the expectation is that you will care for all too many patients and still remain safe. Very scarey.
You WILL find your niche in life and always always always remember there is only one you and you are very special. What we do for employment does not define who we are. You deserve happiness so keep your chin up and explore new open doors -- even if they are still in the nursing field...or not...!
The most important thing is to get yourself on the right track. Stay on your meds even though you start feeling better. I went through the nervous breakdown scenario, got a job for a while doing hard physical work with very little responsibilty. After almost a year I started looking into nursing jobs again, but was very picky about the places I applied. I finally found a place that had decent patient/staff ratios, fairly low acuities and I am working less than full-time. It has been good to exerience success. There are a lot of niches in nursing that might fit your interests better, but mainly start out with a managable work load with good resources. Good luck!!
Such good advice, here. Aren't nurses great people? Let's all try to remember that the next time someone from TPTB trys to disrespect or give us attitude. And also, the next time a co-worker falls short of our expectations. Here's the mantra: "We're all well-meaning, intelligent people who work harder for our 'good pay' than most folks ever dream of". OP, as was written before, first and foremost, get healthy. Be as patient w/yourself as you would be w/a good friend. There is hope. You will get better. Your life will not always look this bleak.
Here's a thought:
Have you considered psych nursing?
There can be as much stress (of a unique flavor) on a psych floor as there is on a med/surg floor. But, you can bring your pt's a unique perspective, b/c not everyone who has worked in psych has suffered from a major psychiatric illness. As a psych nurse, sometimes I wish that was a prereq for employment!
These are pt's that need a LOT of patience and understanding and yes, you will be pulled in a lot of different directions. You will also deal w/medical illnesses, but, maybe this might be your thing.
You've lost faith in the adage that God doesn't give you anything you can't handle? I disagree. You're still breathing aren't you?
He may not want you to dedicate your life to med/sug nursing on a hospital floor, but maybe there were a lot of things you were sent there to learn.
my aunt went back to school and got a degree in education. she is teaching now. go back to school pt until u finish. become a school nurse or a home health nurse. however, please get help for the depression first.
What was your first choice of career? If you can't go back and get another degree, perhaps you can use the nursing background for a different career with less stress. Medical transcription, medical billing, case manager or insurance companies, home health, teaching in high schools - there is such a shortage of science teachers that if you have a nursing degree they will let you teach in some states. You might want to be a unit manager in a nursing home, do physicals for insurance companies. Good luck !!!
I am 30 and currently not working at the moment. I was seriously considering nursing because of the employment prospects, but get a lump in the pit of my stomach when I think of it as well, and all the difficult aspects of the role. My mother is a nurse and she tells me that it is not pretty.
I have decided that I do not want to do nursing, and will probably specialise in another area in my post grad studies. Your honest comments have helped and at least I will not waste any more time professionally studying a career that I think I just cannot do. Thanks for your posts, they have steered me in what I think is the right direction. I hope you all find what you are looking for, sometimes the hurdles seem insurmountable but all we have a choice to do is to move on.
kit3375
26 Posts
My reply to those who say,"but the money is so good in nursing!" would be I'm sure you want someone taking care of you who's in this field because the money is so good! Money doesn't make you enjoy this profession or help you to have that true compassion for human kind you must have to survive in this field. Good luck to you. I think you're making a good decision by looking elsewhere for employment. It's not fair for you to be miserable or to the patient who can sense that your heart is not in it.