Literally no one else in my life can empathize with me lately, and this is just something I need to get out of my system so I can go back to obsessively applying for jobs. My license expires for the first time at the end of this month and, as a May 2013 grad, I have yet to actually use it. So yay for paying for this license that so far has been collecting dust, because I'm so poor I can't afford a frame for it!
I'm so sick of everything related to nursing.
I am usually a very appreciative person and I am always so grateful when anyone helps me because I hate asking for help, but right now I don't want it. Stop sending me emails of nursing jobs throughout the state. Stop asking if I've applied to XYZ Hospital or if I ever considered home health or hey, have I ever heard of these New Grad programss? Stop telling me that you heard about this staffing agency or that you found out about your current job through CareerBuilder/ Monster. Yes I saw that open position, yes I have applied at every single hospital in this state numerous times, yes I've heard of and applied to all the new grad programs, no I can't work for a staffing agency because they want 18 years of experience, and yes my resume is on CareerBuilder and Monster and LinkedIn and Indeed and this sketchy healthcare page that may or may not be legit. Stop trying to help me because all you are doing is making me feel like you think I'm stupid
But then I feel guilty for getting mad at people for trying to help. Like yes, I know you have my best interests in mind, I know you want me to get a job, I know you want to help. But you saying all these things to me somehow computes in my frustrated mind as you thinking that I'm just lounging on the couch watching Supernatural all day. I'm working 45 hours a week at a job that I dislike / on the verge of hate for next to no money that is a 45 minute drive, I'm spending every waking moment scouring the internet for jobs and nursing opportunities, and I'm doing "volunteer" work that makes me feel like a douchebag 8 hours a week. Yes I am trying extremely hard to get a job
Part of me wants to be mad at the health care industry and experienced nurses but I'm smart enough to know that this anger would be misplaced and that it's neither of these things' fault. I AM angry with my college and my nursing professors for spreading the lie about the nursing shortage and reassuring me that I would get a job right out of school, but no one made me go to nursing school, and people shouldn't have to retire just for me to get a job. It's just - the whole process of applying to jobs is demeaning and frustrating, and who am I supposed to aim all of these negative feelings towards? There's no one to really blame, so it just festers.
I've also never felt this desperate
before. I would do almost anything
for a nursing job right now! I would travel any distance, move to any state, work on any floor during any shift, and I would do it for minimum wage. I just don't understand. I have CNA experience. I've been at my current job for 8 years (yay longevity and dedication etc etc) and I'm an assistant manager. I had great grades. I have volunteer stuff. I have wonderful references. I was an athlete and a member of Sigma Theta Tau, I did a preceptorship. I've written hundreds of cover letters tailored to each job and hospital. I've applied to jobs in several different states.
Ugh. Okay. Rant over. I feel better for having written this down. Back to the job search!