Atheism in nursing

MunoRN, RN · Jan 12, 2014

I would try not to take it personally. There are all types of intolerant people, and surprisingly those who claim to be followers of the teachings of Christ can be just as intolerant (if not more) as anyone else. Turn the other cheek.

Usually we accommodate this as reasonably as possible, within reason. I worked in a facility once that had a community of people who, as a part of their religious beliefs, believed strongly that the Pope was the antichrist and that all Catholics were devil worshipers, and everyone other those who shared their beliefs weren't much better. We had at least a couple of instances where families insisted that only those who shared their specific beliefs, Doctors, Nurses, everyone, should be caring for their family member which just wasn't possible. This resulting in families actively obstructing care and as a result had to physically ban some family members from the premises. So if all that happens is that they get a different Nurse, just remember it could be much uglier than that.

PurpleLover · Jan 12, 2014

I would have just pretended to pray. I am from the south, where Jesus is always incorporated. So I have learned to just fake it.

I am so sorry they made you feel awkward.

Baubo516, RN · Jan 12, 2014

I'm still in nursing school, and we talk a lot about respecting the patient's beliefs and doing things that are therapeutic for the patient. In a way, I think of it like customer service - I am not there to do what makes me comfortable, but what makes the patient comfortable. To be fair, I should disclose that I do believe in God, so to participate in any form of prayer would not bother me. I am a Catholic, but I would be comfortable holding hands with a family and being silent during almost any type of prayer, even if I don't believe in what they do (Native American spirituality, voodoo, santeria, Islam, etc.)

Having said that, if the family was praying to Satan, I would politely decline to participate. I feel strongly enough about that to take a stand on it. If they were offended, I would not have a problem with them seeking another caregiver. To me it would be similar to people who only want female caregivers, or only male caregivers. As long as it does not hurt anyone, I feel we should do what we can to make the patient comfortable.

I think some people who want to pray may be offended if someone wants to continue to work while they do it - they may interpret it as disrespectful. So, if you are not comfortable just holding their hand in silence, or standing in silence, I would leave the room until they are done. It is up to you to decide how much you are comfortable or not comfortable participating. I would not feel like a family was forcing their beliefs on me if they invited me to participate in a ritual I was not familiar with - I would feel like they were trying to include me. But we all have limits to what we are comfortable with!

I mean this post to be respectful of your point of view - hope it reads that way. Interesting topic!

pugmom79 · Jan 12, 2014

Thanks for the insight. I understand that faith is important and I do ask my patients those questions- a chaplain etc. but just as I would never force a pt to participate in atheist ceremonies( if they existed) I would like to be extended the same privilege.

If they want a new nurse that's fine. Thanks for helping me not take it personally. That's crazy about the family members you death with.

pugmom79 · Jan 12, 2014

Oh and I will stand in silence in the room but I won't participate so I don't hold hands in that instance. I was in the room taking care if the pt and then standing by silently. But it wasn't enough for this one fam and that's when I had to excuse myself.

mclennan, BSN, RN · Jan 12, 2014

Lifelong atheist here and RN, I put my patient's and their family's needs ahead of my own, always. If it is important to THEM that I join their prayer circle or participate is something religious/ceremonial, it's not gonna kill me or "turn" me to join in, pretend to pray, and just play along for 5 minutes. If it brings them comfort, keeps the peace, and soothes the patient, GREAT. That's my JOB. I can close my eyes and hold their hands and think about my grocery shopping list. Or meditate. Or be thankful I get 5 minutes to stop and breathe deeply on my busy shift. Sometimes (GASP) I even tell them I am honored they asked me to be included. Come on, don't make a bad impression of us atheists, we have a rough enough time as it is. Be the mature, enlightened, polite atheist and put your patients first.

pugmom79 · Jan 12, 2014

I don't think I am making a bad reflection on atheists. I get involved, I say I am honored as well for them thinking of me,which I am. It shows I have done my job well that families want me included. I just do believe there are boundaries that I have (and ever nurse should) that you may not cross. I will put my patients needs first, but I also feel it is hunting and not sincere to "pretend" to pray. I always let my pt know they are in my thoughts etc. I can honor them in a diff way. I feel I have been nothing but respectful of a sensitive issue for everyone involved. I know I am not a bad reflection of atheism,despite whAt you may think. I am awarded( for lack if a better word) on my floor for being compassionate more than any one else. At the end if the day showing compassion is important and I am glad I have that quality.

CarryThatWeight, BSN · Jan 12, 2014

Pugmom79, I am a Christian, but I think you were very appropriate and respectful. I think you did the right thing by stating your boundary and offering to step out, rather than participate in something you don't believe in. You feel that would be disingenuous, and I agree with you. The family was inappropriate to push it that far, in my opinion, and to disregard the boundary you set. You were absolutely not causing harm by declining to participate in prayer. If they want to have another nurse care for their family member, so be it, but I can't see this incident causing trouble for you with HR or your manager. Our country was founded on the principle of freedom... no job can FORCE you to participate in a religious ritual with your patients. Carry on. You handled the situation perfectly, in my opinion.

freedm · Jan 13, 2014

I hear you. The Son of a Son of a Missionary since 1915. At 2 years old I went to India, that was '58. Grew up in a missionary school, went thru the whole trauma. Walking into a church makes me physically nauseated.

Having said that....if I am forced into this position I would do what Don Juan does. I would find a place of security on my body and place my attention there while in this experience. ie: I would watch the experience from 'above' my right shoulder, not from my head. Remove my ego personality from it.

If you have been an RN for any amount of time, you have a gift. If you have survived it, you have the gift to remove yourself from the situation. Understand that and you can work as an RN forever.

Sit back and say OMmmmmmmm....

TriciaJ, RN · Jan 13, 2014

I agree with CarryThatWeight. You handled the situation PERFECTLY. You were right not to fake it and be dishonest. Frankly, I think those people were being kooks. You were being respectful and in no way harming the patient. Are they so shaky in their own beliefs that they can't handle it if someone doesn't jump on their bandwagon? Don't second-guess yourself. You were right on.

That Guy, BSN, RN, EMT-B · Jan 13, 2014

From a fellow non-believer, if it bothers them that much then let someone else deal with it. I can fake it with the best (I never do though), but if their convictions present that much of an issue, let it ride, and move on to the next one.