Favorite Nursing Sayings, Quotes, Jokes.....

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    Nurses, what are your favorite nursing sayings, quotes, jokes? We are looking to make more fun images to share on our facebook pages.......Nurses Rock, allnurses.com, and Nursing Students. We'd love to hear your ideas.

    If you have not visited our facebook pages, you might want to check them out.


    Thanks and rock on!
    Esme12, somenurse, john doe, and 1 other like this.
  2. 12 Comments so far...

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    My colleagues and I are always joking about pt/cg expectations. We work in hospice so we come across a lot of families where the pt has received all the treatment they can get and they are still dying, but the family (usually the pt is tired of the "treatment" at that point anyway and just wants to die peacefully) are still wanting a miracle. So we kid (amongst ourselves) that we left our "magic wand" in the car or lost it, etc. We love our patients and families, but unreasonable expectations are fairly frequent so we educate, educate, educate! Sometimes we even have to educate other nurses and doctors!
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    Well, this isn't really a saying,
    but, i am named Jean, was a common name amongst my age group.

    I had 2 other Jeans that i worked with, and we used to kid around, "I'll be dominant gene, you can be recessive." on and on. Lotta 'jean' jokes all day.


    Once, me and another named Jean, were pulling up some guy who had slid down in his bed. He was very friendly guy, asked the one nurse, "What's your name?" She smiled and replied, "Jean".
    He turned to me, and asked same thing, i smiled and replied "Jean".

    He chuckled,
    and i said to him, "Sir, think of alllll the times you have pulled up a pair of jeans, and now, here you are, being pulled UP by a pair of Jeans!!"


    we thought it was hilarious at the time!!
    silverbat, SleeepyRN, friendlyjane, and 20 others like this.
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    When pts come into the office, especially new pts, and I'm attempting to get their H&P and med history, I'll say to my coworkers "Let me dust off my crystal ball" because I'm not psychic. I get so tired of pts taking "the little white pill for my blood pressure, and I've got my water pill" and our established pts saying "you tell me, you've got my chart." I like to tell the pts that their chart isn't in the ER and they need to know what they're taking--type up a list and keep it in your wallet. I also had a pt who did not like me (I mispronounced her name the first time I said it--it's got more letters in it than the alphabet) and would refuse me to do her shot and demand another nurse. I'd tell my coworkers that "the president of my fan club" was waiting on someone else.
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    Have a little fun with your name,try introducing yourself as Uglesha and watch the pt try to keep a straight face. Works like a charm!
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    If at first you don't succeed, I don't want to be your first patient

    When someone says, "Are you a Male Nurse?" Pull front of pants out, look down, and then surprised say,"Wow, I am." or, "Yeah, last time I checked." My favorite, "No, the guy who was wearing these scrubs 'was,' but I'm from the Psych Unit, my name is Jack."

    "No Boston, it would be unethical to put a 10 minute "Lock-out" on Ms. does Call Button!"

    "Can I take Christmas off?"

    MD: "Nurse! Wait!...Why is a rectal thermometer above your ear!"
    Nurse: "CRUD! Now I remember where my pen is!"

    "I don't need a beer Nurse Sue! I said a 'Butt Light!"

    Two Psych patients were sitting on a park bench when a crow pooped down on them from a tree. The Nurse fearful they would freak-out said,"I'll be right back with tissue!" Patient one: That's sweet of her, but I hope she doesn't get hurt climbing the tree.
    Patient two: She's a nut! That bird will be halfway out of town when she gets back!

    No, this 'pain killer' shouldn't hurt your mother-in-law, but it will make her easier to tolerate
    Last edit by BostonTerrierLoverRN on Dec 7, '12
    KayRN1, Orca, martinalpn, and 4 others like this.
  8. 4
    Some quotes:

    "To do what nobody else will do, in a way that nobody else can do, in spite of all we go through; is to be a nurse." -unknown

    "To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - that is to have succeeded." -Ralph Waldo Emmerson

    and Confucius say: man who want pretty nurse, must be patient.

    Orca, echoRNC711, somenurse, and 1 other like this.
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    "He who wants everything, ends up with nothing." - Brazilian Proverb

    "He who directs one eye on the past, and one eye on the future, will be blinded in the present." - Author Unknown

    "Nothing's better than the nurse with the purse." - Unknown

    "Miracles need wings to fly." - Title of an R&B song

    "Fear not those who argue but those who dodge." - Marie Ebner von Eschenbach

    "An unemployed person who declines a legitimate interview is implying that he is willing to remain unemployed." - TheCommuter.
    martinalpn and somenurse like this.
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    I found a plaque with the Nurse's Ten Commandments on it
    1. Thou shalt administer daily doses of compassion. 2. Thou shalt practice patience with thy patients. 3. Thou shalt remember that laughter is the best medicine. 4. Thou shalt honor thy patient's body, mind and spirit. 5.Thou shalt avoid burnout by taking good care of thyself. 6. Thou shalt check thy vital signs - a kind heart and cheerful smile. 7. Thou shalt not covet thy fellow nurse's shift 8. Thou shalt always strive to "make it all better." 9. Thou shalt follow the RX for stress RX doctors orders prayer morning, noon and night. 10. Thou shalt place thy patients in the care of the Divine Healer.
    Never say I don't know let me get that information for you.
  11. 1
    "Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine." - Lord Byron
    Last edit by LaRoseRN on Dec 8, '12
    echoRNC711 likes this.


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