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  1. somenurse

    The Humorous Nurse Speaks

    another time, on Cape Cod, i'd misunderstood a patient saying he wanted "shorts" (boxer underwear), due to his New England accent, i was thinking he was talking about "shots" (injections). He said, he needed some more shorts, and hopes his family comes soon. I think he said "shots" not shorts, see? I became concerned, "Your family is bringing you shots?" Patient, "Oh, i hope so! I feel terrible and need some more shorts." "Well, you should not be taking any medicine whatsoever, from your family, only what we nurses bring in. Why do you feel terrible, what is wrong?" "I told you, i need some shorts! I am out of shorts now. My family isn't bringing in pills, they are bringing me shorts. But, now i need more shorts. I don't like these gowns, they make me nervous, but, if i have my shorts, i am fine." "What kind of shots has your family been bringing you?" "Why does that matter?!" AT THIS POINT, my patient decides i am either very dumb, or very nosey. on and on, till finally, i realize, he is saying shoRts, only without the "R" rofl. Another time, i had never heard 'gowns' be called "johnny" the way they are called on Cape Cod, and when a patient asked for a clean johnny, i thought this must mean "bedpan", like "go to the john" kinda thing. i just washed out his bedpan very very well, and came back with his bedpan. Patient was baffled. Another chuckle once we sorted that one out, too.
  2. somenurse

    The Humorous Nurse Speaks

    One time, i worked in a hospital, very near the Mexican border, and i was ONLY nurse on entire unit, only person on entire unit, actually, who was not bilingual. so i began to try to learn Spanish. All my coworkers, all my patients, all my patient's families, all spoke in Spanish. We are receiving a post-op patient back to her room, and she is getting kinda pale as we transfer her from cart to bed, so i up her 02 and encourage her, in Spanish, to take a deep breath. Everyone stops and stares at me. Again, since patient is so so freshly post-anesthesia, and not breathing deeply enough yet, i again ask patient to take a DEEEeeep breath. Patient, still groggy, looks at me in confusion, and then, points at her nose. Everyone busts out laughing. Turns out, i'd been asking her, "Where do you breathe?" over and over. Ohh, i had a lotta moments like that one on that unit....ha ha, oh did i ever!!
  3. somenurse

    The Humorous Nurse Speaks

    You know how sometimes, when dealing with not so smart patients, they can report odd things. HOw sometimes, the patients self-diagnose, instead of telling you exactly what it was they felt? Well, one time, i was in a patients room, and he mentioned to me his kidneys moved. So to find out exactly what happened, i asked him "How do you know? I mean, what did it feel like ?" which, i expected some reply like, "My lower back had a painful spasm" or something, not realizing, to this man, that was his way of saying he'd urinated. Of course, the man was baffled at my question, "What do you mean, how do i know? What!?" and after a few seconds, i came to understand what HE meant by that expression, which i'd never heard before. how embarrassing, eh? lol.
  4. somenurse

    The Humorous Nurse Speaks

    oh dawag, i am wiping my eyes, priceless stuff. Once, working the triage desk in ER, a woman walked into the ER lobby, screamed, and an infant fell right out of her skirt, onto the floor, in a small puddle of blood. Very dramatic moment, and other patients in the lobby were as amazed as i was. A flurry of staff got her into wheelchair, i scooped up now-crying newborn into a towel, and after cursory exam in ER, were sent to L&D where they belonged. Later on, the L&D nurse calls down to ER to ask me what the newborns 1st apgar score was. I ask the doc, what apgar are we giving that newborn we just had? The doc, without missing a beat, replied, "Eleven....gets an extra point for bouncing!"
  5. somenurse

    10 Tips for Home Health Nursing

    I have done home health, of all kinds, hospice, home to home nursing care only visits, (dressings, lab draws, foleys, etc) and shift work, where i was in a home for an entire shift. Sometimes for peds, sometimes adults. I've also been an HH admissions nurse (harder work, imo, getting everything set up for brand new pts) Not nearly as much as the OP has, not at all, but, off/on through the years, i have done home health. loved it! Getting to know a patient and their family well, is such a plus. Having time to really do the things you want to, awesome. Autonomy, wonderful. Being creative, is a must now and then, loved that part, too. Lots of great things about HH. I have never ever felt afraid. I've been afraid more than once in a hospital, with some of the patients i've interacted with there, oh my yes! Yes i have felt a lil wave of fear now and then over someone's behavior. and i once had a brain-damaged pt grab my head and twist my neck. Ouch! I've also witnessed many a coworker take a punch or slap from some demented pt here or there. in a hospital. but in a home care setting, nope, hasn't happened to me, anyway, that i was afraid of the patient or of their family, either. I suppose, if i ever ever was justifiably afraid, i'd pull out my cell phone and dial 911 as i left the home, i guess, seems like that'd be what to do, but, never having experienced that, i don't know. Different people have different comfort levels, i once had a coworker in ICU who was so so easily terrified, (i do mean terrified) all the time, over what seemed to me to be nothing. Lots of people scared her. but, i kind of think that was just something odd about her.
  6. somenurse

    Need to update med knowledge base

    I have been out of practice for almost 5 years now. Prior to this, i had 30+ years of mostly hospital experience, usually as an acute care float between ER and ICU, or CCU. I used to be a lil walking PDR, but, those days are gone. I would like to bone up on the new meds, as well as learn what all new parameters, side effects, interactions, uses, etc, of meds i was familiar with, etc.(things change so fast) When i was active, every week, there'd be a new med, a new rule on an existing med, and it was kind of easy to absorb the new info at that rate. but Now i face five years worth of new drug info to catch up on. Has anyone heard of any 'refresher courses' specifically for new or latest meds? Has anyone heard of any websites or online courses for this type of learning need to become updated on currently popular meds? I am not planning to return to hospital nursing, probably will go for either ECF or home health or hospice nursing, but, i feel very uncomfortable with such a lack of knowledge on current meds. Any advice?? (wasn't exactly sure where to post this, but, it seemed to be a 'med' question?) THANK YOU FOR ANY ADVICE!!!
  7. somenurse

    10 Toughest Nursing Interview Questions (Part 3)

    Great set of articles, THANK YOU!! I sometimes struggle to find 1 or 2 valuable questions to ask the potential employer. I usually try to write up a short list of a few possible questions to ask, most of which do get answered during the interview, like typical nurse/patient ratio, for example. I know it is considered bad form to ask about pay during interviews, but, how about benefits? Is benefits an okay topic to ask about? Do you have any suggestions of things WE could or should be asking the interviewers? THANKS if you have suggestions, succeeding at interviews seems to be yet another topic that you are really well versed on, Commuter!!