SO mad...and not sure I should be. - page 3

by AngelfireRN

7,119 Views | 44 Comments

Please forgive the length...it's been a bad day. I work in a clinic that dispenses controlled substances. As such, we have various and sundry very stringent rules in place so as to prescribe as safely and therapeutically as... Read More


  1. 14
    Pro choice does not mean "pro choice as long as I agree with the circumstances." It is not black and white, we have to separate ourselves from other individuals choices. This can also include a 102 year old CHF patient being a full code because the family cannot let go, or the patient cannot let go. It is not our job to interject our own feelings into the conversation, although we can vent about it later. Her circumstances were obviously not ideal for a child. She was on pain medication and did not wish to stop-even for a pregnancy. I am happy that she realizes that she cannot CTT because she wishes to continue using medications. (or otherdrugs) Seeing a child born addicted to meds because "mom" was against abortion, yet okay with bringing a child into this world to painfully detox just does not make sense to me.

    As a side note. I had an abortion at 20. I failed to use BC. I did have an abortion, zero regrets, so I am a lot more open minded to women seeking abortion for whatever reason. Be it failure to use BC, or their acknowledgment of choices which are not OK for pregnancy, I support these women.

    She is unwilling to CTT in a healthy way, so an abortion is her best choice IF she will not stop using drugs which harm a developing fetus.

    Hopefully my post does not offend.
    NPAlby, MUUGUZI, myelin, and 11 others like this.
  2. 9
    I am 100% pro-choice. Well, make that 150%. I feel a woman should be allowed to terminate a pregnancy for any reason, whatsoever, including inconvenience. It's HER life and HER body and that fetus doesn't think, see, feel pain, or have thoughts. Sorry. Am I saying she's not a crummy person otherwise? Well, I can't judge her based on what someone else says. But, we don't need more unwanted kids though, no more addicts, no more foster cases. It's her decision, let her live with it and let it go.
    NPAlby, ktwlpn, RNJHUPHL, and 6 others like this.
  3. 3
    Quote from AngelfireRN
    To those that say we don't know for sure...we do. She said it flat-out. It was an inconvenience and she didn't need an inconvenience, she needed her meds. Period.

    Doesn't mean anything. Could be her way of coping with a difficult decision. Doesn't mean she is as flippant as she is playing it off, is my point.
  4. 2
    I will just add, I also have a history of miscarriage, and infertility. I've spent a few years of my life in fertility treatments trying for a baby. Successfully, luckily, but I do still know the loss. Still doesn't change my opinion. I don't always agree with other people's decisions, especially those who use abortion as a form of BC. I've just learned that other people's decisions of that sort honestly have no significance in my life, them having or not having a baby doesn't directly affect my situation at all. Does it pull at my heart? Sure a little. But if I let everything I see or disagree with bother me working as a nurse, I'd have burned out a long long time ago. It's just not worth it.
    steffuturelpn and grownuprosie like this.
  5. 3
    As a provider, you need to not personalize pts. If you do, you are always going to find drama and ways to be upset.
    RNJHUPHL, Elladora, and steffuturelpn like this.
  6. 7
    I only support abortions when they're absolutely necessary...like when a woman is pregnant and doesn't want to be

    ...sorry I can't really be on your side on this one.
  7. 2
    Ok, you say you are mad and not sure you should be? well I believe anyone can feel anyway they want to....they are feelings! But how you choose to react to those feelings are an entirely different subject and you chose to deal with your feelings by venting here, which is helpful. No matter how any of us feels about drug addicts or abortion, like some wise nurse said in a post here,"do not personalize pts, you are always going to find drama and be upset". Even if we think we know what someone is going through, we may not have the full story of their lives, their hardships and it is not fair to them or ourselves to rack our brain judging them. Judging is so exhausting! Compassion(even though it may be hard to give at times)is so much easier...accept the situation, handle it the way it must be handled(your clinic has policies) and give the best care we can as nurses.

    just my

    and sorry i forgot to for your bad day.
    Last edit by juzme on Aug 1, '12 : Reason: to give op hug sign
    LibraSunCNM and steffuturelpn like this.
  8. 0
    I can understand why the OP would be frustrated and angry. I understand and completely agree with her on this issue. I also think she did a great job by not sharing that with the patient and maintaining her professional boundaries. I will say this though, if she broke this rule that your clinic has clearly spelled out and the consequence of breaking said rule is termination as a patient then I wouldn't hesitate to terminate her from the service.

    I should add that this decision would not be as a punishment for the patient because I disagreed with her choice to terminate her pregnancy so she can continue to get controlled substances. This decisions is a matter of setting expectations with these patients (i.e. reporting a known pregnancy to the clinic immediately) and following through with the consequence (terminating the patient from the service for failing to report). Failure to do so with this patient could create a ripple effect in which other patients begin breaking the rules and expecting no consequences. That's my opinion as a psych. nurse and I'm sure on the flip side you could find another psych. nurse who would say that you have to remain flexible and not terminate the patient from the program because that would force her to seek her medications from other potentially dangerous sources. I think in this situation it is very difficult to think with an objective mind and there might be no "right answer". Best of luck and let us know what you decide to do about this situation.

    !Chris
  9. 8
    I'm of the opinion that "she's pregnant and doesn't want to be" is 100% a valid enough justification for an abortion in and of itself.
    SwansonRN, ktwlpn, VioletKaliLPN, and 5 others like this.
  10. 0
    It was not my decision to have that conversation amongst all and sundry present. The initial interview took place with myself and another staff member present as witness. Then the patient went back to the lobby and after sitting awhile came up to the window and hollered the question through.
    Not the way I would have preferred, to be sure.


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