This is exactly why I chose nursing education as a specialty rather than management when I went for my MSN. Managers are squeezed from both sides.
I did have one manager who I loved and who really motivated me. She was on the floor all the time. She wore scrubs
to work and would keep an ear to the ground about what was going on with her staff and the patients. She helped do things like place a Flexiseal on an incontinent patient, turning and cleaning patients...the stuff nobody likes to do but still needs doing. She would go in and work with the night shift sometimes...not all night, but staying until 12 or 1. She would pick one of us and ask if she could follow us for part of our shift. It was like having a second pair of hands, let her get the lay of the land and a feel for our personalities, strengths, weaknesses and bedside manner. It helped her identify deficits in practice to pass on to the unit educator and it gave us time with her to both know her as a nurse and a person as well as a feel for where the unit needed support. Even if she was unable to make changes, we could see that she was a nurse first and foremost, that what we did mattered. She never denied people PTO. Ever. Were we short sometimes? Yes, but we all knew when it was our turn, we got the time off we needed. She was super good at building teamwork among the staff nurses.
I wish you luck. Management is both a skill and a talent. If you want to be respected by your nurses you have to show them you understand what they do and are in the trenches too. Most people are capable of understanding the pressures you are getting from on high. They need to know you understand the pressures they themselves are under and that you care. My advice would be to get out of your office and get on the floor as much as possible, even if it is just to come out and help turn a patient or answer a call light for someone once or twice a day. They will notice. Believe me.