write-up for insubordination because I turned my back to cry...

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Nov 29, 2011

Quit being ridiculous, NOAM.

Why is she crying......It's pretty obvious I think. A new nurse who has some confidence issues before this situation being bullied by an overbearing, what sounds to be, jackhole (who is probably a short fat little gnome himself). Our personal experiences shape who we are and we are not privy to the OP's personal issues. But a new nurse in a toxic enviorment that isn't helping her grow as a professional....she needs to leave.

Not eveyone has the chutzpah....and some people just have days that they cry...... :smokin:

netglow, ASN, RN · Nov 29, 2011

My question is: WHY were you crying? Can you truly not control yourself well enough to NOT bust out in snot-slinging crying when confronted at work?
I guess my history of working in primarily male lines of work has me jaded, but I cannot imagine that blubbering while being counseled at work would win you any respect on the job.

Here is a reason for you, sometimes it's better to cry than to pull a gun out and blow a jerk's head off. I'd prefer crying to that, myself, if I was on the receiving end.

I'll take criticism if it's constructive. But if it goes elsewhere, I will pretty much go for your throat, and I will do it in front of as many people as I can. If pushed I can be very mean, and there is no warning :smokin:

Kooky Korky, BSN, RN · Nov 30, 2011

Frustrates me to no end that this is the way we are treated! Nursing is so dysfunctional.

Nursing does have its share of dysfunction but I don't get, from OP's post, that she was mistreated. Her boss critiques her, perhaps impatiently or rudely, and she cried. She needs to not cry at work. It isn't appropriate. Not for the situation she described.

She needs to quit, probably, and go elsewhere and just put this behind her.

Kooky Korky, BSN, RN · Nov 30, 2011

That doctor is creating a hostile work environment. Making fun of you because of your size? And you're actually going to take this treatment lying down? If they do fire you, you should bring up the treatment you got there when you file for unemp. It might not be a bad idea to start keeping a diary of what's happening to you; note word for word when someone mocks you.
This really doesn't sound like the kind of place where you should be working.

Also let the doctor know that the person who is supposed to orient and train you is not doing so. Not giving you the manuals, leaving you to learn for yourself. Is she angry about you being there? Is she having to train her replacement? Is this practice owned by the doctor or does he also report to someone? Absolutely put your foot down about the rude comments about your size and how hard you are trying to learn.

My guess is that the patient who laughed "with" the doctor was more embarrassed than agreeing. Can't say for sure, just guessing.

farmernurse26 · Dec 5, 2011

@Bortaz, i wasn't crying because i was being counseled, i was crying because i was overwhelmed, he was treating me like an idiot knowing darn good and well that i did not have any training and i was basically teaching myself how to work the system, and he made me feel stupid like it was as easy as cutting cake when it really isn't. please don't mock me because i chose to cry instead of cuss him like he deserved. i could have cussed him out and stormed out of there, but because i knew that wasn't an option for me, i cried instead. i couldn't control it and turning my back was the best way to keep "the snot from flying" as you so kindly suggested.

And, everyone else, they did fire me. the office manager fired me for not documenting a call on a pts chart after i had verbally told the office mgr and the RN what was said and they said that that was good enough. she told me to doc the call in the chart, along with like 15 other things and that the other things had top priority so go and do them first. well, naturally, i got swamped trying to hurry and get everything done and i forgot to doc the call in the chart. i know i screwed up here, plz don't point that out i know i screwed up. but here's the thing; the md that hired me told me that during my 90 day training period none of my mistakes would be held against me. the md that hired me is out of town tho, and the office mgr pulled me into her office as soon as i got to work the next day and told me that i wasn't going to work out at the office and due to not documenting the call i was terminated. keep in mind I KNOW I SCREWED UP but to terminate me for not doc the chart when they both knew exactly what was said to the pt (it was a simple call over normal bloodwork, nothing serious) and they said that i did everything ok and didn't have anything to worry about. it was just a BS reason to fire me, and honestly i'm glad to be out of that TOXIC Hellhole!

CoffeeRTC, BSN, RN · Dec 5, 2011

I wrote what I wrote not to be mean, but to try to shed some light on a concept which I can't understand. I just can't imagine an employee bursting into tears during a counseling session. Again, in my past life I worked primarily with men, and maybe I'm just not used to workplace emotions just because you're being corrected.
I see it often on here, some nurse running away in tears, or having to pull over on the side of the road so they can cry over a bad day at work. I don't get it. And again I ask: WHY ARE YOU CRYING?
I can see crying from a death or something, I reckon. I work in NICU and have been emotional over losing a beautiful baby a time or two. But from "Hey, you really need to pick up the pace, you're moving much too slowly and aren't keeping up!"? Not so much.
Also, you see lots of cries of "nursing isn't respected as a profession!". Well, do we wonder why, if this is what we're doing when we encounter conflict?
You wouldn't want to be my FB friend, anyway. I post Farmville requests ALL THE TIME.

I'm not a crier, but I do cry. I shed some tears yesterday when one of my patients died and then when I was talking with the family..we cried together. I shed a few tears when changing the dressings on one of my hospice residents too. So yes....it happens.

I'll be honest...when there are people crying around me (not death related or something sad like that)...I am very uncomfortable and don't know how to react. I think the men that posted about this and some of the others are in the same boat. Providing constructive or not so constructive critisim made the OP cry. This person was already overwhelmed due to a poor situation. The doc in question responded badly if he yelled or threatened to write her up.

hayate392 · May 23, 2012

I need your help!!!! I am being written up for insubordination on my 6th day of employment because when my employer was criticizing me for my work and telling me how much stress and how many errors I had made for him I started crying and turned my back to him on instinct. You know from experience that I have a tendency to cry, and I meant no harm by turning my back, but he took it as an affront. I have not been trained to work there, they showed me the clinical side that you already trained me to do in school, showed me the computer system and told me I would need to learn it, then cut me loose and expected me to know how to use the system like a pro by myself on the 3rd day. I thought I was cruising along using the forms I had figured out on my own and nobody said anything about it until today, other than that I needed to speed up. The girl that was supposed to train me was leaving me to my own devices and showing me to use forms that are no longer valid in our system only when I begged her to show me how to use the system. I don't know what to do. I am swamped, way in over my head and now I am suspended in lieu of termination tomorrow and facing insubordination write-up when I return on monday. what can I do? I'm so scared. This could end my nursing career before it even begins. Please help

-Late reply-

This happened to me as well except my write up was for not following directions and being smart mouth, because I asked the Supervisor a simple question...I was dead serious though..... I had two days of training, the 3rd day I was thrown on the floor by myself I cried(afterwork ofcourse) because I was overwhelmed and even had a patient fall and bleed all over the place on my first day. Luckily, another nurse was kind enough to stop working and take over my side, my 1st day was so horrible everything went wrong. I thought I made a bad career choice for $22k . My manager took me straight to the Don after I made a mistake..and the Don tore the write up and said I was a young learning nurse and I needed more training....My manager was pi-assed and stopped talking to me then spread rumors to the other nurses about my attitude..but they all knew better...then she quit the next month, buuut......Im still here :).........I almost wanted to quit the job, but it was hard as hell to get a full time job with no experience. You cant quit everytime you get a stupid manager I know you already fixed this...but next time, go to your Don....but do NOT take your supervisor in with you and don't quit because of them. My result was, I ended up back in training for 2-3 months...your nursing career isn't over if you get fired, there are hundreds of other facilities you can go to..so don't think that's the only place you can work, if they fire you so what?, apply PRN somewhere else. Until you find another full time job, training at your PRN place will pay your bills. And don't use them as a reference(not like they'll call for real MOST of the time).Not sure why they fired you...they could've just told you to do a late entry in the chart...in my case when I forgot to document a call, another nurse did it for me...

hayate392 · May 23, 2012

My question is: WHY were you crying? Can you truly not control yourself well enough to NOT bust out in snot-slinging crying when confronted at work?
I guess my history of working in primarily male lines of work has me jaded, but I cannot imagine that blubbering while being counseled at work would win you any respect on the job.

When you're barely trained and on your own....its scary and stressful...for the new nurse with slight training..its like stepping into a whole new world of things and you have no idea what you're supposed to do and trying to be perfect you mess up doing too much at once...it hurts when you put your best efforts and people mistreat you and refuse to help you, especially when its the ones you have to rely on or your boss...They use their power to hurt you and not help you...tears are a way of expressing hurt and relieving stress. So no you can't "truly" control genuine tears....fyi working in a male line is irrelevant to everything....crying may not earn respect as a tough guy but it should earn sympathy and another chance for a new nurse, unless your boss an idiot...she cries because the situation is overwhelming...haven't you ever had something out of your control overwhelm you and make you cry? if not, you can't be human...I admit I cried as well to my shift manager...I was mistreated by pretty much all the nurses on my floor and they always left their work for me knowing I wouldn't realize what they were doing. They talked to me bad and tried to blame anything they could on me. I was 19 at that time and had no experience or training in nursing....the nurses hated me and I hated that job I asked for help and they told me to do things they KNEW would get me in trouble, so I couldn't ask for any advice...once I got a trainer, they stopped when she cursed them out <_ still get told by nurses that i a child and they expect me to listen them or have kids older than me..even my staff manage are some give lot of mouth but don cry anymore at job....now just threaten write everyone up instant respect : its learning process one day be able tell people off without crying any tears....i like job when peaceful...really this paragraph was unnecessarily long pointless....but the first half is relevant part.. so...i gotta go eat whip cream from can now. someone tomorrow need sugar.....>

brillohead, ADN, RN · May 23, 2012

It's a Zombie Thread!

Jory, MSN, APRN, CNM · May 28, 2012

Personally? I wouldn't go back. I wouldn't even send them an email.

Horseshoe, BSN, RN · May 29, 2012

Old thread, but two things come to mind:

a)MD is a total a$$.

b)completely separate from that, turning your back on a supervisor while being critiqued, criticized, whatever, whether crying or not, will NOT be taken well.