Why so nasty? - page 2
by Lovely_RN, MSN, APRN | 4,184 Views | 33 Comments
I met my new preceptor today and she didn't make the slightest effort to hide her contempt for me. As soon as she strolled in to take report (late) she rolled her eyes at me and refused to acknowledge my presence. No lie. One or... Read More
- 1Jun 22, '11 by himilayaneyes, MSN, APRNHang in there. I don't know why some people are like that...it happens in every profession not just nursing. I think it depends a lot on the culture of the workplace as well. In my current job, I encountered people who didn't hide the fact that they didn't want to train anyone while at my previous job..the people there seemed to love to train ( I think the bonuses they received for it may have had something to do with it though...lol).
- 2Quote from TaitThat's exactly what I would have done. And I was cranky when I was young.I am in a mood to say just call her butt out on it.
But I also have been following the thread that seems to think my age group is the hellfire and bane of everyone's existence.
Makes me cranky.
- 1Jun 22, '11 by caliotter3It could be that this is just how she is. I have worked in places that had some gems like this. One LVN loudly stated, "I don't orient RNs!", when she found out she was supposed to orient a new RN. She treated the RN like crap and the new nurse didn't even stay a week. Mission accomplished. This woman was nasty and management allowed her to act that way.
Quote from Bortaz, RNBecause they are allowed to.
- 3Jun 22, '11 by carolmaccas66I'm going to tell you a story, so get comfy in your chair or at the table, go get a cup of coffee, and we will start:
I used to work hospitality trying to get my way thru school. I did many, many c****y and low paid jobs, but got thru study. Anyway, in the hotel I worked at we had this really badly dressed, mean, disgusting, foul-mouthed woman who used to come in and was rude and disrepectful every, single time, I mean, she used to call us c***s!! No matter how much we complained, she was never banned cos I worked in a small town and the hotels were jostling for business, so this unacceptable behaviour was discreetly ignored. Needless to say, this woman was an alcoholic, hooked on gambling and smoked non-stop (this is typical of many people in this town). Gambling and hanging in hotels day & night was her thing (the small town I'm in encourages this - and drinking - as gambling brings in a LOT of much needed revenue to the town) - but that's a WHOLE nother story (and argument if you want one!)
Well, one day I was talking to my niece who works in a local supermarket. I was whingeing re this woman and my niece said: 'Does she look such and such?' and described her appearance to a tee. I said yeah that must be her. She said: 'Well she comes into the shop here and abuses everyone, demands this & that, etc - very bad behaviour!' Then I went to the bank and saw a friend there and complained re this woman - my bank friend described her to a tee and said how rude this woman was, abused everyone, etc, etc. Then I went out for a drink with my Mum that night, and a guy I knew said that same woman went to HIS hotel, and did the same thing to them! She got away with it everywhere!
The point I'm making is, this preceptor is probably unhappy with her life all the time and goes around everywhere making people's lives a misery, not just you at work. Some people LOVE making others feel uncomfortable - you are the newbie, so why not? Well, here's what I did to try & deal with it:
When I had a preceptor who obviously loathed me, I confronted her in private (never in public),and asked her did she hate me? She said yes, she didn't like me but tried to always be fair. However, I pointed out she gave me VERY unfair reports which other managers/senior nurses did not agree with - she changed all their good ratings to 'needs support all the time; is too dependent' etc.
I asked her why she so hated me. She'd HEARD a few things about me - which were untrue - so I corrected her right away - and she said a few other things I can't remember now. (She probably hated me cos I don't stand for any BS from anyone). Well, I blatantly told her if she discriminated against me and didn't pass me, I would make a formal complaint to the university and I would have other people as witnesses to discredit her unfair assessments of me (which was the complaint policy protocol of the uni at the time). I told her I thought she was unduly stressed due to not having enough babysitters for her kids (true), and that she needed to get her personal life and problems sorted out - and not to take them out on me. I was VERY frank towards her. After that, guess what? I passed, and didn't have any problems with her again.
Sometimes the only way to get something done is to get it out in the open and confront her. Act tough & tell her you won't be putting up with any BS - make that clear from the get go - and she will respect you more. Tell her straight you WILL make a formal complaint and follow the hospital's rules re complaint procedures. If she gets too many complaints, she may be scared she will lose her position, so she should change. If she doesn't, I'd still complian and ask for another preceptor, as far as I'm aware, you can do that.
Good luck and let us know what happens!!
- 2Jun 22, '11 by Lovely_RNThanks for all the support fellow and future nurses. I really needed it last night. I kept a stiff upper lip at work and I thought I shook it off but after I read what I wrote I got a little teary-eyed because, my feelings were hurt. Today was a better day though...she still showed up (late) with a funky attitude, didn't say good morning, and wouldn't acknowledge me until report was done....after she had a few sips of her coffee. As the day progressed she warmed up a bit and even gave me a compliment in between her instructions/critiquing. At the end of the day she pulled me to the side and told me to not mind how she acts in the morning and even gave me some good feedback. I still don't think it's appropriate to act that way at work regardless of whether you're a morning person or whatever your issue is but I'll take it. As long as I know it's not me then I can cope. Maybe it really is like carolmaccas66 wrote...she's probably just nasty to everyone.
- 3Jun 22, '11 by TheCommuter, ASN, RN Senior ModeratorQuote from Lovely_RNThis might be true, but people with nasty attitudes should not be assigned the preceptor role. Newer nurses with thinner skin and a weaker sense of self might be driven away from the hospital forever after one encounter with people like her....she's probably just nasty to everyone.