Why are nurses such back-stabbers?

[RNforLongTime]

Why do nurses feel the need to "tattle" on colleagues to the boss for petty things? Behavior like this does nothing to elevate our profession and everything to keep us down. Why are there some nurses who feel superior when they tell on someone to the manager? This recently happened to me and I thought I had a good rapport with my co-workers yet one of them ratted me out to the boss on an off-the-cuff remark that I made. Why does this happen? Is it because the majority of nurses are women and women are catty individuals. I'm a woman btw. From now on though, I am just going to do my work, and only talk to the other nurses/aides about clinically relevant stuff only. Other than that, I'll keep my nose in a book. Actually, I won't be working at this current place much longer. There are staffing issues that put my license in jeoprady so I am starting a job hunt after the holidays.

So, why do we do this to eachother?

[PANurseRN1]

i learned years ago that you elicit the responses you get.

i find it truly saddening and disappointing that nursing, predominately a female profession harbors such negative stereotypes against women. it truly amazes me how few of our members seem to actually like nurses, or to like women. it is small wonder that many nurses are having negative experiences with their co-workers. it seems that few nrses really like their co-workers, their profession or their gender. how sad that someone would have a negative experience with a co-worker (which that person may or may not have contributed to with an "off the cuff remark") and then generalize against an entire gender and most of a profession!

and it disheartens me that our male colleagues are so quick to pile on, too. people of both genders can be backstabbers; this is not a uniquely female issue.

[PANurseRN1]

Agreed.

If one looks at the world in general, notice how much more aggression is elicited by men. Look at who starts wars. Look at how many more males are in prison than females. Look at women more positively people, please. After all, I'm sure you were all brought up by one.

This isn't meant to upset the men reading by the way, I'm just trying to restore some balance back to this thread. Some men are bad, so are some women. But the gender stereotyping in this thread is disgusting.

Excellent point!

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

I think that we as nurses have a lot of responsibility and very little actual power. If we actually advocate we're viewed as troublemakers, if we don't we're viewed as uncaring.... whenever you have a group of overworked, underpaid, and stressed people personality differences will gain in importance, and butt-covering will often consist of pointing the finger at others.

I must say, I worked in corporate America for decades at a pretty high level at the last and men are no better at teamwork than women. They're just better at not talking so it lends them the appearance of bing less catty. HAH! Watch parts of a major roll-out of a new computer system crash and burn and see what happens.

[Sylv]

Then it's not a gender problem is it?

why, is the boss male?

[RN BSN 2009]

I think that we as nurses have a lot of responsibility and very little actual power. If we actually advocate we're viewed as troublemakers, if we don't we're viewed as uncaring.... whenever you have a group of overworked, underpaid, and stressed people personality differences will gain in importance, and butt-covering will often consist of pointing the finger at others.

I must say, I worked in corporate America for decades at a pretty high level at the last and men are no better at teamwork than women. They're just better at not talking so it lends them the appearance of bing less catty. HAH! Watch parts of a major roll-out of a new computer system crash and burn and see what happens.

Agreed on the first point, it's important that one finds a balance between uncaring and total advocate

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

why, is the boss male?

hehehe.........probably.

[TNnursejane, BSN, RN]

Oh do I relate! I'm in a job now where there are only 5 nurses, 5 radiology techs. I'm one of the 5 nurses. The nurses treat me as if I have a disease. I had heard a rumor that they were trying to set me up for failure. I am only doing my job. I still have lots to learn but I've got the basics of the job down pretty well. I have done nothing to these people but try to be nice. I've heard rumors that they have called me names, etc... I talked with my supervisor (who is useless as a buffer because he is part of their little click) and am going thru the proper channels but I'm not sure it'll make any difference. I only have the fact that I'm doing my job and asking questions when I need help. We are hoping that once one of these nurses who is the ring leader is gone on national guard duty that things may settle down. I like my job so either they are going to have to leave or live with it because I'm not going anywhere! :angryfire Hon! I feel your pain.

[MsBruiser]

You are not a part of the solution when you continue to stereotype.

So far the stereotypes are proving true. Deal with it...

[Phen]

Its amazing how common backstabbing is no matter which part of the world one practices - be it America, Africa, U.K, - wherever... It seems almost universal & the common factor is that its a "woman thing". Knowing this each one of us can make a conscious effort to avoid the habit and also prevent being affected by keeping conversations to just clinical issues & neutral stuff. It will give others little or nothing to "blah blah blah..." about.

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

So far the stereotypes are proving true. Deal with it...

Neverrmind You already answered the question i was going to ask you next.

[West_Coast_Ken, BSN, RN]

I think that we as nurses have a lot of responsibility and very little actual power. If we actually advocate we're viewed as troublemakers, if we don't we're viewed as uncaring.... whenever you have a group of overworked, underpaid, and stressed people personality differences will gain in importance, and butt-covering will often consist of pointing the finger at others.

I must say, I worked in corporate America for decades at a pretty high level at the last and men are no better at teamwork than women. They're just better at not talking so it lends them the appearance of bing less catty. HAH! Watch parts of a major roll-out of a new computer system crash and burn and see what happens.

Suesquatch, I think you are right on in para #1 and I know you are right on in para #2. I used to support large database systems and "it's always the database" HA! The abbreviated title for Database Administrator is DBA and we used to say it stood for Don't Bother Asking!! (as in leave us alone!!) :typing

[Quiltedstar]

From my experience it's may appear to be most nurses or most women but in reality it is usually a select few who are repeat offenders.

I have worked in several different work envirornments, construction, education, manufacturing, etc. There is always at least one of those type of people. When I worked in human resources we had a saying "10% of the people take up 90% of our time". And it's true. It is usually the same 2, 3, or 4 people who backstabb or tattle and that just makes it seem like it's women as a whole when really it's not. But, men are not excluded. I have seem my fair share of men who are gossips, they just don't come along as often.

As for why? Well, I think it's one of a two reasons. 1 - to get attention from the supervisor because tattleing is one thing that will make a supervisor pay attention to you or 2 - to make you look bad and, in turn, make the tattler look good.

The best advice in the thread has been to keep things as business like as possible and fly below radar. I learned that the hard way.

And those who gossip/backstab to you will do it about you so it's only a matter of time before they end up in trouble because they've done it to the boss.