I've been working my first RN job for 14 months now. I'm on a med-surg floor in a large magnet hospital and for the most part, I've been loving it! I like most of my coworkers, I love my patients, and I'm motivated to be the best nurse I can be. I've gotten positive feedback from patients and families on comment cards, I've have interdisciplinary staff (social workers, residents) recognize and thank me. It's honestly been really rewarding and empowering. But in the last two months or so, I've been noticing some bad vibes..
For example, my ANM has been nothing but condescending to me lately, even in front of my peers. For example, one day I was eating my lunch and the ANM stops in and says "lelms, have you sat down and talked to your patients today?" "Yes, I have." "You better have." And walks away. I gave them the benefit of the doubt and thought maybe he was having a bad day or they're getting grief from upper management. The only thing is he remains passive aggressive to the point I feel targeted.
This all seemed to have come out of nowhere. I'm starting to feel paranoid and I have anxiety just thinking about going into work. Whenever I'm berated by my ANM I hold back tears the rest of my shift. I scarf down my lunch in the locker room so no one can accuse me of having too much "down time". My schedule seems rougher than usual, I rotate nights/days every other week and sometimes only have one day off to switch. I know my attitude is shifting to be more cynical, but I try to hold it in for fear of being labeled a "bad attitude". My family notices a change in me.
I've emailed my NM about possibly changing my schedule in the future so I don't rotate as often, and made a suggestion to possibly work day/evenings or straight nights. She simply responded with a "
". Like WHAT does that even MEAN?! I'm considering sitting down with my ANM so we can talk about the vibes I've been getting but I'm scared it will blow up in my face. I'm so confused because I was content a few months ago, now I'm working on an exit plan. Could this be my imagination or me overreacting? Should I approach someone about this or just leave?
Dec 9, '17
Just a thought, and not excusing your NM's communication style.. When a new nurse or employee starts out, they can be a star for that point in their orientation but when they don't advance as expected, what was once viewed as exceeding expectations may no longer meet expectations. At least by someone's appraisal.
If I were to have a conversation with the intention of making this job stick (which I would think you would want considering everything that is good about it) my first question would be, "Am I meeting expectations and making the progress you expected at this point in time?"
Ask this with sincerity and confidence but no defensiveness and then sit and wait for his answer. This will take all of the hostility out of his sails while he contemplates why he didn't initiate this conversation himself.
After his response, ask to lay out the expectations and for his input on how to meet them.
That's how to both communicate with a successful outcome, whatever that might be, and how to teach a manager how to treat you. Regardless of outcome, it's great practice.
Last edit by Libby1987 on Dec 9, '17