Toxic Workplace: have the rose colored glasses fallen off?

[lelms]

I've been working my first RN job for 14 months now. I'm on a med-surg floor in a large magnet hospital and for the most part, I've been loving it! I like most of my coworkers, I love my patients, and I'm motivated to be the best nurse I can be. I've gotten positive feedback from patients and families on comment cards, I've have interdisciplinary staff (social workers, residents) recognize and thank me. It's honestly been really rewarding and empowering. But in the last two months or so, I've been noticing some bad vibes..

For example, my ANM has been nothing but condescending to me lately, even in front of my peers. For example, one day I was eating my lunch and the ANM stops in and says "lelms, have you sat down and talked to your patients today?" "Yes, I have." "You better have." And walks away. I gave them the benefit of the doubt and thought maybe he was having a bad day or they're getting grief from upper management. The only thing is he remains passive aggressive to the point I feel targeted.

This all seemed to have come out of nowhere. I'm starting to feel paranoid and I have anxiety just thinking about going into work. Whenever I'm berated by my ANM I hold back tears the rest of my shift. I scarf down my lunch in the locker room so no one can accuse me of having too much "down time". My schedule seems rougher than usual, I rotate nights/days every other week and sometimes only have one day off to switch. I know my attitude is shifting to be more cynical, but I try to hold it in for fear of being labeled a "bad attitude". My family notices a change in me.

I've emailed my NM about possibly changing my schedule in the future so I don't rotate as often, and made a suggestion to possibly work day/evenings or straight nights. She simply responded with a " :) ". Like WHAT does that even MEAN?! I'm considering sitting down with my ANM so we can talk about the vibes I've been getting but I'm scared it will blow up in my face. I'm so confused because I was content a few months ago, now I'm working on an exit plan. Could this be my imagination or me overreacting? Should I approach someone about this or just leave?

[JKL33]

In hindsight, if anyone is in a similar predicament, I'd say go with your gut. If you get a bad vibe, there's likely something wrong. Clear communication and respect should be expected no matter the circumstances. Mind games and power-tripping should not happen, especially by management. Your health and happiness is worth way more than that. ✌️

Good for you! I hope you enjoy your new area.

Work smart - and that includes being aware of your surroundings and taking good stock of others and their intentions. Be pleasant, kind, helpful, take excellent care of patients, and beyond that stay under the radar where you can observe for awhile.

Best of luck ~

[TriciaJ, RN]

The part that makes me laugh is that your NM was obviously trying to make you look bad during your presentation. If your description of her behaviour is even close to accurate, she made a royal ass of herself in front of everyone. And lost a decent staff member to boot.

[lelms]

I agree! There was one other NM that seemed like he was trying to step in but she talked over him until he gave up too! lol

After the fact my cohorts couldn't believe it and told me to tell her to go bleep herself. It's just amazing (and scary) how she can get away with acting like that in public in front off all those nurses and 20 or so NMs. She definetly has built a reputation for herself, but I feel for my other coworkers on the floor that endure it all.

[JBudd, MSN]

I have a feeling that having done that in front of so many managers, something will be going on behind the scenes and it will come back to bite her in the aspidistera.

Thanks for the update!