Things you'd LOVE to tell coworkers...and get away with it!

Nurses Relations

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Please don't label this thread "negative". It is meant to be fun.

Your scrubs are ugly.

I don't think you are "cute" when you get all googley-eyed and giggly around the young docs. I think it makes nurses look bad.

I cannot BELIEVE you were nominated for A Daisy Award! Did you nominate yourself?

It's called deodorant, use it.

Do your own assessment and stop badgering me for every single detail during report.

I swear I am going to put Ex Lax all over my lunch so the next time someone calls out for the runs, I will know it is you who keeps stealing my food!

Yes, my stethoscope is nice and it was expensive. Buy your own.

No time to help me turn my patient, huh? Yet, every time you need help, I have been there for you.

Your situational awareness sucks. While you are browsing the latest deals on the internet, I am drowning. Look around and help out your coworkers.

I'm happy you look rested and ready for your shift. Next time get here 15 minutes earlier so I can leave on time and be rested and ready for you.

No, you don't ALWAYS get the crappy assignment. I don't think you'd be happy with ANY assignment.

If you're sooooo sick of this place- leave.

If I can survive my days off without work, YOU can survive work without me. I'm glad to know you value me, but please keep the sticky notes to a minimum. Especially when they are urgent and I'm not there.

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Specializes in Medical Surgical.

I wrote you up because I had to, I laughed because you bullied me once.

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To my superiors, when you say you plan to do something (hire another nurse, address the customer service issue, bring in someone to teach in-services, fix the copier) DO IT. Stop talking about for months and just get it done. I need you to do that stuff, I don't need you to string it along. Please back me with my staff. Don't undermine and play games because I disciplined your favorite LPN. Step off and let me manage my floor. I've done it before, this isn't my first time to the zoo.

To my staff, Adios muchachos. Have fun tormenting the next dumb manager that comes in. Play your games. God forbid you cooperate and buy into someone else's vision of progress for the unit instead of marching along to same beat from the last decade. Things do need to change and you are part of the problem if you buck those changes. And how about just smiling and being nice? Stop the crap and just do your jobs and go home. Get out of my office because I don't care about your meltdowns anymore. Go cry to my boss. She/he believes you. Because after all, you guys are the ones who have been there forever. I'm the outsider. I'm also the fourth RN you chewed up and spit out within the last four years. Trust me, it's not the RNs. It's YOU.

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Specializes in Psych.

Please stop antagonizing and being rude to patients and families and then look incredulous when all the quiet rooms fill up you're giving 3 IMs and patients are signing 72 hour notices when you work. I don't know why you need feel "powerful" with the pts. They are PSYCH pts. You have all the power in the world already. Oh, and everyone who works weekends with you as charge totally dreads it.

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Specializes in Dialysis.

To the wonderful RNs and techs I work with -

Thank you so much for being available on your day off to help when you know that our day is crazy

We had a code in our unit recently and it still amazes me how we work so well together as a cohesive team... like a well oiled machine we all know what the other wants before someone asks

Thank you for understanding that while I am low man on the totem pole and usually have to close on Mon Wed and Fri... you each gave up some day hours so I can see my kids now that school is starting

Yes I will come in on my day off to dialyze a patient in ICU so you don't have a 16hr day because I know you would do the same for me

While we all have had and will surely in the future have our differences and disagreements, I enjoy working with each and everyone of you. The commitment that we all have not only to our patients and our unit but also to eachother as coworkers is great.

I could have had a laundry list of negative things to say... but I am all about the postive and it usually out weighs the bad ;-)

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Specializes in Psych.

how on God's green earth did you get your position

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Specializes in Critical Care.
To the wonderful RNs and techs I work with -

Thank you so much for being available on your day off to help when you know that our day is crazy

We had a code in our unit recently and it still amazes me how we work so well together as a cohesive team... like a well oiled machine we all know what the other wants before someone asks

Thank you for understanding that while I am low man on the totem pole and usually have to close on Mon Wed and Fri... you each gave up some day hours so I can see my kids now that school is starting

Yes I will come in on my day off to dialyze a patient in ICU so you don't have a 16hr day because I know you would do the same for me

While we all have had and will surely in the future have our differences and disagreements, I enjoy working with each and everyone of you. The commitment that we all have not only to our patients and our unit but also to eachother as coworkers is great.

I could have had a laundry list of negative things to say... but I am all about the postive and it usually out weighs the bad ;-)

Refreshing!!

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Specializes in Dialysis.

I am truly blessed to work with the group that I do. :-D

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*This is report, not Kelly Kapure story hour. I want to go home.

*My options for pain control are Tylenol or Dilaudid? Really? Are you crazy, or just plain stupid.

*No I will not just call you if your patient rings while you hang out at the nurses station. Stay in your hall.

*Stop telling me how to do my job. I realize you have been a CNA for ten years, but that does not trump an actual nursing degree.

* I am not too stupid to notice your unwaranted contempt for me. I just have more tact than to sink to your level.

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To most of my colleagues: Thank you a million times over for being who you are. Thank you for helping this "green" nurse adjust and learn with kindness and respect, and making that transition to colleague when I got some more experience under my belt. I hear the stories my friends come back with while they were still training and I thank my lucky stars I ended up with you guys! I respect your nursing knowledge, your compassion and advocacy for your patients, your work ethic, and your sense of humor. You make coming to work brighter.

On the other hand to the few that antagonize me on the weeks when I am unlucky enough to come into contact with them:

-Please stop complaining about my personality flaws to our manager. If you have a problem with me, come to me. Im a people pleaser, I will try to adjust what bothers you when dealing with you. But going to management was just underhanded and rude.

-Please stop trying to save my soul. Really.

-You need to quit you are so burned out its not even funny. You guys are toast that has been in the oven on 450 degrees for 4 hours. You are going to make a mistake once that is going to really hurt someone. Please get help or find another nursing path before you do.

-When I am giving report please try not to make it into a teaching session. I did my part, you can do your part. Working nights is not easier because the patients are sleeping. They usually arent. If they are sleeping, it means things like blood draws and dressing changes need to be done at certain hours because I am not waking up a person before 6 just because his PICC line dressing needs to be changed when there are 17 more hours in the day to do it. Last night was tough, my third night in a row, came in for OT, and I had one more patient than reasonable, because everyone calls out sick. I gave medications, did assessments and charting, made my patients feel comfortable, and hung numerous IVs and did urine and blood labs every 4 hours on two patients as part of their medication regimens. Dealt with the intern and got 4 patients into contact rooms. Everyone else was just as swamped, if not more. I couldnt get help. I have been doing this job for just under a year, please dont expect miracles out of me. I am sorry I didnt put a label on the KVO and you had to change the bag. You have 4 patients, I am sure you had time. Please dont call me on my way home to tell me what I did. And dont wait until next week when you see me again. Forget it and move on with life. I really respect the jobs you guys do during the day, I dont complain when you leave me with stuff, even if I could (really? the order for blood only came up at 430 and so you left it for me? Thanks. But ok, whatever) I would love the same courtesy from you.

-Using facebook to complain about your coworkers when your coworkers are your friends on facebook is really stupid.

Ahhhh I feel better. Awesome thread. I realize I sound like a bitter shrew but I really did mean it when I said I respect and enjoy working with most of my coworkers. I hope they enjoy working with me too :)

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Yes I got that full time job over you and I've only been here 7 months and you've been here 4 years. Maybe it's because I have a passion for what I do and because I love taking care of my patients. I don't call off and don't come into work all ****** off and blaming the world because my position was eliminated. Yes I did just graduate in 2011 and I am new nurse but that does not mean that I am not an asset otherwise why did I get hired? oh that's right I got it for "other" reasons. Yes I know the four of you have 20+ years nursing experience over me and I respect that, how about some mutual respect for me. New does not equal stupid!

Yes my husband has his own business and no we don't have any children and I don't need full time for the money. What you don't know is that I love my job and I need the benefits and I have bills and student loans and none of it is any of your business anyway!!

To the other four of you grown nurses close to retirement.....what are you waiting for; go now! You hate these patients?.....Really?.....It's time for you to go!!

And you assistants who think that you know more than me.... Go to nursing school and gain the experience that I have, then and only then can you comment or tell me how to do my job. Yes a degree actually means something!!!

Maybe I did it that way because of the nursing rationale behind it!!!

Yes I'm new and yes I will continue to be nice to you two-faced back stabbing hateful witches. No I'm not part of your stupid middle school click and NEWS FLASH...I don't want to be!

Yes my patients and families love me and yes they are upset when I'm not working tomorrow, get over it! Ask yourself why are they not upset when they find out you're not working tomorrow? Perhaps some personal reflection and desire to change how you treat people will result in patients being upset that your not there.

It's called jealousy and it rears its ugly head everyday. Yes I know you ALL hate me because I got the FT position over her. I didn't hire me and I must have done something right to get it. Yes I can understand how she feels but no that does not give her or you the right to come to work and stand at the desk and tell me just what you think of me. Yes I know you are out to get me and are running to our mgr and telling her everything I do or say and twisting & contorting it, and jumping at the chance to write me up.

No I'm not Facebook friends with anyone I work with and you idiots are exactly the reason why!!

Finally, I'll leave on my terms not yours so go pound salt you malicious, disrespectful, divisive, negative, miserable goofs!!!

How cathartic, that felt great!!

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Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.
:roflmao: You needed to get that out - LOL!
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