Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 82

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More

  1. by   twistedpupchaser
    Had a Pt the other day there was a list of what I wanted to say:

    1/ I have seen women give birth to 14lb babies without that much screaming and carry on.

    2/ Why do you scream and carry on only when your wife is there or when you see the staff in front of your cubicle? (wife was massaging, soothing and generally slaving herself to this goose- all the time with tears in her eyes)

    3/ Should I tell your wife that you have refused 3 different pain meds because "They wont touch the sides"?

    4/ The Dr's don't see you as a priority because you are not!

    The diagnosis.........gout
  2. by   psalm
    Quote from twistedpupchaser
    Had a Pt the other day there was a list of what I wanted to say:

    1/ I have seen women give birth to 14lb babies without that much screaming and carry on.

    2/ Why do you scream and carry on only when your wife is there or when you see the staff in front of your cubicle? (wife was massaging, soothing and generally slaving herself to this goose- all the time with tears in her eyes)

    3/ Should I tell your wife that you have refused 3 different pain meds because "They wont touch the sides"?

    4/ The Dr's don't see you as a priority because you are not!

    The diagnosis.........gout


    YES!! Gout is very painful...that is why his doc ordered the pain meds. Wouldn't you love to tell this particular pt. to


    * Go home if you are going to refuse prescribed pain meds.

    * Your wife is trying to help you; grow up and take your meds.

    * If you enjoy feeling the pain you do, we can call for a psych consult...maybe get a commitment?

    * Here's a list of food you should not eat to avoid gout in the future. Now that you know the intense pain, I am sure
    you will be compliant.
  3. by   lisaksemt
    Reminds me of the diarrhea patient we had who refused to take Questran or Immodium because "it won't work anyway".

    I guess i should have said, "Let me get this straight. You're refusing medication, refusing to eat or drink anything, and you want to stay here so we can be called every ten minutes to clean up and document your bowel movements?"
  4. by   talaxandra
    Quote from Virgo_RN
    I'm sorry you got bumped for an emergent case, but the fact that you are not the emergency is a good thing, no?
    And "Well, that's the downside of being admitted to a major hospital - you get great service from very experienced staff but sometimes get bumped for trauma patients."
  5. by   elizabells
    "If the smell of smoke coming off you can knock me, who has smoked a pack a day for ten years, halfway off my feet and make me instantly nauseated when you come to visit your just-had-open-heart-surgery BABY, perhaps you should look into changing your shirt when you get here."

    Oh wait, I totally did say that. But, you know, nicer.


    Quote from Virgo_RN
    I'm sorry you got bumped for an emergent case, but the fact that you are not the emergency is a good thing, no?

    I have said that.
    I say this all the time. Sometimes it actually gets them to stop complaining for, oh, at least a minute and a half.
  6. by   Ivygal36
    Sorry.....I can't fix stupid.
  7. by   Skywalker
    All of you guys SCARE ME... lol...
  8. by   southernbeegirl
    Quote from rph3664
    My mom's been hospitalized a number of times, and the only time she ever heard anyone REALLY complain about the food was when she was in to have her tubes tied (back in the days when this was 3 days in the hospital) and her roommate was a 300-pound diabetic who was there because she wouldn't take care of herself. Well, OF COURSE she didn't like what they were giving her to eat!
    had a 350lb diabetic, in for IV antibiotics for cellulitis because he has so much edema he basically keeps cellulitis. while i was running his iv, he was on the phone ordering food from shoneys because we dont give him enough food.
  9. by   talaxandra
    One of my patients has chronic back pain - she's now 150k (~330lb), can only mobilise 5 steps (to her electric scooter), and has chronic cellulitis from injecting 120mg morphine 4/24, plus TDS IM midazolam and TDS IM diazepam. Despite this limited mobility she's able to get cans of Coke from the fridge (2-3/night) and chocolate biscuits from the drawers, though not the tea with 2 sugars she asks me for a couple of times a night.

    I want to say "Maybe your back pain would be a little better if you didn't have to move quite so much weight every time you change position. Cutting out the added sugar and fat will help stop you from having to move around even more."

    I do like her, and I'm certainly no poster girl for being tiny, but if that's just overnight... Cellulitis and diabetes isn't a great combination.
  10. by   Chixie
    look at your med chart, you are allowed meds(A and B) at W,X,Y and Z. You have already had everything prescribed and your PRN meds so stop ringing that bell before i insert it someplace the sun dont shine. And another thing, you are not getting morphine so stop begging, its kinda sad.


    To the relatives of patient in bed 4, im sorry but i cant give him back his call bell,dressing gown cord,belt or tie as he keeps trying to hang himself with them. No i also will not give him his shoes,book or flask back as he keeps throwing them at the nursing staff.


    One to the security guards, when you are summonded to the ward to find a patient holding a nurse in a head lock please do your job.
  11. by   SoundofMusic
    Can you tell me, please, WHY so you so hyper-focused on your bowels? I mean -- at some point, you're going to poop. It just can't go on forever. I know that when I'm in the hospital, I wouldn't want anyone giving me an enema -- why do you beg for it? You are only 40 -- not 80. I don't get it. You really like to poop, don't you? And how exactly do you get along at home without three different kinds of laxatives, 2 different types of enemas, and a bedside commode with a nurse getting you up to it almost 5 times every 8 hours? I mean -- how do you do it???
  12. by   SoundofMusic
    I have no idea where your doctor is at this moment, and No, I cannot "get him on the phone" for you to complain about your minor "back spasms" you all of a sudden decided you have in addition to the million dollar workup you're getting to rule out your other issues. Your doc will round when all the other doctors round, and he will be in here eventually. One doctor does NOT report into each and every nurse who is taking care of his 80 patients -- he truly does not. He also does not sit around all day waiting for us to call him about your hangnail -- I mean -- it's about the WAIT. And don't worry, when the time comes, you WILL be routed OUT of this place, as soon as is humanly possible. So, why don't you just lay back, enjoy the free room, TV, food service and nurse, and just go with the flow. Honestly, I'd give ANYTHING to be able to lie there for 3 days and do absolutely nothing but watch TV, eat, and be waited on. Why can't you just enjoy that? I mean, dude, I'd give ANYTHING to be able to do that -- what is so wrong about it?
  13. by   JBudd
    No, you cannot bring in your miniature pig to cheer up your daughter after her appy.
    Oh wait, he already did. And got thrown out.

close