Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 154

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More

  1. by   carolmaccas66
    One more to all the whingy patients who want to be babied:
    GROW UP ALREADY!
    and get a life.....please!
  2. by   pajoopie1
    Sad! If you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of the patients well. Take a break! the batch can wait!
  3. by   Alikat9
    Just once I would like to look at a patient and say..."Your lying and your vagina prooves it"...
  4. by   carolmaccas66
    Quote from Alikat9
    Just once I would like to look at a patient and say..."Your lying and your vagina prooves it"...
    This made me laugh! What does a vagina prove or disprove I would like to know?!
  5. by   Alikat9
    When clients come in with chlamydia over and over again and tell me their partner has been treated and they have not had sex without a condom. They are lying.
  6. by   annister
    Seriously? You have been hounding me and complaining about (insert "emergency" problem here) every 5 minutes for almost 12 hours, but you forgot to mention it to the MD who was just in here...and was getting on the elevator as I walked into your room? What the h*ll did you talk to him about anyway, seeing as this is all you've been able to think about all day up until your doctor made rounds? Will I just page him and tell him? No, no I sure won't.
  7. by   melinda23
    loving all of these...so true and funny!
  8. by   annister
    This is not the airport, there is no monitor at the nurses station displaying the scheduled time for your test, or the arrival of your doctor, along with any delays and cancellations. If there were, I'd be the first to know about it, followed by you and my job would be a little easier.

    I'm sorry, I guess I can see how you might think I am a magic 8 ball and not your nurse. Well, I'm not, and if you don't know what it is that you want, how can you expect me to? Hey, stop shaking me-didn't you hear what I said? Ok I give up, the answer is "maybe, try again later"

    Asking me the same question, to which I can't possibly know the answer, over and over will not suddenly get you the answer on a certain number of tries. It's not as easy as "how many licks does it take..."

    You don't have to justify your pain/request for pain meds to me. Whether you are acting, if I believe you, or you come full force with the theatrics and special effects matters not, as I am going to treat your pain based on what you say it is.

    How can I be "just a nurse" one minute, and some all-knowing being with all of the answers to your problems the next?
  9. by   thehipcrip
    Quote from annister
    You don't have to justify your pain/request for pain meds to me. Whether you are acting, if I believe you, or you come full force with the theatrics and special effects matters not, as I am going to treat your pain based on what you say it is.
    If all nurses felt the same way, no one would feel so compelled to justify their use of/need for pain meds. But because some of us have had to do battle to have our pain managed, we automatically begin with the reasons why we're pain. I've personally been refused any pain relief when I had to go to the ER for fractures of the right tibia and fibula that occurred just above the ankle." Based on My list of prescribed medications, My nurse decided I was a drug seeker who'd caused My injury deliberately just to get narcotics and was determined to give Me nothing even after the radiology tech came to her to report that she could not get images of lower leg until My pain was managed well enough to take the pain levels way down.

    Sorry to take this thread OT.
  10. by   rph3664
    Quote from Alikat9
    When clients come in with chlamydia over and over again and tell me their partner has been treated and they have not had sex without a condom. They are lying.
    Or that they are monogamous.
  11. by   rph3664
    Quote from Alikat9
    Just once I would like to look at a patient and say..."Your lying and your vagina prooves it"...
    Change "vagina" to "A1c"!

  12. by   NurseNina10
    One of my favorites is when patients/family members forget you are a real person with real human feelings too.

    Speaking to your nurses in a cruel disrespectful manner will not earn you brownie points nor encourage them to give you pain medication on time (according to our policy we still have an hour before hour AFTER for scheduled meds )... Also please reconsider making a nurse cry, many RN's are very territorial and if you make one of us cry you will have a floor full of nurses that want your head...
  13. by   NurseNina10
    An example of something I DID tell my pt today (hopefully I'll get away with it... don't fire me Tammy if you are on this site and reading this )

    One of my pts today kept blaming everyone else for his alcoholism and drug overdose ("well my wife made me do it... My girlfriend must have made me swallow all of those pills" (yes he said that... )). He also kept saying "Do you know how hard it is to be an alcoholic... Do you know how hard it is to be married to some crazy woman for 30 years" (which makes me wonder why he has a girlfriend on the side if his wife is too much... just sayin')?
    **By the way I am censoring this A LOT**
    Anway, after about 11 hours of this the wife shows up and he starts to cuss her out (in front of their 18 year old son), THAT was more than I could handle. I calmly went over, closed the door behind the wife and told him to "shut it". He gets upset and starts to yell at me saying again "do you know how hard it is to be married this long"? Without missing a beat I reply "No sir, I don't, I haven't been alive for that long, however MY parents got divorced after ten years of marriage because my dad cheated on my mom and was an alcoholic. I do have the slightest inkling of what you are going through and don't appreciate your assumtions that your life is the worst in the world. I have seen innards become outtards, I have seen blood come out of every orifice of a person, I have cracked ribs in codes, I have had every single possible bodily fluid on me at some time or another, I have seen life, I have seen death and I am only 23 years old. I have been to Africa and seen starving innocent children die, I saw a man get hit by a car and no one really care and leave him there for dead, I have seen a husband be unfaithful and give HIV to his wife and unborn child and guess what, SHE was blamed and ostracised!! I don't appreciate you speaking to your wife that way and I don't appreciate you talking to me the way you have for the past 11 hours"! I do believe that got his attention because he started to turn a very strange shade of red and it seemed that he was about to yell something else but I was not finished yet... "Since my parents got divorced when I was still in elementary school my dad had time to straighten up his act and be there for us. You have an 18 year old son that has been listening to your excuses and placing blame on others all day, what sort of example are you setting for him? Sir, I hate to be so blunt with this particular matter, however, you have royally ****** me off by YELLING obscenities at your wife in front of your 18 year old son and myself, a lady. Again, I ask, what sort of example are you setting for him?"
    After my rant/tirade, I left the room feeling as if I lost control and should go apologize. The wife came up to me after nursing rounds and said thank you for steping in because he has been bullying her for 30 years and she felt empowered to stand up for herself.

    I may have lost my cool but it ended up being a good thing in this situation. I am very very very glad that I did actually tell my patient what I wanted him to hear and as far as I know I will get away with it... and if not, oh well, I know what I did empowered a verbally abused wife for a short time which to me is worth getting written up over... again Tammy if you are reading this, please focus on the last part about empowering a verbally battered wife

    OOHH PS to any student reading this: DO NOT think this is a good form of therapeutic communication... this will definitely get you an F in that class...

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