Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 12

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling and hurling obscenities at me... Read More

  1. 0
    I have a resident I would LOVE to say that too. They are so rude as to provoke a bad response from any and all staff members. The neuropsych doc even exceeded his limit.

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  2. 6
    lol... what a fun thread!!

    ok... here is what i actually did say...

    "you are an you understand that?... you drank and did a lot of drugs and ran your truck into a brick what?. your paralyzed now from the waist down? you are an idiot!!! you should have been wearing your seatbelt and you should NOT have been drinking underage and driving!! "

    lol... he's an idiot...
    but actually really respects me now and requests me to be his nurse~~

  3. 12
    I ca give you this med through your IV or if you insist on irritating me every 10 minutes I will give it with this huge needle in your butt - your choice
  4. 10
    To a demanding family member on the phone: " No I cannot tell you the exact significance of the CT scan result, nor what the treatment should be; that is for someone with an 'MD' after their name to do. Your loved one is stable at the moment, he is watching television and talking on his cellphone. The doctor does not need to be called in right now, however he will be here in the morning. Perhaps you would actually like to be there to ask him questions yourself, rather than feeling like you are going to be the next 'Mother Theresa' simply by calling and talking to me once a day? I know you are busy, and so am I. My other patient is sick too, but I think he is in worse shape right now, as evidence by the ventilator he is hooked up to, along with the multiple medications needed to support his blood pressure. And yes, your loved one has indeed gotten all of his scheduled meds. I gave them and documented that myself. And no, you cannot just walk in here and look at his chart simply bc you are the POA. You will need to go through proper channels at this hospital to do that. You have a geat night too,... talk to you again this time tomorrow."
  5. 1
    Nice!! You think bedside nsg. is tough-give ER and prehospital a whirl:-)
    Hilinenursegrl likes this.
  6. 19
    How about when a patient comes in to the ED triage and gets huffy that they aren't taken straight back for toe pain that they've had for 2 months but all of a sudden its an emergency at 1:00am on a Tuesday morning and you have just had an arrest come through the trauma bay and a 35 year old guy having a STEMI? I think there ought to be a "Say what ever is on your mind day" for nurses,paramedics and doctors. Just take the filter off:"Hmmm....stop coming to the ED for a refill of your albuterol inhaler every week and telling me you can't afford refills when you have perfect acrylic nails on and smell like cigarette smoke. You are already a burden on society and you're only 25!!" Or
    "Stop first-naming me. I'm not stupid and I can see it's a poor attempt to threaten me so you can get your (fill in the blank):narcs, pillow,snack,or for me to wave my magic wand and make all the problems you've created for yourself over the past 20 years go away. I'm not your fairy godmother and if I was, I'd turn you into an even bigger toad than you already are. If you want a pillow, blankets, softer mattress and the lights dimmed, go to Holiday Inn"
  7. 21
    I work on a very nice, less than 5 yo Tele unit in a fairly large hospital. All private rooms, but some are "short-stay" smaller rooms, closer to the nurses stations, reserved for our more confused pts
    We often get things like, "why can't mama/pa-paw/maammmawwww (or whatever these people call each other) have a big room? with a winda?"

    Well, frankly mammaw spends most of her nights trying to get out of bed, pull out her foley, rip out the fourth IV she's had today, or screaming and yelling "HELP" and "CAROLIIIINE" or other nonsense. No, I will not take off her wrist restraints unless there is someone in the room with her. We do not have the extra staff for a sitter, and from what I hear, mammaw is just plain sick of those "Fraiser" reruns late at night! Even haldol doesn't make it funny.

    I also had a pt tell me last night that at (insert crummy outlying hospital in rural area that always sends us reallll winners), the nurse sat by her bed all night and stroked her forehead. What? Okay, either they are severely overstaffed, they gave you some kind of goofy juice and you hallucinated it all, or you're making it up. Lady, I have 6 other patients- you are 54 years old and if you (her words) "can't make it alone for less than 15 minutes without getting scared and crying", I do not have a clue how to help you. consult BH? xanax? no, she won't take pills. okay. It's 2am and I'm peeking in to make sure you're pink warm and breathing like you were at midnight, you havent used your call light all night. check. Come morning, I come in to give you 6am meds and youre squalling like a newborn, swearing that I left you alone and cold, alllll night on your own. I'm sorry, was that your HUSBAND that's sleeping on a cot next to your bed last night? Yeah, he was up talking to us at the station around 4am, telling us what a great floor this is, and how he has to leave to get to work on time at 6am. Nice guy. You? It's called coping. Don't have so much plastic surgery and you wont be in the hospital so much. :trout:

    Thank you if you made it to the end. Sorry it was so long. Ohhhh that felt goooood! party!
    Last edit by pattycakeRN on Dec 19, '07
  8. 5
    Quote from BabyScanner82
    Oh my god I am glad to see this thread up here. I have just started a new job at a hospital. I have been here for about 2 mths now as a patient tech in a Cardiac unit. It a freakin madhouse and I'm really wondering if I made the right choice about working there. The patients are SO NEEDY AND DEMANDING!!!! It blows my mind every night to hear them talk to the staff the way they do. Here would be my list of what I'd love to say to them:

    1) Oh, I'm sorry, did the sign outside say the Ritz Carlton on the door? Because the last time I checked this is NOT a resort it's infact a hospital and your prognosis is going to require a little effort on your part.

    2) Why is it that when I ask your 300 pound butt to stand up on a scale you are tired and need me to throw out my back assisting you? But when you need that chocolate chip cookie on your table you suddenly have the strength of SuperMan?

    3) As if it wasn't bad enough that Spanish is becoming the primary language in this country, I get the traditional stare of confusion when I ask important questions to patients who don't speak English. Now unless I had a freak accident while traveling, I wouldn't sit in a hospital in France and keep talking in English because they wouldn't understand me now would they? Why am I the only one who finds this disturbing?

    4) Just because your family member sneezed, or sniffled doesn't mean I'm going to drop what I'm doing to rush to their side!!

    5) This one is my personal favorite, every shift I hear numerous complaints about how bad the food is. What I would give to tell one of these patients, your in a hospital, not a hotel. That food you were eating that put on that extra 100 pounds may be the very reason your lying in that bed with shortness of breath!!! I guess that would just be an anwser with too much logic now wouldn't it?

    6) Im completely aware you need a bed change from excessively sweating. Again maybe it's the fact that your 300 pounds?

    I know many of you may read this and think I am insincere, but the simple truth is many patients I take care of could turn their health around if they lost some weight. It comes down to responability pure and simple. As you know heart disease is the #1 cause of death in women and many of these patients are so heavy they haven't seen their crotch in 10 years because of the belly hangin over it. Thanks for the rant.
    Honey...I've been a nurse for 16 years and can tell you that it IS worth the aggravation, most of the time. Just smile sweetly and do what ever it was you were doing in the first place. Most people are too lazy or stupid to carry out with their threats. Furthermore, it's been my experience that the ones who do the loudest yelling are the same ones that know they themselves are dead wrong, have done something they shouldn't have,or know they in general, are a major pain.
    Last edit by donsterRN on Dec 21, '07 : Reason: Brief profanity
  9. 5
    What part of "only 1 mg Ativan" is it that you don't understand?
    carolmaccas66, SNIXRN, ohioSICUrn, and 2 others like this.
  10. 5
    Quote from gingersdad
    What part of "only 1 mg Ativan" is it that you don't understand?

    Amen to that!! Had a pt the other night say "why am I only getting 1 mg of morphine?" Umm... bc that's what the doctor ordered?? Why dont you take it up with him in the morning. And if you remember correctly, 1 mg is what I have been giving you the last 3 days.

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