Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it.

[AngelfireRN]

Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight.

I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave.

Yelling and hurling obscenities at me will not get you your pain meds any sooner than they are ordered. Nor will having your family member or entourage do the same.

Threatening lawsuits and having umpteen family members camp out in the halls or hold up the nurse's station will not get you preferential treatment.

Physically grabbing me as I go down the hall is NOT a good idea.

I do not give the orders, but I do have to follow/enforce them. This is something that you should take up with your doctor.

No, I will not call him again to ask him for more pain medicine. He has been called twice and has said no both times.

No, I will not give you his number so you can "straighten him out".

No, you are not my only patient, and I highly doubt that you are single-handedly paying my salary. On the off chance that you are, let's talk about a raise.

NO, NO, NO, I most empahatically will NOT come get you when it is time for your next pain shot while you are having a smoke break. I also will not bring it to you in the smoking room. (Have actually said that, I am allergic to cigarettes. I did it once, had an asthma attack, desatted to 83, and turned blue, according to the patient and my charge nurse, after the patient had to help me back to the floor).

No, I don't really care if your family has not eaten all day, they drove here by themselves, they are not sick, and no, I will not call for 6 guest trays. (This of course, is if the patient in question does not need all 6 family members present, and is not at death's door).

No, you may not have 3 six-packs of soda from the kitchen, there are other people that would like a snack, too.

No, they will not open up the kitchen up just for you, at 1 in the morning, because you don't like the snacks we have on the floor.

I could think of hundreds, but those will do for a start. I know it sounds mean, but this is why I got out of bedside nursing. When a hospital becomes the Hilton, I'm gone!

Have fun!

[SaintsFan1]

dbsn00 said:

No I won't get your husband a Tylenol and no I won't change your disabled incontinent family members brief.....YOU are my patient and we're not running a 2 for 1 special today.........Thank you, exit left.

:yeahthat: Do we work at the same place?

OMG! A few years ago, I actually had a pt who asked me to change her incontinent family member's brief as soon as I had completed her care--she asked as I was finishing a complete bed change because she couldn't quite reach her call light which was on the bed right beside her. What threw me for a loop was that my charge nurse actually told me to go ahead and provide the care for the family member!

Said it was good PR!!

[Valerie Salva, BSN, RN]

blueheaven said:

One of my patients had the gonads to say to me one night that the reason I didn't answer his call light quick enough was because I didn't want to take care of black people. and called me a racist! PULEEZE! Let me tell you, I shut the door and I laid him out like a parking lot!! I proceded to tell him, in case he hadn't noticied that the patient in the bed next to him had arrested and we were attempting to save his life and WE did not think that getting him a glass of water in the middle of a code blue was on the priority list. :trout:

Did he have the decency to apologise or at least shut up after that?

I had a frequent flyer who was hispanic, and kept telling us we were not seeing him first because we were racist.

Well, all the other pts and nearly all of the staff were hispanic, too. Hello!

[Jo Dirt]

AuntieNursey said:

Why? You provide professional, caring, empathic nursing care in any environment. You assist them with as much of the medical care and emotional support as you can. LTC folks are so much more than their diagnosis and condition(s) and if you can make an impact in their lives, no matter how small or (seemingly) insignificant it does make a difference in their quality of life. Yes, I agree folks who only visit 1 or 2 x's a year can make life difficult, both in loudly c/o issues they know nothing about (due to their lack in involvement at other times of the year) and in upsetting some of the residents when they suddenly appear and then disappear again. It's kind of a "walk a mile in my shoes" deal as well, guilt can be a killer and I can only imagine that these folks feel guilty about putting a parent in a home and can't face them. Lots of reasons/excuses/procratinations but it all boils down to helping when and where you can and not being any more judgemental than your karma can handle. :balloons:

I know there are families who only care about coming to see Mom or Dad when they know an incident report for a skin tear has been filed and they come looking to see if a lawyer can make a case out of it. I also know that, just because a person is old, this doesn't automatically induct them into sainthood. They may seem like such a sweet little old harmless person now, but we don''t know what they were like when they were younger. It may be they were nasty people and now they are old and helpless and feeble but past hurts die hard and perhaps the only reason family comes to visit even twice a year is out of a sense of duty.

I don't pass judgement on a family who won't come to see their relative unless when they do they turn it into a chance to bash nursing staff.

[RN.38SPCL]

motorcycle mama said:

I know there are families who only care about coming to see Mom or Dad when they know an incident report for a skin tear has been filed and they come looking to see if a lawyer can make a case out of it. I also know that, just because a person is old, this doesn't automatically induct them into sainthood. They may seem like such a sweet little old harmless person now, but we don''t know what they were like when they were younger. It may be they were nasty people and now they are old and helpless and feeble but past hurts die hard and perhaps the only reason family comes to visit even twice a year is out of a sense of duty.

I don't pass judgement on a family who won't come to see their relative unless when they do they turn it into a chance to bash nursing staff.

Yes, I work in a jail and they just booked in a very small, frail looking 81 yr old male with child molestation charges. Alot of the LTC patients have vile histories you know nothing about. I have found that the child molesters are the biggest whiners, seem to have the most subjective illnesses, and take the most meds.

[santhony44, MSN, RN, NP]

motorcycle mama said:

I know there are families who only care about coming to see Mom or Dad when they know an incident report for a skin tear has been filed and they come looking to see if a lawyer can make a case out of it. I also know that, just because a person is old, this doesn't automatically induct them into sainthood. They may seem like such a sweet little old harmless person now, but we don''t know what they were like when they were younger. It may be they were nasty people and now they are old and helpless and feeble but past hurts die hard and perhaps the only reason family comes to visit even twice a year is out of a sense of duty.

I don't pass judgement on a family who won't come to see their relative unless when they do they turn it into a chance to bash nursing staff.

This is very true. The person doesn't necessarily have to be a child molester or physically abusive, either. Some may have been verbally abusive, have played favorites among the children/grandchildren, been difficult/demanding, or otherwise have said or done things to create difficulties in the relationship.

There are also situations in which being around parents is difficult just due to negativity and complaining about everything.

Sometimes the elderly are reaping what they've sown, relationship-wise.

[rph3664]

RN.38SPCL said:

Yes, I work in a jail and they just booked in a very small, frail looking 81 yr old male with child molestation charges. Alot of the LTC patients have vile histories you know nothing about. I have found that the child molesters are the biggest whiners, seem to have the most subjective illnesses, and take the most meds.

I've heard plenty of stories about elderly men (sometimes women too) engaging in inappropriate behavior, and it was not a lifelong habit but was rather a symptom of dementia.

Those to me are probably the saddest cases of abuse - they really CAN'T help it.

[rn undisclosed name]

Had a patient once deny to me he was in the room smoking and he kept closing the door. I wondered why he kept closing the door. Patient also complained to me while wearing oxygen that he didn't understand why he kept gasping for breaths (this was before I found out he was smoking). So the aide tells me he was in the room smoking and she could tell by the smell and confronted him which the pt adamantly denied. I thought the room smelled funky but wasn't sure why.

Now this actually happened and is not something I wished I would have said. I confronted him about smoking which he denied. I went with it. He proceeded to tell me he had a BM and it smelled badly so he lit a piece of toilet paper on fire to get rid of the smell. Umm, ok so you think I was born yesterday. I can be gullible at times but this is a bit over the top. I stated regardless if you are smoking or lighting tp on fire you are putting every one of us at risk as well as yourself since you are wearing oxygen. Now you are complaining to me that you are having a hard time breathing. Let me tell you lighting tp on fire is not going to improve your situation. I will have security come up and remove your cigarettes/lighter/matches if I even suspect you try this again.

[MyMysMum]

I would love to tell patients: "You most certainly do not need another pain pill. What you really need is detox or rehab!" Although I know pain is subjecive, I have a very hard time dealing with drug seekers. We have all had patients that have such serious injuries and only ask for a Tylenol when they in horrible pain and others that are begging for Morphine long before the next dose is due.

Although this is not to a patient, I would also love to tell smoking nurses and RTs that they are hypocrits. I guess that they are giving those of us that don't smoke job security. Please be better role models for your patients.:plsebeg:

[twistedpupchaser]

I had a pt yesterday I wanted to ask if he carried on like that when he got the tattoo. Because if he did the tattooist would have ***** slapped him into next week.

[husker_rn, RN]

AngelfireRN said:

Don't have to be a nurse to state the (seemingly) obvious. Very good comment, but, boy do they get huffy. Saw one one time that I bet weighed 400 pounds, complained that she could "feel the metal in the bed (because she squished the mattress flat!), and yet sat in there, inhaling ice cream,wondering why her sugar was sky-high.

I had a 500 lb plus pt who wanted pulled up in bed. Told her I needed help, { I weigh in at 137 lbs }. She asked " Can't you do it ?" I really wanted to ask if she nticed she would make 4 of me. Tongue stoll has scar tissue.

[jessiern, BSN, RN]

1) When you are a family member visiting, do not shake the water pitcher at me and announce they have no water in that condesending tone. The water that is there currently is because of me, I'm the one that's been with the patient all day.

2) Pain is 20/10? Why were you asleep when I walked in?

3) You want to tell the "guy in charge" I refuse to let you drink water all day even though you are on a 1200 ml/day FR...Okay, let me page him. Actually, that doesn't count. Done that one. The hospital admin. called the doc to see if he would d/c the fluid restriciton :icon_roll

4) I'm sorry you don't like what is on your tray. We are a 35 bed hospital. That's all they cooked.

5) Please follow me down the hall to our hospice ward. I feel you need to see a sick individual so you will realize just how well off you are.

You know, I better stop. I could go on for days. In fact, next tiem I go to work, I'll probably be back

[jessiern, BSN, RN]

AngelfireRN said:

No, threatening to leave AMA will not make me bring what ever you want that it's not time for any sooner. I will, however, offer to help you pack.

But my god, please don't give me that glimmer of hope that I may be rid of your irritating tale unless you really mean it. I really can't take the let down.