Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 107

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More

  1. by   squeakykitty
    Quote from missyd1991
    Oh my gosh I love this posting! I don't think people realize how differnet they become when not feeling well. Some days you just want to scream at the top of your lungs to "put on your big boy/girl undies and deal with it" LOL.
    I've wanted to do this-----when I watch "COPS" on T.V. Some people can sure whine when they get arrested.
  2. by   squeakykitty
    Quote from PeachPie
    You keep threatening to sue us if you don't get you what you want RIGHT NOW. You know, lawyers cost fees unless you have a case that they'd be willing to take on, which you don't. You're just a whiny coward trying to get people to wait on you hand and foot. For a fraction of the cost of a lawyer, why not hire a maid or a private duty CNA? You'll be much more likely to get quicker service, although I severely pity anyone who has to wait exclusively on you for a whole shift.
    YES!!!!!
    I couldn't have said this better myself, and I truly hope that every whiner in the country gets to hear this.
  3. by   CandyGyrl1985
    I think that ALL call lights should come complete with instructions for each patients. We shall call it the DO's and Dont's of Calling - how to use the call bell within reason.

    Mr. X please excuse me if I do not bow down to you - when you ask me for my number - you dont want me anyways - I have 3 children, a couple of X's, thousands of dollars in student loans, and I eat-sleep and breath this facility.....
    And you sir - are married - self employed (yea right) - and nervous around needles.... no I do not think it will work. HA!


    Mrs. S please dont eat the soap! (Oh wait - I have said that!)
  4. by   pca_85
    "Oh don't you give me that dirty look. Yes, you do have to wait so that I can get three people to help me move you. Why? Well you're four feet tall and three hundred pounds. Ya know what else is four feet tall and three hundred pounds? The seven dwarfs duct taped together. Oh, but no, you aren't fat.......never use the F word....you even have the nerve to tell your 90 pound wife she's put on weight when she comes to visit. And brings you McDonalds. Even though you've had many heart attacks, your cholestorol and BP are through the roof, and you're pretty fat. Oh wait, mustn't say fat....well, congrads on your title as the world's first pregnant man."
  5. by   PinkRocksLikeMe
    ok i need a stab at this, i am a emt at a county jail and i get a lot of bs...

    1. please do not whine when i need to draw lab on you, or any other procedure that has the potential for minimal pain, i am sure the person that you just raped and tried to strangle was scared too!

    2. no, i will not give you another cup of a+d ointment for the 4th time this week, i know you are wacking off with it, buy your own from the store call!

    3. i know you are innocent....yes i believe that this time after 200 arrest you did not do it:icon_roll, i just say for the ones you didn't get caught for, this is payback.

    4. yes, you do have to have that state required tb shot and yes they did do it and such and such a county.

    5. if you hate this jail and the medical staff please feel free to get arrested somewhere else.

    6. if you are w/d'ing from herion and i need to do a iv please don't shy away, i know you have been down this road before, and no you cannot do it for me!

    7. no, i really don't need your labs the doctor ordered, i am just drawing your blood to plant at crime scenes when you **** me off!

    8. your mother can call all she wants to about her "little man" (actual wording) and how he needs such and such because his pcp suggest he has x, y and z done, sorry, 1st i cannot discuss your sons medical care and 2nd that mri he has been needing for 2 years prior is just not on the formulary.

    9. hate what meds we cannot give you, sorry, you certainly are not footing the bill!

    10. if you are high on pcp or meth and doctor orders an iv to ivp ativan :angryfire don't be surprised when i come in your cell and see you foaming at mouth and a look of satan on your face that i don't back my happy ass right out of your room and call said doctor and tell him he can come do it himself....!

    11. wow! your bp/bs is high, are you taking meds on the street as prescribed? no, you haven't seen a doctor in 2 years, wow, i cannot believe this is happening to you!

    12. your nauseated? hum...that case of beer and drugs you just swallowed probably did not help.

    13. "what the hell did you do to me" almost always comes a little bit after the nurse gives that narcan, hate to ruining your high.

    14. wow, your going to masturbate while i pass the pills out at night, jeez that's a new one.....i would put that up if i were you, just a tad embarassing on your part:d

    15. no you cannot "kick it" with me when you get out, knowing your criminal history and your medical history doesn't make you appealing in the least!

    ok i am done, bad month at work!

    jenn
  6. by   tattooednursie
    When the time has come for their PRN pain pill, and they were skipping up and down the hall giggling and laughing with everyone they come in contact with five minutes ago, a sudden 10/10 pain occurs. . ."Oh my, good dramatization. A little more practice, you'd win a grammy. Unfortunantly, I went into nursing, not show biz."
  7. by   Hoozdo
    Quote from pinkrockslikeme
    ok i need a stab at this, i am a emt at a county jail and i get a lot of bs...
    i work prn at a county jail and got a big kick out of your list!

    why is it that the meanest looking, tatooed up, penis pierced man will suddenly almost cry when it occurs to him that he is going to get an iv started?:d

    i once had a jail pt refusing his insulin for a few days. i asked him why. he said, "if i tell you, you will think i am a jack***" my reply, "that fact has already been established, now why are you refusing your insulin." explained dka to him and he became compliant.

    not worrying about press-gainey scores is one of the biggest perks to this job!
  8. by   K+MgSO4
    You need a shower sir. Sir you NEED a shower you are 180 kg have been in hospital for 3 days and not showered or shaved. You need a shower or the PT and docs will not come into. I dont care if there is a drought. We wont shower anyone else today so you can use all the water you want. SIR I need you to take a shower you stink. There is no windows in this ward so all the smells hang around and you smell. Get you lazy backside out of that bed and get in the bathroom. (to a SMELLY guy admitted with URTI saO2 97% ra non productive cough afebrile for 24 hr. Had spiked the day before so that just added to the aroma)
  9. by   PinkRocksLikeMe
    "i work prn at a county jail and got a big kick out of your list!"

    girl please i feel you on the dka, we just usually tell them if you plan on being with a woman, or a man for that matter, if you cannot get it up, you may remember that little talk we had about your diabetes and the constant hi readings on the meter because you must have your honey buns from store call......!
  10. by   pca_85
    Oh, to the guy who hurt himself doing something stupid involving an ATV and lots of drugs:If you are healthy enough to attempt a quicky in the hospital bed with your girlfriend before your wife shows up, you are healthy enough to fluff your own damn pillows!
  11. by   squeakykitty
    i love this list, especially no. 5. funny how they're always "innocent". i also noticed around in my area, every time someone complains the cops are corrupt, they almost always can answer yes if i ask them if they've been arrested.
    Quote from pinkrockslikeme
    ok i need a stab at this, i am a emt at a county jail and i get a lot of bs...

    1. please do not whine when i need to draw lab on you, or any other procedure that has the potential for minimal pain, i am sure the person that you just raped and tried to strangle was scared too!

    2. no, i will not give you another cup of a+d ointment for the 4th time this week, i know you are wacking off with it, buy your own from the store call!

    3. i know you are innocent....yes i believe that this time after 200 arrest you did not do it:icon_roll, i just say for the ones you didn't get caught for, this is payback.

    4. yes, you do have to have that state required tb shot and yes they did do it and such and such a county.

    5. if you hate this jail and the medical staff please feel free to get arrested somewhere else.

    6. if you are w/d'ing from herion and i need to do a iv please don't shy away, i know you have been down this road before, and no you cannot do it for me!

    7. no, i really don't need your labs the doctor ordered, i am just drawing your blood to plant at crime scenes when you **** me off!

    8. your mother can call all she wants to about her "little man" (actual wording) and how he needs such and such because his pcp suggest he has x, y and z done, sorry, 1st i cannot discuss your sons medical care and 2nd that mri he has been needing for 2 years prior is just not on the formulary.

    9. hate what meds we cannot give you, sorry, you certainly are not footing the bill!

    10. if you are high on pcp or meth and doctor orders an iv to ivp ativan :angryfire don't be surprised when i come in your cell and see you foaming at mouth and a look of satan on your face that i don't back my happy ass right out of your room and call said doctor and tell him he can come do it himself....!

    11. wow! your bp/bs is high, are you taking meds on the street as prescribed? no, you haven't seen a doctor in 2 years, wow, i cannot believe this is happening to you!

    12. your nauseated? hum...that case of beer and drugs you just swallowed probably did not help.

    13. "what the hell did you do to me" almost always comes a little bit after the nurse gives that narcan, hate to ruining your high.

    14. wow, your going to masturbate while i pass the pills out at night, jeez that's a new one.....i would put that up if i were you, just a tad embarassing on your part:d

    15. no you cannot "kick it" with me when you get out, knowing your criminal history and your medical history doesn't make you appealing in the least!

    ok i am done, bad month at work!

    jenn
  12. by   psalm
    Quote from pca_85
    Oh, to the guy who hurt himself doing something stupid involving an ATV and lots of drugs:If you are healthy enough to attempt a quicky in the hospital bed with your girlfriend before your wife shows up, you are healthy enough to fluff your own damn pillows!

    Or said girlfriend ccan fluff them before she leaves...
  13. by   KittyK
    I work in Mother/Baby and get tired of women coming to have a baby and not having a car seat, expecting we will give them one. Most have cell phones, artificial nails, laptops and/or tattoos. We will give a car seat after a financial needs assessment at no or low cost, as determined by the social worker. One time a grandmother called our unit after the family left the hospital and asked if they could come back and exchange the car seat we gave them. Theirs didn't have a"visor" over the seat and they wanted one with a visor. I wanted to tell her, if you had bought the car seat at Wal-Mart and had the receipt you could exchange it. But since you got the car seat for free, that's what you get and you should be satisfied.

    This is one I actually said: One day a grandmother was proudly showing off the pretty clothes she bought for the grandbaby (at an expensive mall store). When I asked if they had a car seat, they said they didn't have one and needed us to give them one. I said, "You know, you would have better spent your money to buy a car seat rather than the fancy clothes!" When I said that I would be happy to call the social worker to do the financial needs assessment (standard procedure), they conceded they could use the one they had at home from the older sibling. Unbelievable!!

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