Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight.
I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave.
Yelling and hurling obscenities at me will not get you your pain meds any sooner than they are ordered. Nor will having your family member or entourage do the same.
Threatening lawsuits and having umpteen family members camp out in the halls or hold up the nurse's station will not get you preferential treatment.
Physically grabbing me as I go down the hall is NOT a good idea.
I do not give the orders, but I do have to follow/enforce them. This is something that you should take up with your doctor.
No, I will not call him again to ask him for more pain medicine. He has been called twice and has said no both times.
No, I will not give you his number so you can "straighten him out".
No, you are not my only patient, and I highly doubt that you are single-handedly paying my salary. On the off chance that you are, let's talk about a raise.
NO, NO, NO, I most empahatically will NOT come get you when it is time for your next pain shot while you are having a smoke break. I also will not bring it to you in the smoking room. (Have actually said that, I am allergic to cigarettes. I did it once, had an asthma attack, desatted to 83, and turned blue, according to the patient and my charge nurse, after the patient had to help me back to the floor).
No, I don't really care if your family has not eaten all day, they drove here by themselves, they are not sick, and no, I will not call for 6 guest trays. (This of course, is if the patient in question does not need all 6 family members present, and is not at death's door).
No, you may not have 3 six-packs of soda from the kitchen, there are other people that would like a snack, too.
No, they will not open up the kitchen up just for you, at 1 in the morning, because you don't like the snacks we have on the floor.
I could think of hundreds, but those will do for a start. I know it sounds mean, but this is why I got out of bedside nursing. When a hospital becomes the Hilton, I'm gone!
I change the pillow case sometimes if the person has been sweaty or had a wet wash cloth on forehead. It also helps to straighten out the linens while pt. is on the BSC or toilet.
But, yes, if you can do it yourself, you're ready to go home...
What I would so, completely, sincerely like to say:
Please go home. Please. People are calling out because you're still here and they can't stand looking after you and your temper tantrum histrionics for another night. Go home. Go to your home, someone else's home, anyone else's home, just go.
You want to leave AMA? Darn. Oh, no, it's not that you're leaving that's making me sad, I thought you'd last at least 15 minutes after the doc DC'd the narcotics. I picked 15 minutes in the pool, and you're AMA'ing out in 5 -- Sally won the money.
I once had a patient who demanded I let his wife stay at the bedside at all times. He then told me I had to go out (or send someone) to his favorite Chinese restaurant for take-out and then to the supermarket for some Cherry Garcia ice cream.
Oh will you look at that you have been BANNED from this hospital for life!
This happened to me this week:
I walked in to check on my patent and he was naked, doing God knows what, and I was a little shocked because I don't really expect my patients to be naked unless taking a bath and he says "Like what you see?"
What I wanted to say: "Heck no. I think I have been blinded and can never look at the male species ever again because you have grossed me out that much. I think I am going to puke."
I walked in to check on my patent and he was naked, doing God knows what, and I was a little shocked because I don't really expect my patients to be naked unless taking a bath and he says "Like what you see?"
What I wanted to say: "Heck no. I think I have been blinded and can never look at the male species ever again because you have grossed me out that much. I think I am going to puke."
As a friend of mine says in those situations, there go the last vestiges of my heterosexuality!
Specializes in Neuroscience/Neuro-surgery/Med-Surgical/.
Please have your kids stop running in the hallways and crawling all over the floors....this isn't a daycare. Do you realize what has been spilled on that floor today? EWWWWWW!
It's time to take some responsibility for your health, and stop blaming all the doctors and nurses, ok? Lose weight, TAKE your medication as prescribed, exercise, and see a therapist.
No, your visitors cannot come here to visit at 1am....do they come to your house to visit at such an odd hour?
No, I am not going to raid the fridge to supply your visitors with food and drink, because i am a nurse, not a waitress; and this is a hospital, not a restaurant. There is a cafeteria on the 2nd floor open 24 hours a day.
Patient states "gosh I know I am being a whiner (and they are BIG time); I would like to reply " yeah, ya think?!?!?"
My what colorful language you have! Did your mother teach you that?:roll
Oh will you look at that you have been BANNED from this hospital for life!
This happened to me this week:
I walked in to check on my patent and he was naked, doing God knows what, and I was a little shocked because I don't really expect my patients to be naked unless taking a bath and he says "Like what you see?"
What I wanted to say: "Heck no. I think I have been blinded and can never look at the male species ever again because you have grossed me out that much. I think I am going to puke."
There's only one way to answer that-----
"I don't know, let me find the magnifying glass so I can get a good look, then I'll tell you!"
As the years go on, I find that I'm saying more things to patients to shut them up. I get more complaints about the food and the comfort of the beds than anything else.
My reply to them is this: I'm sorry your bed/food is not to your satisfaction. But, I imagine that if the food was great and the beds were heaven to sleep on, people would never want to leave the hospital. Maybe there's a reason things aren't perfect!
My hospital has a real issue with visitors staying overnight. Mind you, there's only 5 cots and maybe 10 recliners in a 120 bed facility. So, people actually bring their own blankets and camp out on the floor. I would just love to get on the overhead speakers and announce, "We're sorry, the campground is closed for the evening. All those not in a bed need to leave at this time."
:yeah:
psalm, RN
1,263 Posts
I change the pillow case sometimes if the person has been sweaty or had a wet wash cloth on forehead. It also helps to straighten out the linens while pt. is on the BSC or toilet.
But, yes, if you can do it yourself, you're ready to go home...