I am an American.

[UnionRN2]

In the last staff meeting, NM states Dr. A has complained because the female nurses make eye contact with him. We were instructed to respect his (and other doctors) culture and NOT make eye contact or appear assertive. When asked to clarify assertive we were told assertive was "asking or suggesting something for the patients".

Excuse me! I am American and I am living in America! How come these doctors don't have to respect my culture? How come they don't have to respect me (I am a woman)?

Of course I will continue to make eye contact and I will continue to request things my patients need and I will continue to suggest things that the patient needs. I will continue to advocate for my patients. If the doc doesn't like it... tough crap. I live in America and have the rights afforded American women. I am not giving them up to stroke the ego of a bigot.

[PostOpPrincess, BSN, RN]

It's sad when people govern by inappropriate rules. The NM has lost her effectivity by giving into this--or by presenting it to you all this way.

I think there are better ways to "respect" people's cultures--I mean I can stand in "his shoes" and at least attempt to see it.

But am I going to change my ways of doing this?

No. The culture I am in promotes direct, effective eye-to-eye communication. I deal with too many physicians on a daily basis to remember who I can talk to directly or not. So no matter what is said--not so sure I can comply.

What the doctor is doing is creating a "hostile environment." There is research to support this. Perhaps the NM and the doctor needs to see the implication of their "'rules" on patient care.

The other answer I have is to buy the doctor a set of sunglasses. He can use it at work, have a special place for it just for him so he can leave it at work, and then when he sees his family and doesn't need to remind people that he "doesn't like eye to eye contact."

It's much to easier to fix one person than 300 million direct eye-lookers.

[SharonH, RN]

I would have made eye contact with the NM and then requested "I a written policy signed by yourself and the doctor stating we are not to ask for anything for patients, then I will happily comply."

Or you could just do what most do and pretend to care, then go about it with business as usual.

Biggest part of nursing that a lot of people don't get is when to listen to management, and when to pretend you are listening.

I hate this idea, it's passive-aggressive. Silence=acquiescence. The best thing to do is voice your disagreement with this request and do as you originally stated which is ask for policy. Make it clear that her edict is unacceptable. It would be nice if entire staff stuck together on this one but what usually happens is one person speaks out and the rest sit there quietly then ***** and complain when NM is out of earshot.

[SharonH, RN]

The other answer I have is to buy the doctor a set of sunglasses. He can use it at work, have a special place for it just for him so he can leave it at work, and then when he sees his family and doesn't need to remind people that he "doesn't like eye to eye contact."

It's much to easier to fix one person than 30 million direct eye-lookers.

lololol.........

[Nascar nurse, ASN, RN]

If people would stop looking for things to get offended by, the world would be a MUCH easier and pleasanter place to live in.

I posted this same thing on another tread not 30 minutes ago.

[RosesrReder, BSN, MSN, RN]

Bwahahha JoPACURN. Briliant!

[LuxCalidaNP]

I wonder what you might say in Nicaragua, getting cat-called by all the male docs, and when you asked for a change, they responded, "We're Nicaraguan! This is our country! We don't have to humor your culture!"

Just saying....it goes both ways.

[fungez]

If these were directed towards female nurses only, you might have a good case for sexual discrimination.

[eriksoln, BSN, RN]

I would suggest he find another job that doesn't entail making eye contact or talking to nurses. Because his culture needs are interfering with patient care. Maybe in a lab somewhere doing research? He picked a field that violated his cultural beliefs, not the nurses problem. HE made a choice. A patient does not, so I would respect their beliefs as long as it didn't interfere with care.

Would be a shame if he were an eye doctor.

I think he could do welding.....with that big face shield eye contact wont be an issue.

[HyperSaurus, RN, BSN]

Although I have a bad habit of making and keeping eye contact continuously throughout an entire conversation-makes people nervous for some reason-I would be perfectly ok with minimizing eye contact out of respect for culture. HOWEVER, I would take issue with being required to 'avoid being assertive'. I may be wrong, but what I've learned so far in nursing school is that it is part of our job description to be assertive for the patient's benefit. (Read: assertive, not aggressive or antagonizing). I probably would do what the OP (I think it was the OP at least) thought about doing, and asking for a written policy regarding assertiveness to cover my butt.

[TabithaB]

A team of us once had issues with a doctor from another country being really inappropriate all in the name of his culture.

One day he tried to treat me like a piece of cattle so i had another doctor of the same nationality tell him what would happen to him if he continued to treat the female nurses this way...........let's just say he became more culturally appropriate to his surroundings!!!

Never found out what the female doctor said to him but i will never forget her smile afterwards!!!!

[Intern67]

I wonder what you might say in Nicaragua, getting cat-called by all the male docs

I would say, "What am I doing in Nicaragua and when is the next flight outta here!?"

[fungez]

I wonder what you might say in Nicaragua, getting cat-called by all the male docs, and when you asked for a change, they responded, "We're Nicaraguan! This is our country! We don't have to humor your culture!"

Just saying....it goes both ways.

You're saying all the docs in Nicarugua harass all the females around them? Seriously?