I am an American.

[UnionRN2]

In the last staff meeting, NM states Dr. A has complained because the female nurses make eye contact with him. We were instructed to respect his (and other doctors) culture and NOT make eye contact or appear assertive. When asked to clarify assertive we were told assertive was "asking or suggesting something for the patients".

Excuse me! I am American and I am living in America! How come these doctors don't have to respect my culture? How come they don't have to respect me (I am a woman)?

Of course I will continue to make eye contact and I will continue to request things my patients need and I will continue to suggest things that the patient needs. I will continue to advocate for my patients. If the doc doesn't like it... tough crap. I live in America and have the rights afforded American women. I am not giving them up to stroke the ego of a bigot.

[kty1]

I think NocturneRN's point is though, that you'd need to know that it was the norm before you could comply.

That's just the point, all dr's, nurses that travel outside their country are given documents, classes, etc that are the norms for the particular country they are relocating to. If the dr. had a problem he could have talked with someone about it, but to report it to the OP's supervisor was wrong. He could have just as easily talked to a peer to get advice on the issue or go over the packet that was given to him.

[kty1]

i don't believe the op ever came back which really makes me wonder about this......

i work at a university with a medical school and graduate schools. we have many international students and professors from the countries that have this kind of culture. i have never had any request to modify my behavior and have had wonderful working relationships. and many were md's in their country. i treat them as i would anyone else of any other culture. if anything they just kind of act a little shy when they 1st get here, but then they get over it.

i agree, as i also have had wonderful experiences dealing with all cultures. however, there are some dr's. (as noted in op) that can be very rude and indifferent of other cultures outside their own and have no problem letting you know as i've witness this with a middle-aged dr. who had been in america for several years and still "talked down to several of our nurses". however, i think he met his match when he was confronted with the nurse supervisor on duty that day.

good post crunchrn!

[moma8gma1]

Why haven't we heard from the OP since she started this thread? I'd love an update! :)

[nursel56]

Who walks off a plane in another country assuming that all other countries are exactly like their own country? You'd have to have been inside an info-black zone for your whole life to think that. Even in countries that restrict the free flow of information the state-run media will contrast itself to other countries so the populace will know who to wish death to.

[CFitzRN, ADN]

Who walks off a plane in another country assuming that all other countries are exactly like their own country? You'd have to have been inside an info-black zone for your whole life to think that. Even in countries that restrict the free flow of information the state-run media will contrast itself to other countries so the populace will know who to wish death to.

I literally laughed out loud.

[fantasia ME]

Very interesting. I always wondered about this too. Eye contact is important to Americans but offensive to other cultures. I agree. Why should some people put their culture aside to respect other peoples culture. It is going to be very difficult for me to communicate with a person that does not accept eye contact. I can never carry a conversation without eye contact. I have talked to some arabic and chinese people about their culture related to eye contact; and they said it is okay to look at them in the eye, but just for a sec, they just don't like it when people stare at them while talking.

first iam arabian and we do not dislike eye contact , helloooooooooo

if u came to our countries u will know the real us not what u see of crap in tv and in anywhere else

now for u lady i think there is nothing wrong with eye contact so basically the guy is nutts , how can u talk with him and u cant look at him , i wonder how his mind work that if he has one

and thats it thank u 4 sharing ur story

to all please dont judge any country based on 1 person u met :)

[Stuart1962]

The guy is a looser..........:mnnnrsngrk:

[carolmaccas66, BSN, RN]

A friend told me an interesting story not long ago. She had worked in Saudi Arabia (can't remember where exactly), and one day they were told to quickly leave what they were doing and bow their heads so they were touching the ground! The King was coming around to inspect all the staff and all his hospitals as he owns them all. She told me it was kind of weird, but nice in a way, though she wasn't allowed to look him in the face or talk to him (except if he spoke to her). All the patients just got left on their own! She said: When in Rome, do as the Romans do - something this doctor has to learn.

I wouldn't mind an update either to see what happened. Maybe there was a riot!

[Not_A_Hat_Person, RN]

I'm not sure if anyone else has mentioned this, but there of plenty of places in America where making eye contact with anyone is a bad idea.

[kalevra, BSN, RN]

Where at NOT_A_HAT_PERSON? I have lived all over the west, east and southern regions of the U.S. If you don't look someone in the eye when you shake their hand and talk to them it's kinda disrespectful.