Do you stand up for yourself to patients? - page 2

I am just shocked with a conversation I had with a co-worker. I had a pt family member that was being rude and I asked the family member to stop talking to me that way (nicely). I was relaying... Read More

  1. Visit  ianursing22 profile page
    4
    I will never allow patient/patient's family to inflict any type of abuse on me, whether physical, verbal or whatever it is!If they have rights, I also have mine as a nurse! Nobody should allow themselves to be abused, nurses or not!
    CareQueen, nursel56, LTCNS, and 1 other like this.
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  3. Visit  LadyFree28 profile page
    1
    Quote from BARNgirl
    Dear felow nurses:

    Please do not use your facility's position as a point of reference on how you should deal with abusive people in the workplace any more than you would care about whose side your boss would take if your partner physically abused you. It does not matter. Abuse is abuse, you will not be fired if you set your boundaries professionally and calmly. Let your documentation depict an objective description of the altercation, use quotes. It is the only ally you need. Supervisors and bosses are not there for you emotional support, let alone to be your friends: they represent the hospitals as a business, and "the client is always right".

    Signed,
    Been there, stopped that.
    :applause:

    Thank You!!
    Mermaidblues likes this.
  4. Visit  SoldierNurse22 profile page
    1
    Quote from BARNgirl
    Supervisors and bosses are not there for you emotional support, let alone to be your friends: they represent the hospitals as a business, and "the client is always right".
    ^^Sad, wrong and oh so TRUE!
    janhetherington likes this.
  5. Visit  JBudd profile page
    5
    Staying very calm, and refusing to escalate with them is the starting point. Stay absolutely professional. I get guys in who use "f' this and that every other word. I just say, "mind your manners now" and it stops them a good bit of the time.

    When it is directed at me personally, I start with "I am being respectful toward you, and I expect you to be the same". It may take a few times, but often works. Setting limits does not have to be a major confrontation, and is very much part of being a good nurse.

    I find myself using my "mama said so!" voice, especially with those under the influence, and it works. WHen it doesn't, and things are going downhill, safety first and leave.

    Our charges often start the shift pep talk with, if someone is getting mad and starting to yell, just leave and get them, they are there to take the heat.
    BARNgirl, opossum, nursel56, and 2 others like this.
  6. Visit  mariebailey profile page
    3
    I totally agree with you that it is necessary to set boundaries to have a therapeutic relationship; it doesn't do the patient any good to allow them to be verbally abusive. It's not all on us either. I will go to someone above me if the patient will not observe the boundaries I set.
  7. Visit  SaoirseRN profile page
    9
    Quote from GrnTea
    We do meet people where we are and they are how we find them. However, that does not mean that you get "I Am A Doormat, Kick Me" printed on your forehead when you take a nursing position. It is very appropriate to use your therapeutic communication techniques you learned in school. Setting boundaries is perfectly acceptable."
    This. Being sick or scared does not give you the right to be rude. I'm going to redirect you, because I will not tolerate it.

    There is a difference between ranting to the universe and taking your frustrations out on a convenient target. I will not be that target, and I don't find it acceptable to make myself available for verbal abuse just so someone gets it out of their system.

    I will say something, whether the person is being rude to me, to a coworker, and sometimes to another family member or a family member to my patient.

    What GrnTea said is true. Sometimes people need to be redirected in their anger -- often it'll open the door for them to actually talk about what is bothering them, or they will realize how poorly they have behaved and apologize. At the very least, it sets a boundary with people.

    I'm here to help, and my job doesn't include being a verbal punching bag.
  8. Visit  CapeCodMermaid profile page
    10
    I try to intervene if my staff is being verbally abused. I march into the room with as much attitude as my 5'3" size allows and ask the screamer to come speak with me in a private place. I've called the police on occasion when a family member was over the top, I've used humor, and I've walked away from family members and patients if they were screaming at me. We are professionals and we do not have to allow ourselves to be treated in this manner.
    crazy oldnurse, BARNgirl, Altra, and 7 others like this.
  9. Visit  nuangel1 profile page
    2
    i set boundaries and defend myself.i work ed and i am no ones doormat .i have been a nurse for 26 yrs just because someone is ill is no excuse for rude and abusive behavior from pt or family.
    nrsang97 and opossum like this.
  10. Visit  AngelfireRN profile page
    9
    My reputation precedes me...in most cases. I have no issue dealing with people, none at all. You do not come in my clinic and act like a horse's patoot.

    Most of my patients will settle a rumpus before I even arrive on the scene. But once I'm there, I may not weigh 130 dripping wet, and 5'5" is all the height I can pull together, but I have yet to meet the patient I can't handle. Never laid a hand on one. Rarely raise my voice. But I have chased one out the door a time or two. The local boys in blue met them on the sidewalk.

    People say our office is better than cable. On a bad day, I would say it's infinitely more entertaining.

    I don't tolerate abuse or even just a mouth, nor does my staff. We have too long of a waiting list to put up with turkeys who can't behave.
    canoehead, Altra, uRNmyway, and 6 others like this.
  11. Visit  redhead_NURSE98! profile page
    8
    I don't have a problem telling someone "you've never met me before and you don't need to talk to me that way." I've also walked out and told them that I'd come back when they could speak like an adult, I'm not here to be abused. At my place management may make it seem like they're siding with the patient or visitor, but they're really just kissing butt. They can go in the room and pretend like the patient/visitor is right all they want as long as they don't try to write me up.

    And God help the first AOX4 patient or visitor who physically threatens me. It hasn't happened yet. One day when I was charge there was a visitor who screamed at one of our nurses and stuck her hands in her face who's lucky she left the hospital fast before I got wind of it and called Metro.
    CareQueen, GrnTea, joanna73, and 5 others like this.
  12. Visit  SCTravelRN profile page
    2
    Abuse is not ok, and I am not having it! In my 16 yrs as a nurse, I can remember only 1 patient who really tried it. This was a 40-something racist to the bone quadraplegic. This man, who literally could not scratch his own butt if he needed to, would hurl the most offensive, disgusting, evil racial slurs imaginable when staff was not at his immediate beck and call or when things were not just as he wanted, when he wanted. On occasion he would even hawk the most vile lugees and try to spit in people's faces! Anyway, soon after introducing myself as his night nurse and attempting to gage his immediate needs, he started with the name calling. I informed him in my most professional (yet authoritative) way that I am here to care for him, however under no circumstance will I or my tech tolerate his abuse; verbal and most certainly not otherwise. I then left the room briefly to put the charge on notice that this man's issues went far deeper than me, and she may want to prepare for an assignment change. Upon my return, I picked up where I left off and provided his care. Needless to say, he did not have some miraculous change of heart or apologize, but we went the entire shift without further incident.
    opossum and anotherone like this.
  13. Visit  mariebailey profile page
    1
    Quote from BARNgirl
    Dear felow nurses:

    Please do not use your facility's position as a point of reference on how you should deal with abusive people in the workplace any more than you would care about whose side your boss would take if your partner physically abused you. It does not matter. Abuse is abuse, you will not be fired if you set your boundaries professionally and calmly. Let your documentation depict an objective description of the altercation, use quotes. It is the only ally you need. Supervisors and bosses are not there for you emotional support, let alone to be your friends: they represent the hospitals as a business, and "the client is always right".

    Signed,
    Been there, stopped that.
    Having someone above you step in and address an out of control situation is not using a boss for "emotional support". I have been yelled at by a patient before and been unable to calm her down. I decided the issue was better dealt with by management, and so I deferred to my boss. There is nothing wrong with that. Not all of us have your rockin' interpersonal skills.
    PunkBenRN likes this.
  14. Visit  SaoirseRN profile page
    5
    Quote from mariebailey
    Having someone above you step in and address an out of control situation is not using a boss for "emotional support". I have been yelled at by a patient before and been unable to calm her down. I decided the issue was better dealt with by management, and so I deferred to my boss. There is nothing wrong with that. Not all of us have your rockin' interpersonal skills.
    That's not what the poster meant. Obviously it is okay to have someone step in if need be. What the poster meant was don't let a "customer is always right" policy dictate whether or not you should take abuse from patients.
    redhead_NURSE98!, Altra, opossum, and 2 others like this.


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