Do I throw down the Gauntlet?

jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B · May 10, 2014

Do not personalize this. This is not about you personally. Bad behavior stinks. However, I would address said MD in a low, slightly monotone "do you have a question, Dr. (Tissue-for-your-issue)?" He goes off on a tangent, I'd look at him with a slightly amused expression (not that it is funny, just that he is ruining his rep right then and there) and again "Do you have a specific question, Dr?"

And if he continues, state "If you have a question, I would be happy to answer it for you, otherwise, I have patients" and walk away. Literally.

You could report this. Being a jerk is not something that facilities seem to put too much basis on, especially from MD's. Just don't buy into it by letting it upset you personally. If you have a patient that is under the care of this resident, then I would have everything available for him to look at in a glance. Not that you are humoring his nastiness, just that if it is right there, you don't have to interact with him more than needed.

And, I have to say, if you are well invested in this facility, and you have worked with the head of whatever department he is a resident for (surgery, perhaps?!?!?! HAHA KIDDING....or not.....) I would certainly have a discussion (with your charge also if that would work better) that perhaps you or the charge would like to drop a dime to the dept. head--depending if the doc is old school or not, they usually don't take too kindly to resident bullies. "Your boy is scaring all the new grads, he needs to rein it in a little" or some other comment depending on your familiarity with the MD in charge......

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · May 10, 2014

Just imagine him in his skivvies and realize that he is just an insecure little man trying to blaze his way in the world. Pity him...don't become angry. I NEVER let them under my skin...well almost never...LOL I will make the occasional "polite" statement to let them know their behavior is NOT acceptable. I have no problem reminding them that until they can communicate in an appropriate manner I have little to contribute.

Have you spoken to the attending?

suanna · May 10, 2014

I am not green at this- I've been dealing with cranky doctors for 30+ years. When pushed I can put on the best snarky-professional affect you can imagine. I just wanted to see if any nurse, anywhere, has taken a doctor, no matter what rank, to task about unacceptable attitude and ended up with a positive outcome. I think I'm just getting too old and too tired to go tilting at windmills. Maybe, in another 100 years, we will all work together for the good of the patients without power trips and posturing- but I'm not betting on it. (and I won't be around to see it).

caliotter3 · May 10, 2014

Sorry, you have to deal with this as your retirement getting closer. I have a short ways to go myself and am in a similar boat, dealing with unreasonable, condescending people who are also uneducated and ignorant. Haven't had to deal with a rude doctor for quite some time. Hope you can deal with this man with as little stomach churning as possible.

Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN · May 10, 2014

Yes, I think you have to throw down the gauntlet. I'm sorry, you're probably right that it's not going to have the outcome you'd like to see, but I think it's important to be consistent and follow "the process" if not for your sake, for those to follow when you are long gone. So maybe there will be less respect, but if less condescention and brow beating go along with that, I think that is all you can really hope to accomplish, and that might just have to be good enough.

nurseprnRN, BSN, RN · May 10, 2014

If you can give him chapter and verse on another physician you knew years before, who had a similar attitude and that found himself frozen out of good information and updates about his patients because the nurses just plain didn't want to deal with him, that puts it in his court to choose how much he wants to put himself at risk. :eek:

Creative writing is encouraged in this exercise. Make it all about your truly, truly caring deeply about him being successful and not wanting anything to get in his way (and try to keep a straight face while you do it) and you may make him reconsider his 'tude for his own good and advancement.

And I totally agree with going to his chief resident or attending. I have had great results with this. I have told this story before ...

All names changed...

My child was in a nationally-famous children's hospital after van-vs-bicycle trauma (thankfully no permanent disability, but it was a lousy couple of months). She had, among other painful things, a couple of JP drains in her leg. Her second post-op morning the Chief Resident in plastics, "Robert," came in at 0645 with the retinue of residents and students, pulled down her covers, yanked off her dressing to look at her wounds, whanged the JPs around a bit, slapped it back on haphazardly while calling for a nurse to replace it, and walked out without a word to her (by now in tears) or to me, who was right there in the room, standing at her bedside. I was speechless, but mad. So the next day, I said, it would be different.

0645 again. Crowd enters noisily in the door. Chief Resident reaches for covers. "Good morning, Susie. Is it ok if I look at your dressing?" That was me speaking. His hand froze in midair. I spoke again. "'Good morning, Susie. Is it ok if I look at your dressing?' That's what YOU say." He got very red, and the crowd behind his back looked sideways at each other.

Then he spoke. "Good morning, Susie. Is it ok if I look at your dressing?""

She said, "Yes, but please be careful not to move those tubes around so much because that really hurts."

He was noticeably more careful, put things back together nicely, and left without a word. A few of the retinue cast a glance backwards at us as they followed him.

Later that day the Chief of Plastics, the attending, one of those lovely physicians for whom nurses would walk barefoot over broken glass, dropped in during naptime. He sat with me and we spoke quietly in the dim light. "Heard you had some words with "Robert"," he smiled.

I answered, "I guess word gets around. I am sure if he's your chief he's really good technically, but he has a helluva lot to learn about bedside manner." He nodded, and said the students took the lesson. I saw that lovely man off and on in the course of my work for years afterwords, and he never failed to ask after her.

And "Robert" never entered the room again. I don't know if he rotated off the adolescent service or what, but never again.

applewhitern, BSN, RN · May 10, 2014

Only once have I been upset enough to call a doctor out. He was handsome, young, and arrogant. He blatantly blamed something on "the nurse" to his patient and her family, that was clearly HIS fault; something the nurse (me) had nothing to do with. I was flabbergasted. The patient and her family were cool to me the rest of my 12 hour shift, and I got the feeling they were looking for me to do something wrong. The next morning, during shift change, I addressed him in front of all the other doctors and nurses, and told him that I didn't appreciate him "putting the blame on me for something he did." I explained to him how it affected my relationship with the patient. He looked shocked, but apologized.

NicuGal, MSN, RN · May 10, 2014

Yup, we turned in one of our attendings twice...he had to step down temporarily from unit director and attend anger management classes. If he gets reported again he gets fired. Funny how nice and tolerant he is now!

dudette10, MSN, RN · May 11, 2014

If it is a resident, and your hospital has a "no ********" policy when it comes to resident 'tudes, I would think that your escalation of this problem would have a good outcome.

I had a good outcome when speaking directly and privately to a cardio consult about his back-handed attempt to bully me into something by questioning my ethics. Then again, he was a full-fledged MD and had no insecurities so he was able to consider my argument without it being muddied by his ego. He apologized to me.

Kaley1 · May 11, 2014

If he treats all of the nurses this way, could you get some of them to come along with you on this? That way it wouldn't be a he said she said sort of deal, and they would know that the problem lies squarely with him. He may even take a second look at himself if he realizes that no one appreciates his demeanor. That is a huge hit to the ego that can make one self reflect and re-evaluate actions. Either way, there is always strength and perceived truth in numbers. Good luck! I hope you get it resolved because no one deserves to be treated that way at their place of work!

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · May 11, 2014

As previous posters have been quite PC and eloquent on the reasons for throwing down the gauntlet..

I can only add.. you have nothing to lose and smart mouthed resident has much knowledge and respect to gain.