Can't we all just get along??

Guest757854 · Feb 2, 2014

Yea I kinda agree. Some peoole need a thick skin before they start becoming an active user of allnurses. And then again some people on here are just here to be controversial. I wil admit I got offended a couple times...and had to have a "me time" reality check and tell myself "this is not that serious".......lol

jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B · Feb 2, 2014

Here's my thought process on this.

It is really difficult to convey tone via posts. Sometimes, not matter how well written, posts that are meant to be lively debate can come across a whole bunch of different ways to different people.

We are all not going to agree, 100% of the time. Some posters are more astute in conveying that than others. But every voice should be heard, and we can all learn from each other. Even if it is how we do not want to put into practice.

We take what we need and throw the rest away. There are so many nurses here who are multi-year experienced professionals that one can come away with something every time one reads. Even if it is something that perhaps we don't want to hear.

Intentions are usually good ones. Not many would take the time to respond if the goal was to just be mean. IF that is the case, there is a little button at the bottom of posts that has a yellow triangle and a !. Report it, and the staff will review it. They are pretty awesome peeps.

Pangea Reunited, ASN, RN · Feb 2, 2014

Long time lurker, new time poster. It seems to me that there is a lot of anger and hate directed toward one another on these boards. My question is WHY? It feels like these boards are just a microcosm of how nurses are to each other in real life. Why are nurses so mean, caddy and rude to each other. Maybe this is the reason that although we clearly outnumber other healthcare professionals we can't ever get anything done, advance our profession...because we are too busy quabbling over meaningless BS and trying to put one another down. I know that this isn't everyone, and I have seen some great and supportive posts, but holy moly!

I think you just threw out a bunch of insults, then asked why we can't all get along... :eek:

In any case, some people value honesty over "free love". :wacky:

Ruas61, BSN, RN · Feb 2, 2014

Compared to some boards I frequent and the comment sections on news sites this place is polite and tame.

I think the biggest thing I have come away with in terms of learning to post/interact on this board is:

1) Not everyone is going to hear what you say the way you want it heard.

2) Someone is going to be offended, opposed or misunderstand/misinterpret your thoughts.

3) Someone will find angles into the topic you never would have entertained.

4) Someone is going to yank your chain.

5) Once you start a thread/topic- it is not yours anymore.

6) Pick your battles.

7) It's the internet.

Cal-Neva · Feb 2, 2014

I was not trying to throw out insults, sorry if it sounded that way. I have participated in some of that behavior before so I don't think that I am above everyone else or anything like that. It just frustrates me when I see nurses treating other nurses poorly, whether on the internet or not. We have the potential as a profession to do so many good things, and we HAVE done some amazing things, but I feel that we hold ourselves back. To quote my favorite movie, "Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who." :)

LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN · Feb 2, 2014

Here's my thought process on this. It is really difficult to convey tone via posts. Sometimes, not matter how well written, posts that are meant to be lively debate can come across a whole bunch of different ways to different people.
We are all not going to agree, 100% of the time. Some posters are more astute in conveying that than others. But every voice should be heard, and we can all learn from each other. Even if it is how we do not want to put into practice. We take what we need and throw the rest away.
There are so many nurses here who are multi-year experienced professionals that one can come away with something every time one reads. Even if it is something that perhaps we don't want to hear. Intentions are usually good ones. Not many would take the time to respond if the goal was to just be mean. IF that is the case, there is a little button at the bottom of posts that has a yellow triangle and a !. Report it, and the staff will review it. They are pretty awesome peeps.

Well said!

Your pretty awesome BTW. :)

LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN · Feb 2, 2014

I was not trying to throw out insults sorry if it sounded that way. I have participated in some of that behavior before so I don't think that I am above everyone else or anything like that. It just frustrates me when I see nurses treating other nurses poorly, whether on the internet or not. We have the potential as a profession to do so many good things, and we HAVE done some amazing things, but I feel that we hold ourselves back. To quote my favorite movie, "Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who." :)[/quote']
How is one treating another nurse poorly based in an opinion or viewpoint, or being honest?
Excuse me, but having an opinion is NOT treating someone poorly-here's the thing: everyone has an opinion and CHOOSES to exercise it; one can have the choice to mull it over, take what they need or ignore it.
And most posts where posters escalate ARE reported; there have been posts where the original poster asks for insight, doesn't like what they hear, then respond to the people that elicited the advice and violate TOS.
My approach is what my siggy line says... Otherwise, in reality, it's not that serious.

Cal-Neva · Feb 2, 2014

There are plenty of viewpoints and opinions that are very mean and rude. Whether they get reported, I have no idea. If you didn't like my opinion maybe you shouldn't have read this post.

ixchel · Feb 2, 2014

There are plenty of viewpoints and opinions that are very mean and rude. Whether they get reported I have no idea. If you didn't like my opinion maybe you shouldn't have read this post.[/quote']
How is this not the exact behavior you bemoan in your OP?
You are on a board of highly educated, well-spoken individuals who share their thoroughly reasoned opinions concisely and without walking on egg shells because they have mastered the art of effective and concise communication. Does that go wrong some times? Yes. But more often than not, those of us reading those opinions don't take opposing opinion as personal insult.
Those who have differing opinions and ideas are the people you can learn the most from. If this challenges you beyond your comfort zone, then this isn't the board for you. Accept your losses and find a smaller board with more back patting. But I will tell you, you will really be missing out if you do.

LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN · Feb 2, 2014

There are plenty of viewpoints and opinions that are very mean and rude. Whether they get reported I have no idea. If you didn't like my opinion maybe you shouldn't have read this post.[/quote']
If this is a response to my post; then again, I am expressing my opinion; as much as you have; why is it that the interpretation is that I don't "like" your opinion???
How about respecting what I am posting as I have done towards your post??
Mean and rude is in retrospect to the reader; I have reported posts that purely violated TOS because they weren't expressing strong opinions they were attacking and/or being divisive.
The point is, if you find posts such as those, as jadelpn eloquently stated; report them, or are least reach out for clarification, and ASK the poster; the more "clear" we are, the better than to make the assumptions, IMHO.

Cal-Neva · Feb 2, 2014

I agree with you that reaching out for clarification is a good thing. Your reaction to my post seemed strong, which I took as defensive/attacking. My point about this whole thing is not about people's opinions, but about how in general nurses treat each other. I genuinely love nursing and my fellow nurses. It pains me to see any kind of behavior where we don't support one another, and I'm not just talking about allnurses.com.