ABANDONED

[GitanoRN]

Certainly, several of you have witness this kind of treatment within families. Let me explain what I'm referring to, a week ago a teenager was brought to ED; after being examined by one of our ER doctors and labs.were done, he was diagnose with HIV. Unquestionably, the parents of the teen were outraged! to hear that their football player son in high school, came down with this disease.

Undoubtedly, after offering our support and guidance, along with social worker and other services; the parents advised one of our staff that they were going get something out of their car. However, they never returned to claim their son. Furthermore, several attempts to contact the teen's parents fell in death ears; on the last call to his parents the father answered and stated " My son died when my wife and I took him to your ER" Needless to say, the father used some derogatory name to refer to his son as well.

Having said that, my question is how can a parent abandoned their own flesh and blood, at a time of crisis, with all the new knowledge that's out there regarding this disease! It's truly beyond my comprehension as a single parent myself, I can't fathom what this teenager is going through. No one can deny, that there's still work to be done in order to educate the public. In conclusion, it's not easy to swallow why the public wonders the increase of Teen suicide!!!

My great grand mama use to say in one of her many sayings and I quote " There's nothing worse than the blind that doesn't care to see"

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

"everyone carries a secret sorrow. many a man has been thought cold when he is merely sad."

[Ayvah, RN]

There is a BIG difference between a child "abandoning" their parent, and a parent abandoning their child. When you say teenager, do you mean less than 18? If so it seems like legally they can not simply leave their child.

[nurse2033, MSN, RN]

Your story is awful, I would have been shocked and stunned.

[nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN]

I spent one horrible night trying to get consent for a surgery on a NH patient who was pleasantly demented -- called all 4 kids, and found out that he'd raped, beat and brutalized his sons and daughters. After what they told me, I wanted to throw him out of the nearest window. He was a monster. I did all the NH and make sure they knew to never, ever leave this man where he could be alone with another resident's grandchildren. You never know what goes on behind all those doors you pass on the way to work...

Not the same as parents dumping a teenager, but maybe getting him away from his parents will be the best thing that ever happened to him.

[leslie :-D]

My mother is an animal. Like my dogs I will ensure that she has a roof over her head and food in her belly. Other than that I will not provide any other comfort for her.

i hope this guy doesn't have any dogs.

my dogs have every conceivable comfort i can think of...and then some.

i always find it bittersweet, to observe those towards the end of life...

as you definitely reap what you sow.

congrats on your baby girl, asystole.

leslie

[Nurse SMS, MSN, RN]

There can be diagnoses on the part of the parents of which we are not aware, including those involving mental health. In fact, one might almost guarantee such a thing given the action taken. It is difficult, yes, to withhold judgement. One might even say it is impossible. But as professionals we should try. No amount of censure is going to entice those parents back to the bedside. Quite the opposite in fact. Judgement and censure will only serve as yet another reason for them to stay away, even should they have a change of heart.

[Asystole RN]

There is a BIG difference between a child "abandoning" their parent, and a parent abandoning their child. When you say teenager, do you mean less than 18? If so it seems like legally they can not simply leave their child.

My state allows parents to abandon children at hospitals. Keeps the parents from dumping them into dumpsters or in the woods.

[GitanoRN, BSN, MSN, RN]

AsystoleRN, Undoubtedly, your story is one I have heard over the years in different scenarios, and trust me I can sympathize with the son's behavior. However, in the case of the one I posted, the social worker and 3 of us nurses, did some research on the parents of the teenager assisting this case. These parents are rich, with homes in London, N.Y., and Hawaii, this is their only child. The latest investigation revealed that my teenager pt. has been molested for several years, it hasn't come to the light yet, who is responsible but rest assure the authorities along with our social workers will find out the truth; regarding this teenager's on going ordeal. Lastly, I didn't only learned in nursing not to past judgement on my patients family, but also during my military time. And as I stated previously I was letting off steam as a father, Not as a nurse, and our ED staff never show our feelings torwards my pt.'s parents while they were present, everything was handled with the up most professionalism...Aloha~

[Asystole RN]

AsystoleRN, Undoubtedly, your story is one I have heard over the years in different scenarios, and trust me I can sympathize with the son's behavior. However, in the case of the one I posted, the social worker and 3 of us nurses, did some research on the parents of the teenager assisting this case. These parents are rich, with homes in London, N.Y., and Hawaii, this is their only child. The latest investigation revealed that my teenager pt. has been molested for several years, it hasn't come to the light yet, who is responsible but rest assure the authorities along with our social workers will find out the truth; regarding this teenager's on going ordeal. Lastly, I didn't only learned in nursing not to past judgement on my patients family, but also during my military time. And as I stated previously I was letting off steam as a father, Not as a nurse...Aloha~

I apologize, I hope that you did not think I was attacking you in anyway, just giving advice.

With regards to your particular situation I just had about a thousand alarms go off in my head. Tread lightly my friend, you are entering dangerous territory. Honestly, once the terms molestation and child are uttered into the same sentence I personally would relay this information to the social worker and whatever authorities you have at you facility and then never speak of it again.

Lots of privacy and criminal investigation issues here. Yikes. Not to mention the whole HIV/AIDs federally protected status business.

Watch yourself and map sure you mind your Ps and Qs.

[Nurse SMS, MSN, RN]

"HIV positive", "molestation investigation" and "patient abandonment" certain sounds ominous.

[xoemmylouox, ASN, RN]

I treated the mother of our patient with respect. As for financial concerns.. No the kiddo is on medicaid. I think at some point parents have to be held accountable for their actions or the lack there of.

[kids]

I'm kind of shocked that HIV was diagnosed in an ER.

Even running them in-house my hospital took a day or 2, the labs aren't even released until confirmation testing is done.