I'm never primarying again, y'all - page 5

This is so awful. My primary is six and a half months old. He was a CDH-er, was on ECMO. He almost got better in August and September, got him down to 30% CPAP, but went into respiratory failure at... Read More

  1. by   EricJRN
    That's rough, Elizabells. It sounds like it was a peaceful transition for him. I know you've had problems obtaining pain control and sedation orders in the past... I was glad to see that he was so comfortable in the end.
  2. by   prmenrs
    Rest in peace, sweet boy.
  3. by   Imafloat
    Quote from elizabells
    Zach passed away this evening, at 5:31pm, with his parents and all five of his primary nurses at his side. It was very peaceful, as the attending physician provided a significant amount of sedation prior to his death. He was so beautiful at the end, as for the first time in his short life he didn't have to fight to breathe. Thank you all so much for your support, advice, and good wishes.
    My thoughts are with you.
  4. by   danissa
    Quote from elizabells
    Zach passed away this evening, at 5:31pm, with his parents and all five of his primary nurses at his side. It was very peaceful, as the attending physician provided a significant amount of sedation prior to his death. He was so beautiful at the end, as for the first time in his short life he didn't have to fight to breathe. Thank you all so much for your support, advice, and good wishes.
    (((((Liz)))))...your sweet wee man is at peace now, resting from all he endured here in his short life. Wherever he's resting..you are still here...still making a difference to others. YOU need a wee chill out for you babe! Do something nice for just you, refresh yourself.....and you will be ready to go again, being the fab nicu advocate that you are! I know your feelings only too well, it's so hard, but we all keep going back for more, as we love the babies so much! keep lovin them babe...they would be lost without you! XC
  5. by   2curlygirls
    The most difficult part of our jobs. Peace to you and the little one.
  6. by   elizabells
    Just got back from the funeral. They had only a graveside service, and all of the primaries went, as did the surgeon who did every operation - going on ECMO, CDH repair, silo reduction, going off ECMO, GT, and trach. His mother actually came over to us during the service and said she'd rather stand with us. I don't ever, ever want to see a coffin that tiny again. I thought I would vomit when they lowered him and started to shovel. All I could think was that he was going to be cold - we had our first snow last night. But by the end it was okay. I haven't been to a funeral since I was ten. I get now why they take a while.

    And then the nursing office tried to harass me when I called to take my emergency personal day, since I worked last night and then stood out in the snow for a couple of hours. Good thing one of the other nurses with us is my union delegate...

    Again, thank you, thank you all so much. It's good to know that other people understand.
  7. by   medicalma'am
    I am glad you are taking a rest. You truly need to do that for yourself. I'll tell you what, when that mom gets to heaven...it just won't seem to matter any more. There will be nothing but jubliation!

    Blessings
  8. by   LesMonsterRN
    Elizabells, your little man was so truly blessed to have such a wonderful nurse, friend, advocate and warrior at his side throughout his hard, short life as you were to him. You and your practice have been blessed with the spirit necessary to fight for our tiniest patients and you have done all of us NICU nurses and wannabes proud as you fought long and hard for your monkey. Peace be with you as it is now with Zach.
  9. by   Hanabna
    This thread really broke my heart. But I am just so glad to hear he isn't suffering anymore. I hope I can learn and be as strong as you if I go through something similar when I become a neonatal nurse. You did well.
  10. by   DDRN4me
    (((((Elizabells))))) you should be soo proud of all you did for that family. Zachary will stay with you forever; as your little guiding light. The clinical things you learned from him will allow you to help others. The love and compassion you learned will help you and many more. May you and his family find peace that he is now at rest. and know that we are always here for you if you need us!! Mary

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