And the award for most asked question goes to...

Specialties NICU

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What is/are the one or two questions you get asked most by parents in the NICU?

For me, the hands down winner is "What's his weight today??". Not "is he doing ok?" or "what are his chances at survival?" It's forever the darned weight question.

What is it about parents that make them want to know the baby's weight down to the gram? Quit asking that! He gained 3 grams.

I know, I know...it's all they know to ask. But I wish someone clever would start a trend of asking about poop or something else besides weight. :)

Specializes in Pedi.

I am not a NICU nurse but I gather the weight thing is something objective and concrete for these parents. In oncology, the #1 question is about the kids' blood counts- again, because it's objective and concrete and a criteria for discharge.

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Specializes in NICU, PICU, PACU.

We aren't dissing the weight thing, but when you have parents that only call like once a week and that is the only thing they ask, and this kid is hanging by a toenail to life, yeah it irks you!

I like "How long will he/she be in here" "Usually until your due date, give or take a few weeks" "But that is 17 week!" We'll, he or she should be cooking!

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Specializes in Med-Surg/Neuro/Oncology floor nursing..

My nephew was born two months early. When my sister started having contractions luckily they were able to get them to stop for a couple of days for a couple of days with magnesium sulfate. Unfortunately though that caused my sister to have pulmonary edema so they had to stop. They gave her steroid shots to help mature the babies lungs and then he was born. He was 3.7 pounds. Luckily he didn't need oxygen at all, he did have a NG tube for a little while. When he was in the NICU for the first weeks of his life, my sister would always ask "any progress?" once he started taking a bottle full time(and the NG was out) her first question was "how much did he eat?"

I guess the weight question is always asked because usually if the baby is otherwise healthy they can go home once they have reached a certain weight.

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Specializes in CDI Supervisor; Formerly NICU.
NicuGal said:
We aren't dissing the weight thing, but when you have parents that only call like once a week and that is the only thing they ask, and this kid is hanging by a toenail to life, yeah it irks you!

I like "How long will he/she be in here" "Usually until your due date, give or take a few weeks" "But that is 17 week!" We'll, he or she should be cooking!

exactly!

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Specializes in Critical Care, Clinical Documentation Specialist.

I had rough time during OB and peds, really didn't expect that going in (guess I had some unresolved issues). But, come my day in a 'feeder grower' NICU, I absolutely LOVED it. I could deal with them as long as they weren't truly critical. I was even told that I could do a diaper change as fast as any nurse but that's what you get when you have had one yourself, you know you aren't going to break them. I did however, have a hard time in our local Children's hospital when we took a tour of their NICU. I stayed out of it thank you very much, way too emotional for me. You NICU nurses who deal with the teeny tiny and sick of the sick, God bless you and thank you for all you do (and putting up with us over the edge/on the edge parents).

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Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.

On related 'only a mother's love' note:

YEARS ago in my LPN days (late 1970's) we have a young man named George in our locked-down, inpatient acute psych unit. He had completely fried his brain with drugs, was violent, constant hallucinations- and he was INCREDIBLY strong.

One night, he was in the Quiet Room in 4-way leathers, screaming and carrying on. The bed in that room was actually bolted into the concrete floor, and he had managed to loosen the bolts by his attempts to escape.

His sweet little mother called to check on him. She called every night at the same time, bedtime, before she went to sleep. She needed to know how her beloved George was before she could rest her head on the pillow. I truthfully, but gently, told her how he was, and I'm sure she could hear him in the background. Her parting comment has stayed with me forever; "But, other than that, he's OK, isn't he?"

She only wanted reassurance that her little boy was safe in my care.

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Specializes in NICU, Infection Control.

"...She only wanted reassurance that her little boy was safe in my care."

Maybe that's the take-away for our parents, too. Thank you.

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Specializes in NICU, Infection Control.

Then there's the other end of the parents' time w/us: we're doing the discharge testing and teaching, parents are totally into their routine of when they come in, what they do, etc. Then one day I point out that, IF things continue to go okay, the baby might go home next week or so. Mouths agape, deer in the headlights look from mom and dad. "But we haven't painted the nursery yet!!!" or "But the baby shower is scheduled then!"

@ least by this time, they laugh WITH us!

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Specializes in NICU.

Baby delivered by caesarean section with Father in attendance. Father witnesses any resuscitative efforts and walks to NICU along side baby in transport isolette. On the unit, we slap ECG leads and pulse ox on the baby, maybe grab a stethoscope, and Dad asks: "What's his blood type?" Really?!?

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Specializes in NICU, OB/GYN.
amoLucia said:
YES! Weight is a concrete measurable number that leaves no one guessing.

Not at all subjective like, "Honey, do I look fat?". Even if you weigh 110 lbs but have a big booty you don't want to hear "you look fine". Too subjective.

And weight gain is considered a POSITIVE, reassuring standard for improving health status which is what parents are so desirous of.

Makes sense to me!

I don't entirely agree with this, and I think that sometimes too much emphasis is placed on weight gain as a reliable benchmark for good health in NICUs. Fluid overload may cause excessive weight gain, and has adverse affects on pulmonary and cardiac function. Lasix to correct it may cause weight loss that's anticipated by the medical team, but not necessarily by family members.

This can all be broken down into simple terms for families, but telling them that we're giving their child medication that may cause them to lose some of the excess weight that they gained the night before might cause some issues with this view.

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We had a 23 weeker recently, and on his first day of life, his mom asked me, when will they feed him, and when can he come out of the isolette? Um, you mean IF he lives??? The circ question drives me crazy . . . when are you going to circ him? I always feel like they're worried we won't. Before discharge, absolutely. And the blood type question . . . I want to know why non-medical people are so worried about the blood type? Heck, I can't even remember my own blood type, much less my kids'.

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Specializes in NICU, telemetry.
\ said:
We had a 23 weeker recently and on his first day of life, his mom asked me, when will they feed him, and when can he come out of the isolette? Um, you mean IF he lives??? The circ question drives me crazy . . . when are you going to circ him? I always feel like they're worried we won't. Before discharge, absolutely. And the blood type question . . . I want to know why non-medical people are so worried about the blood type? Heck, I can't even remember my own blood type, much less my kids'.

The circ question kills me when they have so much going on!! Especially at that little. I'm sorry, but their memberes look like a little tic-tac. How are you gonna circ THAT?! ?

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