married to MD

Nurses Men

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I am starting prereqs for accelerated BSN. My beautiful and brilliant wife will be starting med school in the fall. Does anyone have any experience with this situation? I personally feel like nursing is a cool way to support her through much of med school and something I might find deeply fulfilling. And I also foresee a lot of good synergies once she is a Doctor. Has anyone experienced any pitfalls of this?

Specializes in med-surg.

i'm a female nurse married to a male doctor so its the opposite of your situation. however my husband and i were like you and your wife, in that we both started our schooling at the same time. except back then we weren't married yet, and we were long distance.

i dont know how it will be for you, but this is how it was for us: ROUGH.

personally, it was more difficult for me to deal with him being in med school than for him dealing with me being in nursing school. he studied (and still does study) 24/7.

things were less stressful on the relationship when school was intense for both of us because we were overwhelmed with school.

when i graduated and started working as an RN, even though that carries its own stress and responsibilities, it was by far much more difficult learning how to support my husband during his internship year and throughout his residency.

there are a few positive things- my husband is really good with being a nurse advocate and teaching other residents and med students how to listen to nursing concerns and nursing intuition. he even pulls a chair for nurses during rounds. so that's pretty cool. for me, i have more sympathy for residents because my husband is a resident, so i try not to pester them with petty things and try to encourage/teach them and treat them nicely (instead of some nurses who try to show the residents who's boss).

so in some ways yes you can compliment one another, but then its also a difficult road during the schooling/residency time.

but its not impossible, with lots of prayer, understanding, and patience yall can do it. =)

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now that could be because there are few male nurses, or that could be because most female doctors are more drawn to men of equal or higher status than them.

ouch...so i'm second class am i?

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Specializes in Trauma/ED.

Reading this thread has made me think some of you still see society like it was in the 50's...maybe you are from the south? :-)

MD vs RN...different job, more school...NOT different "status"...come on seriously? There is a reason it was funny in "Meet the Parents" because it's DUMB!

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[color=darkslategray]dear kbok, i was wondering if you could explain more about how you worked it in residency. the basic point of our scheme is to have someone who is not going crazy to cook, keep house, and deal with kids in residency. i am not so worried about the med school part as much as the residency part.

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it works for me. nursing and medicine are complimentary but different non-competing disciplines. It is nice to be able to speak the same language (medical) and it is great to be able to ask someone in house to explain something, like your own personal tutor

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one of my buds is married to a md, but he isn't a nurse. he worked and helped put her through med school, now he's a house hubby and keeper of the kiddies.

she told him he could stay home and be the house hubby/mom or she would, easy choice seeing that she makes multiple times what he could.

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with both of you being in school, be prepared never to really see each other. it could be a huge strain on your relationship, especially since you aren't even in a program yet. it was hard enough for me to go through nursing school and my wife to go through pharmacy school, but i couldn't imagine both at the same time.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, free clinic.

Hello,

I am an RN married to an MD; my wife is faculty at a medical school. I got my RN at 54, after being a house husband for the previous 10 years. I quit my job as a research assistant at a university in Boston to take care of two kids who were 5 and 9 at the time. Two careers and kids means that it is the kids that suffer. She made more money, so I quit. On my résumé I said that I was a "domestic resource coordinator" which got some laughs and others actually liked it. I started a NP program when the youngest started HS, but could not finish it as we relocated to the West Coast when I was only part way thought the program.

Your question has several aspects. Being a male nurse has its own group of issues, often complex, and these are discussed on this forum. Being married to an MD has its own set of very different issues, which are discussed on this site too. (I recall that there is a book written for wives of MDs, which I have not read. It is probably outdated anyway.) You are both, so get ready for a lot of problem solving. This is not bad necessarily, but it is a lot of work.

First overwhelming issue is the fact that most MDs work 70 hrs / wk often more. Then there is call, out-of-town conferences, department dinners, etc. Even without kids, who is going to get groceries, balance the check book, let the serviceman in to fix the washer, get the car inspected, to the taxes, etc????? If you plan to have a semi-normal existence, you have to look the reality of a spouse who works that much. Medical school and residency are killers. You will have to be the person to keep the house running smoothly and provide emotional stability for your wife. The importance of this cannot be overstated. Working part-time is one obvious solution. With kids, the time crunch triples.

I will mention one of the "spouse-MD" issues as related to my working as a nurse. When the other nurses found out about my wife, they often asked "Why do you work?" They never actually discussed it with me, but I would often hear from the patients that other nurses told them my wife was a doc. I think being a male nurse is great, but others usually view it as odd. Working as a nurse just because I love it is even more weird.

PM me if you like. We can talk on the phone too.

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Specializes in icu/er.

im currently dating a obgyn resident, drive to memphis to spend weekends with her often. hey she is cool to hang out with and i think she is hot. the stress those people are under is impressive during their training. when i get to her place i just prepare myself to litsen and be sort of a outlet for her, but she loves what she does and she is happy. though our relationship is not to the point of engagement however if i could end up with a gal like her that would be great if she is a doc..well thats cool too.

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Hmmm if I married a successful doctor I wouldn't have any problems being a stay at home dad. :D

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