Family Members

[vonxojn]

All I need to do right now is vent my anger. I had a patient that was on the phone when I entered her room. She handed me the phone and asked me to speak to her daughter. I got on the phone and the first thing she asks me is "Are you an RN or LPN"? Well, instantly I was already seeing where this conversation was going. I told her I was an LPN? Then she proceeds to ask about how long I've been nursing, am I going to finish school or do I plan to even go back, and asking how long it takes to get an LPN degree.Then she tells me that, that was her Mother laying there and she wanted me to take care of her like she was my own mother. Well first of all, what makes you think that I wouldn't... was it because I'm an LPN. I get so tired of people thinking that JUST because I have an LPN degree not an RN degree that I'm less of a nurse. I have had other people that didn't initially know my LPN status, thought I was an RN. I wish titles could be left off of badges and just say "nurse". I felt humiliated after the phone call. I took very good care of that patient from the time I came into the room till the end of my 12 hour shift. :angryfire :angryfire :angryfire :angryfire How dare this nobody try to tell me how to nurse. I think sometimes family members think that they can call and throw their weight around and demand-not ask- things of the nurse. That was probably the worse a family member has ever made me feel.

[DarciaMoonz, LPN]

WHAT DOES IT MATTER TO HER WHAT LETTERS ARE BEHIND YOUR NAME:angryfire. Since she seems so hellbent on how her mother is cared for, then maybe she should come and do it herself. That was out of place, and personally. People like that you wanna tell them to go screw themselves, but you can't. Ohhh, that makes me sooo angry. The point is, whether your an LPN or RN, your STILL A NURSE.

[nursedawn67, LPN]

OMG I hate when people ask are you a "real nurse", well I have REAL license...so yeah I'm a real nurse.

You know the running joke RN=Real Nurse, LPN= Let's play nurse

Some people just can't get over this RN?LPN stuff.

[doingourbest]

I too am an LPN and have met and orientated many RNs who are clueless when they get out of school as far as actual patient care. Many have never even inserted a catheter. I think it depends on what school you attend. RNs have just learned more about disease processes in school and if they were smart they can put more together about if this persons disease is this and this lab says that then this must be happening. But, nurses aren't allowed to diagnose anyway, so the RN would also be required to notify the physician about everything an LPN would. Practical nurses are just that. We know how to do the practical aspects of nursing. The physical aspects and the paperwork aspects. We do not diagnose, but neither do RNs. Nurses implement doctors orders, therapy orders, dietary orders, ect. We do not issue orders. Several of the people I have encountered who have asked if I would go back to school to be a "real nurse" have implied that they thought that practical meant the same thing as practically. So I am under the impression that a lot of it is out of ignorance. They just assume that it means you are not yet a nurse. Don't let it get to you.

[maestrotee]

Next time I'll let them know my name and title, NOT my business.

After reading all these posts, you came around and stated the most intelligent response after all. Sounds like you nailed it right on the head. Those conversations will get easier with that little philosophy right there. A short, sweet response is very professional ... and, delivered correctly, will make them second-guess their attitudes later on. I've found it very helpful!

[Fiona59]

Yup, I'd give my name and status. I'd also tell them that my educational achievements/aspirations are irrelevant to the job at hand which is caring for her mother and numerous other patients.

Then I'd have added "if you don't have care related questions, I'll be saying good bye" and hang up.

[wearingmanyhats, RN]

I am an LPN, and remember when we were all going the way of the dinosauers(sp?) --- when I was in LPN school, the plan was to grandfather any currently licensed LPNs and require every one new be RN.....

amazing..... someone realized that we all have a role. Don't get me wrong, If I had started this journey in my youth (I was 28 when I got my license) I would probably be an RN and teaching LPNs.

But..... I love what I am doing, I get a chance to get to know my residents (I usually do LTC as an agency LPN) and all too often, I am replacing the staff LPN, and when I ask the RN a question about my residents..... they have NO IDEA...

You go girl..... don't let the dopes get you down!

Faye

[LPN0207]

I actually just posted this story in another thread, but is applicable here as well. Happened last night.

RN: The roads are so bad tonight, I wonder if so and so LPN would be willing to take call for me tonight?

Me:sounds great! Why don't you ask her, she would be wiling to do it I am sure..

RN: headed out the door, hey just so you know I am on call tonight, if you need anything

Me: I thought you were going to ask LPN?

RN:Well, I never called her, I figured if they needed somebody they would need a nurse

:icon_roll

are you kidding me? yeah, I was a little miffed by the comment. She has never said anything like that before, and i really care for this particular nurse, I love working with her and she is a great team lead. But, I gotta say that comment was a little off base and I did lose a little bit of respect for her.

[TJ920]

i don't think it has so much to do with the patient or family being ignorant as much as this incident obviously offended you. maybe the issue is more with how you feel as an lpn than how this woman/man treated you on the phone. professionals would say something about the care their mother was receiving as being fully within your scope of practice and reassured the family that "mother" was being well taken care of. one thing to remember is no matter how much these people get under your skin, you cannot treat them inappropriately in any way. another thing to remember in working in ltc is that many families honestly feel guilt for having to place mother/father in ltc facilities. that guilt often comes across as anger to us nurses. it's not important how she thinks of you now, what's imporatant is how she sees you and your co-workers taking care of her mother in order for her have the reassurance she obviously needs.

[Fiona59]

i don't think it has so much to do with the patient or family being ignorant as much as this incident obviously offended you. maybe the issue is more with how you feel as an lpn than how this woman/man treated you on the phone. professionals would say something about the care their mother was receiving as being fully within your scope of practice and reassured the family that "mother" was being well taken care of. one thing to remember is no matter how much these people get under your skin, you cannot treat them inappropriately in any way. another thing to remember in working in ltc is that many families honestly feel guilt for having to place mother/father in ltc facilities. that guilt often comes across as anger to us nurses. it's not important how she thinks of you now, what's imporatant is how she sees you and your co-workers taking care of her mother in order for her have the reassurance she obviously needs.

your profile doesn't state your experience or eduational level? can you give it to us now?

now, we never ask that of fellow posters. what gives a family member the right to interogate a nursing professional as to their educational level or personal goals and ambitions. this is none of their business.

there is therapy available to those who are feeling guilt over placing a parent in ltc. deal with those issues in the appropriate setting.

[TJ920]

I really wasn't intending on making anyone angry with my post. I'm newer here and assumed it was a place to "vent" and receive some comments and/or advice on our issues, not be attacked.

We learned, some time ago, in nursing school, that we were not only nursing the patient, but also the family. While we may think something is none of their business, it obviously meant something to them or they wouldn't have asked. Being snotty and replying with, "that's none of your business," is not only rude, but VERY poor customer service on behalf of the nursing home. I've worked LTC long enough to know, that even if that family member didn't specifically get your name, they have ways of finding it out and if you've made them mad enough they will not only figure out who you are but tell your DON on you when they do find out who you are. Either way, being rude/snotty to family and/or patients gets you nowhere.

Fiona59, I can think you're psychotic all I want, and recommend you not bother me with your banter all day long... maybe even suggest you seek therapy for your seemingly crazy comments... does that mean you will take my advice?? No, and neither would a family member you recommended therapy to in order to deal with any guilt. Probably not a good tactic. Adding on to your previous post, I didn't once say that family member had a right to interrogate that nurse, I wasn't stating that their behavior was appropriate, I was saying as a nurse, we've all run into inappropriate behaviors, being from a patient or that of a family, but there are a lot of things you've either got to over look, or report; not act upon.

P.S. I didn't know I had to have my profile filled out to post... but since it's important to someone, I've done it!

[pagandeva2000, LPN]

I think that television, books, journals and such place so much emphasis on Registered Nursing that Practical Nurses were sort of left out in the cold. People are not hearing about us the way that they should. I worked in the medical field all of my life and my family was into nursing before me, therefore, I always knew about LPNs and their role even before I became one myself. That being said, it may be that most people these days either have not been educated on what the Licensed Practical Nurse is, or have been exposed to many. Commercials saying "Get a REAL nurse" don't really help, either, because they don't mention that to be a nurse on any level is to be licensed by the governing state...not just RN.

I do think it is fair to answer reasonable questions on who is caring for them or their loved ones and their educational level, but no personal questions should be answered, because it crosses the therapeutic line.

I also know that it is true, many families have experienced a great deal of guilt because they are unable to care for their loved ones at home. This society is a very demanding one that requires entire families to work in order to maintain their homes, health insurance, and basically survival. Most of us cannot afford or wish to risk bringing in a private duty person, so, they have to place these poor people into a facility. Knowing what I know now, as a nurse, I would feel even worse in doing so, knowing that there may be one nurse caring for 40+ people. It is close to impossible to address everyone's needs. I guess I would begin by answering the person's questions on who I am and what I am legally able to do...but no personal stuff.

[Fiona59]

My area is undergoing an extreme shortage of nurses of any designation willing to work in LTC. So much so that beds are closing despite there being a shortage of them.

The main reason given for this is the lack of respect towards them from family members. Just experiencing the behaviours of the family while still a student is sending new grads running from geriatrics in any form.

The governing colleges of nurses has approached the government asking for assistance in educating the public but to no avail. While staff abuse and harrassment is accepted and seemingly condoned by the centres for the elderly, nurses are going to avoid them like the plague.