DH dying-need prayers

Specialties Hospice

Published

I've posted before about my husband being terminally ill and complications that have come up, but this is the worst it has every been. Currently in ICU with ARDS and sepsis, placed on dialysis yesterday. On a vent, paralytic, the whole works.

Miraculously he has been showing signs of improvement. CXR went from a complete white out to having distinguishable upper lobes, heart, ET. That was amazing. Has been running a PEEP of 20. Went in this morning to a stunned looking pulmonologist telling me that the lungs are regaining some elasticity so they got the PEEP down to 8. (PTL!)

I have been glued to his bedside but am home tonight as I had nobody to take care of our 5 year old. Besides she is desperate for some mommy time and vice versa. I was actually sleeping peacefully and his brother called and woke me up. Couldn't go back to sleep and felt God telling me to get on here and get as many prayers as possible going so that dh can get over the hump. My brother in law is an atheist but I continue to witness to him about God in my life and God's ability to heal if it is in his will.

Please, all you that can pray, please help me out on this one. His name is Dan and I love him more than anything. He had not made a decision for the Lord before he was intubated so that is a big reason for wanting him to wake up and have one more chance.

Thanks in advance to all. You guys are wonderful support.

Specializes in Nursing assistant.

Dear Nurse Joey:

You are in our prayers that God will substain you through this and beyond...

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What are you guys talking about? I have cracked, just not in public (or in print):chuckle. It does help that I was blessed with a strange, wierd, and often inappropriate sense of humor. I feel strangely peaceful today. The chaplain visited today (he's been on vacation) and gave me a prayer card that said exactly what I needed: "O Lord, in my present need, help me believe that You are aware of my anxiety and will do what is best for me. Give me strength to trust You and to put the present and future in Your merciful hands. Amen." I thought that was a pretty good sign that God is aware of my anxiety about the present and the future, huh? I thought Dan looked pretty good today. Considering he's yellow and has no urine output, but they can't keep changing the suction container fast enough for his ileostomy. It's pure liquid. (They finally had to hook it to suction because it filled too fast.) They made a bunch of medication changes today, but I forget what they were. Added another BP med to the levophed because they have to keep increasing it. Going to do a gall bladder scan tomorrow. He was more expressive today, woke up once. He doesn't think he's going to die. Dan is a musician, writes and sings his own stuff. I brought some of his CDs in for him to listen to. That seemed to help stimulate him a little. One song has a line about having so little time left to spend--he made a face. Another song talks about people dying before they accomplish their dreams. When the line about "some must leave before their dreams" came on--he made a face. Wrinkled up his eyebrows and nose like he was saying "that ain't gonna happen". HOWEVER, he was having all kinds of funky heart rhythms today. Has been barely tachy but today started throwing some PVC's. I hope they had sense enough to check his K+. I've been trying to call for 2 hours and can't get anyone to answer. I hate that. I feel like calling that corporate lady's cell phone--you know, the one that is SO INTERESTED in me as a person--and telling her that it is hard to have confidence in the place when NO ONE answers the phone at night. (THey have phones all over, plus cordless phones in their pockets and they have a lot of staff that do a lot of standing around at night.) Neither of those women have bothered to call me or find me when I'm there since we talked Monday. That is just plain rude. I won't be able to go down there til tomorrow late afternoon because I have school from 11am to 1:30pm. Keep up the good prayer work. I am sure the Lord will bless all of you for taking such an interest in me in my time of need.

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Oh, I forgot to mention that the chaplain came in while I was watching Jerry Springer and laughing my head off. :lol2: The funny thing is--I NEVER watch Jerry--unless Dan is in the hospital. Today is the first time ever that I have even made it through an entire episode. But for some reason, it makes me feel better when I'm at my lowest to see that there are people more pathetic than me. Here I am, supposed to be a fine upstanding Christian woman, watching Jerry when the Chaplain decides to come for a visit. It was just embarrassing. (but humorous)

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Specializes in OB/GYN,L&D,FP office,LTC.

I just wanted to let you know that your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

I think you are a very strong person,I admire you so much.I'm glad you are finding some peace today. God knows whats in your heart,He will get you through this difficult time.

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hi sweetie!:kiss

i just wanted to let you know that i think you are an AMAZING woman.

dan is just so lucky to have you and i know you feel equally as blessed to have him too.

i know you don't see it now, but God has given you some very precious gifts throughout this ordeal- strength, grace, determination, sensitivity, insight.

i look for your posts daily. you keep on going my friend. and give your daughter an extra hug tonight, from me.

leslie xo

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Joey, hang on to that humor. Add it to your faith. It will be strength to you. God can give peace even when watching Jerry Springer! Prayers are continuing. You're often in my thoughts. Nothing is going to happen that isn't for the best 'cause Jesus loves us so much and He knows the end from the beginning. God bless and keep you and yours.

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Joey,

I am still praying for you and your dh. I can't begin to imagine what you are going through. I hope it comforts you to know that you have a blanket of friends spanning the world and they are all holding you in their hearts as I know I am. May God continue to give you strength and allow you to lay down your worries for a while and rest.

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Specializes in pedi, pedi psych,dd, school ,home health.

Joey, dont know how i missed this thread for this long... crying as i read all 20 pages. you are an inspiration of love and faith. Keep up the good fight, Dan knows how hard you are trying for him. Your little girl is blessed to have you as well.

My thoughts and prayers will be with you all. thank you for allowing us to share this journey with you.

Peace, mary

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Hey, Nursejoey. We're still with you on your journey. I think it was a good sign that the chaplain had the words you needed right at the moment that you needed them most. God bless you, Dan, and your dd. Keep trusting that whatever happens, God is there. :kiss

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Well...as of 6:33am, it is all over.:crying2: But listen to all that God was able to give me...

1. I was there. They called at 11:30pm last night and told me to come quick. So I had all night to sit on his bed and comfort him.

2. It was peaceful. I believe he went to Heaven. There was absolutely no sense of evil at all in the room.

3. I didn't have to make a decision about the vent--his heart stopped.

4. I didn't have to second guess myself about the CPR part. His HR and Sat just kept getting lower so I know that the risk of brain damage would have been immense if they had tried to revive him.

I can't believe it's over. He has been such a fighter and almost super human for a long time. Thank you so much for your support and prayers.

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{{{nursejoey}}} - so many hugs are with you - I envision you at dh's bedside and I hope you can feel the presence of us around you, cause we are truly there with you with every step, with every thought, with every sigh. Sometimes the bravest thing is to know that you have fought the good fight, and the rest is truly in God's hands, whatever he decides.

Bless you and know that your beloved dh is in our prayers, but mostly you, as you have to go on, for your daughter as well as for yourself....simply because that's what we do; we go on and hopefully have love in our hearts to guide us. After all, isn't that really what God is all about? Love - and nursejoey, know that you and your family are so loved.

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Specializes in Education, FP, LNC, Forensics, ED, OB.
Well...as of 6:33am, it is all over.:crying2: But listen to all that God was able to give me...

1. I was there. They called at 11:30pm last night and told me to come quick. So I had all night to sit on his bed and comfort him.

2. It was peaceful. I believe he went to Heaven. There was absolutely no sense of evil at all in the room.

3. I didn't have to make a decision about the vent--his heart stopped.

4. I didn't have to second guess myself about the CPR part. His HR and Sat just kept getting lower so I know that the risk of brain damage would have been immense if they had tried to revive him.

I can't believe it's over. He has been such a fighter and almost super human for a long time. Thank you so much for your support and prayers.

Bless your heart. I am so sorry you lost the love of your life. I am glad you were there. May God give you peace. {{{{HUGS}}}}

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