Are you one of them?
What is your story?
Me: dysthymic disorder, likely depressive sx from the age of 10-12. Major depressive episodes: 2. Other psychiatric comorbidities: anorexia nervosa (currently, in longstanding remission.) Hospitalizations: none. Medications: on and off since 2001...tried just about everything. Currently just restarted a single antidepressant. Therapists I've been through: too many to count.
I honestly think I went into nursing, in part, because I didn't think I could do any better and I couldn't fathom working in a role where I would actually have to be a boss or make important decisions. I viewed nursing as very subservient and I was totally OK with spending my life in the background and taking orders (that is what I thought nursing was, at the time.) This was over 10 years ago now and I don't see nursing that way anymore, and I do think I have grown into the role to some degree, and I'm not as fearful as I once was.
It is taking me way longer to complete my graduate education than it should because I struggle with maintaining work/family/life balance. It is incredibly frustrating to know that you are really smart (I'm not going to go into that because you all are probably going to either think I'm A. inflating my intelligence or B. a pompous a#$hole) but you cannot manage to accomplish what you think you should be able to, given a normal mood. I'm not even going to talk about my undergraduate education....lets just say I took more incompletes, part-time semesters, etc. than any human being should. I would have graduated when I was 40 had I not had PSEO credits. Fortunately at work, I have not struggled....I think the nature of shift work allows me to be able to put on a happy face for 8-12 hours.
I hesitate to post this because I'm sure there are plenty of people out there that aren't sympathetic and don't believe that depression is a real, legitimate problem. I just feel like such a failure right now because I went to the doctor today and got back on Wellbutrin
I hope you feel better soon. When my mama went on anti-depressants, the doctor explained to her that they were like insulin for Type 2 DM. Her body wasn't producing enough "happy" so she had to have a supplement. That helped her get over the stigma that somehow she was responsible for her depression.
I really enjoy you, GW, so keep fighting the good fight, OK?
Last edit by canigraduate on Aug 25, '10
: Reason: fixed smilie