Let me give you some background on me; I am 20 and am in my sophomore year of college, just starting my nursing classes. I transferred to the college I am at now after my freshman year because of not getting into the nursing program at the university I was at. It was a bit devastating to me because I had a 3.9 GPA and never had a problem getting into schools before. This nursing school at the university was very small proportionally compared to the rest of the school and was told that a lack of professors caused it to be small. I guess I can attribute my denial to that, but it still hurt me a lot.
I also lived in an all-freshman dorm and had trouble with, for lack of a better term, bullying at the beginning of the year. I am pretty sensitive and at the time I felt terrible. I already have a very low self-esteem and it was made even lower. As the time went on, though, I started to make friends and started to love my school. This made it really hard for me to leave because I had to pack up and leave a lot of my friends, and it made me feel very alone. But I felt that nursing was what I wanted to do because it combined my interest in the workings of the human body and my wanting to help people.
I decided to transfer to a college that is known for nursing and got into the program. I had to take prereqs for a semester which I did well at. Now I am actually in two nursing classes along with other core courses. I felt like I was understanding all the information and would ask questions when I didn't. I took my first nursing exam yesterday (in Core Concepts and Skills) and I most definitely failed it. I knew the information, I really did.
The way the questions were asked really through me off. I study about 3 hours every day for nursing and went into overdrive about two weeks ago for this exam. I also studied N-CLEX questions to prepare me and meet with by professors at office hours. I don't really know what else to do, I would like to see if any of you could give me advice. I feel like I might have test anxiety, which is weird because I never have problems with taking tests.
I have a real complex with failure, especially after last year when I failed to get into nursing school. We have the policy that you have to get a 76% in the class to pass it and that we can only take one class over one time or we get the boot. I was told that this test was the easiest one, which really distresses me. I have a thought weighing heavily on my mind that I was never meant to be a nurse and that I made a mistake.
I felt like as I have been learning the information that this might not be the field for me, and failing an exam kind of establishes that fact for me. I really am determined to be a nurse, but I feel like all these signs are trying to tell me that it isn't meant to be. I came into my freshman year as a psychology major before I switched to nursing and feel like I should go back to that, but that is something I could have just done at the university that I was at. I'm just a little messed up right now and feel that I made the wrong choice in what I am doing. I hope that some of you guys kind of know where I am coming from and can give me some advice.
P.S. I'm real sorry how whinny this post is and its length. I am just panicking.