Dont you just HATE some of your classmates?

**RosesrReder, BSN, MSN, RN** · Nov 15, 2005

:yeahthat:
No, I don't hate any of my classmates and never have. Maybe this is an age thing. I am 50 too.
Lu Ann
ADN graduate THIS MONTH

Lu Ann congrats! :)

nurse2be2007 · Nov 15, 2005

I always remember the day a lady told me I would never make it into the program because I am a minority. She crushed my heart, but guess what? Life happened and I got in and she did not. I cannot say I "hate" anyone but do dislike some people. I will walk by them, kindly greet them and keep on truckin'. I avoid those type of ppl for my peace of mind. :)

I had one tell me that I wouldnt make a good nurse. Her perception of me was very twisted and judgmental. The sad thing is I tried my darnedest to befriend her because I always try to find the good in others even those that some may think their is no good to be found.

I agree with the "hate" word being a very strong word. I have taught my kids that from the beginning. It's ok to NOT like something or someone but never ever say you HATE.

To the OP. I empathize with your position in your class. They have obviously made you feel out of place intentionally or not. Is it possible that you are giving out vibrations to them that you are unapproachable or are you inadvertently sending negative signals to them thus their poor treatment of you. I am not saying that you asked for it or you are the cause for their behavior but what I am saying is this.....People just dont act out poorly toward another without a reason whether that reason is because of something your did to them or because of their own personal issues. A lot of times those people that seem to have bad attitudes or are trouble makers arent doing it to be mean, rather for attention.

I suggest trying to be overly nice to them, treat them as you would want them to treat you and I bet in a few weeks they will come around and probably be your best buds. Has happened to me more often than not. Good luck and remember things arent always what they appear to be.

:)

**RosesrReder, BSN, MSN, RN** · Nov 15, 2005

I had one tell me that I wouldnt make a good nurse. Her perception of me was very twisted and judgmental. The sad thing is I tried my darnedest to befriend her because I always try to find the good in others even those that some may think their is no good to be found.
I agree with the "hate" word being a very strong word. I have taught my kids that from the beginning. It's ok to NOT like something or someone but never ever say you HATE.
To the OP. I empathize with your position in your class. They have obviously made you feel out of place intentionally or not. Is it possible that you are giving out vibrations to them that you are unapproachable or are you inadvertently sending negative signals to them thus their poor treatment of you. I am not saying that you asked for it or you are the cause for their behavior but what I am saying is this.....People just dont act out poorly toward another without a reason whether that reason is because of something your did to them or because of their own personal issues. A lot of times those people that seem to have bad attitudes or are trouble makers arent doing it to be mean, rather for attention.
I suggest trying to be overly nice to them, treat them as you would want them to treat you and I bet in a few weeks they will come around and probably be your best buds. Has happened to me more often than not. Good luck and remember things arent always what they appear to be.
:)

Thanks for sharing. Hate is not good. Neither is resentment. I too think it's okay to dislike someone and avoid them. Best wishes to you. :balloons:

alexillytom · Nov 15, 2005

I don't hate any of my classmates either. Who has the energy to expend on such a useless emotion with all of the reading, clinicals, labs, tests, quizzes, process recordings, careplans and so on, that go along with nursing school. Sure, I'm not inviting everyone to Thanksgiving dinner with the family but I have found that my classmates have proven to be a wealth of information and very supportive. If I don't understand something someone is always willing to explain it and vice versa. I can't say that I love everyone but I have found something that I respect about each of my classmates. The way I figure it, we fought the good fight to get to this place, we might as well be each other's support system. But, that's just me. I have to put a positive spin on everything if I am going to be able to hack it.:)

S.N. Visit, BSN, RN · Nov 15, 2005

No, I haven't met a classmate that I haven't liked so far. (but I haven't met them all yet ) I'm too busy going to school for myself to pay any attention to what others are doing. I haven't much time to socialize. :)

crb613, BSN, RN · Nov 15, 2005

I know nursing school has cliques and stuff but in my class, I just hate some of these students. I know it is a competitive atmosphere and you dont trust anyone. Some of my classmates are very stuck up and think they are just better than everyone else. Some of my classmates are very hostile. Some of my classmates talk behind people's back. The list goes on in my class. I guess it is just a reflection of the working world where you dont like everyone. I think I should be glad that I have some friendly aquitances at least. I know that in school you are only there to learn and not make friends.

No I don't hate anyone in my class. There is one guy that kinda gets on people's nerves but I didn't hate him.:)

JR816, BSN, RN · Nov 15, 2005

I kinda understand where "hopefully" is coming from. There are always going to be the students who think they know everyone and that they are better than everyone else. The way I see it, the competition should cease once the program begins. HELLOOOO???? We did it. We all made it in the program!!!!!!!!!!!! I have formed some awesome friendships in the past 14 weeks. I look to my fellow students for support, guidance and sometimes a shoulder to cry on. I am sorry that you're classmates are acting so caddy. Basically, everyone is in the same boat. Let's hope we all swim instead of sinking.

vegnurse21 · Nov 15, 2005

No, typically I get along with everybody....but I'd venture to say that I wouldn't get along with you. I tend to have zero patience with instigators.
It doesn't surprise me in the least that you have problems with classmates.
As ever, jmho.

Now I really don't think that was fair. I don't think she is 'instigating' anything. I think the way that the post was worded made her come on a little more strongly than I'm sure she'd have liked, but I don't think she meant any harm. In regards to age, I think that younger people tend to do the backstabbing/talking behind each others backs more often so they tend to notice it more than the older ones do. It's wonderful that you get along with everyone, but not everyone is quite as socially graceful. It's pretty hurtful when you find out someone has been talking behind your back or doing something nasty for no reason. I've had classmates do it to me and I am nothing but nice to them. I'd have a bit of a problem with someone calling me an instigator when I did nothing to recieve bad treatment.

Nursing tends to be dominated by women and where women are, drama follows. It pretty much sucks, but it's the way that it goes. In these situations it's better just to let it roll off your back and be the bigger person. Coming here to rant about it is much better than going up to those people and telling them you HATE them. :chuckle: However, if it does become an issue you might want to ask them why they're behaving this way (if you haven't given them a reason to) and that it's really hurtful to you. But if you can see that their maturity level may not be up to that, I'd really just let it slide. You be the bigger person here...don't stoop to their level!

Tweety, BSN, RN · Nov 15, 2005

No, typically I get along with everybody....but I'd venture to say that I wouldn't get along with you. I tend to have zero patience with instigators.
It doesn't surprise me in the least that you have problems with classmates.
As ever, jmho.

I don't think of the op as an instigator. The op was merely making observations and responding to them.

I personally wouldn't respond that way, but to call this person an instigator doesn't make sense to me. :)

As ever, jmho

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Nov 15, 2005

Nursing tends to be dominated by women and where women are, drama follows. It pretty much sucks, but it's the way that it goes.

That's the way it goes if you feed into the negative stereotypes or generalizations.

Would you happen to have any clinical proof that where women are, drama follows?

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Nov 15, 2005

I don't think of the op as an instigator. The op was merely making observations and responding to them.
I personally wouldn't respond that way, but to call this person an instigator doesn't make sense to me. :)
As ever, jmho

After doing a search on past posts, i can definately see where someone might think it's instigating.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Nov 15, 2005

After doing a search on past posts, i can definately see where someone might think it's instigating.

I guess I'd better stay within the TOS and not talk about the person. This post taken on it own, didn't seem like instigating, but I see your point too.