Working five 12hr shifts a week - page 5

I know this is going to sound totally insane, but I am determined to be a stay-at-home mom. In order to do this my husband would have to work the standard 3 12 hr shifts and then pick up 2 PRN 12 hr... Read More

  1. by   Always Smiling
    Quote from RNSacht
    Very good advice, didnt realize hubby wasnt even working yet!!!!!!! Again this is great advice
    Honestly, after about 4 hours of a "real" shift in my healthccare facility, I feel like my feet are going to fall off and my head is swimming taking care of 10 patients. But, I can easily do an 8 hour student nursing shift with only 2 patients to take care of and I am not so fatigued afterward. It really is a different situation. Not trying to scare you, but speaking from experience, it's a reality. I am only a CNA for now-- registered nurses have just as much if not much MORE stress and responsibility than I do for now. It really is a job you need to be alert and focused for.
  2. by   Jay-Jay
    Quote from aggieamy5
    Please do not tell me I will be divorced. You do not know me or him nor do you know our values/beliefs on divorce. Like I said my husband is totally happy with this idea. No one is forcing or pressuring him to do anything. He is a grown man who can make his own decisions. I have thaked people for their advice several times and am considering ALL of it (both good and bad). I just do not like to be called names or harshly criticized - plain and simple. Most everyone has been very nice and helpful, with the exception a couple of exceptions. I never dreamed that some would be so rude.
    I fully agree, Aggie. The rudeness of some of the posters in this thread is uncalled for, and calling someone 'selfish' could be considered a personal attack. I'd like to see a little more politeness and professionalism in this thread to keep it from deteriorating further.

    Aggie, if there are any further personal attacks, feel free to use the reported post button, the red and white triangle at the right hand side of the post.
  3. by   Tweety
    Sounds to me like your mind is already made up. Your husband is going to work 5 12-hour shifts, he's fine with it, you're fine with it, you've gotten feedback that it isn't going to be easy, but you already knew that too.

    Don't let a few people discourage you with how they present their opinion. Take it with a grain of salt and move on. Some people aren't going to validate your decisions, and you have to accept that, because you asked. There just might not be an easy way for them to say it, but rudeness shouldn't be the case. As Jay-Jay stated above, if you feel personally attacked, let us know.
    Last edit by Tweety on Nov 13, '06
  4. by   medsurgnights
    To the OP, sorry about some of the rudeness that has been directed toward you here, some of the posts have been quite nasty, but others have had good points.

    Anyway-I am in a similar situation in reverse. I am a new nurse, in my old job, I often put in 60+ hour work weeks and was just fine. In my new profession, after 3 or 4 nights, I NEED 3 nights off just to feel human. On night shift, 2 nights off feels like 1 day off because you lose so much time catching up sleep. Other night shifters may agree with me.

    My husband wants to work towards an MBA and have me work agency as well as my full time when I have enough experience to do that (many managers will not LET new nurses work overtime for fear of burnout). This is frightening, I've worked 60 hour days before, I don't know if I can do that much on nocs, in nursing school I wouldn't have doubted it.

    I have asked my husband to save as much money as possible before we do this. He is also putting in a few paid hours a week helping a friend with his own business- this is not his field but he is good at the work. I am saving too. We have some time before he goes back to school or we have children and hopefully we can have some fallback funds if the schedule is too much.

    If you have some time before the family, maybe it will be useful to work extra and save for both of you.
  5. by   emrrn915
    It can be done but is not without a price. I worked 12 hour night shifts 5 nights a week for 9 months and while I was tired and dead on my feet most of the time I thought things went okay. The price I paid was this.. I have no recollection of my son being 3 years old at all. Was I there? Yes. Did I realize it at the time? No. As I said looking back I truly have very little and foggy memories of that year of his life and I know it is because not only did I work too many hours a week but I worked those hours at night.. I am sure I was a decent mom and he had his dad but I still feel guilty that I wasn't really present even though I was physically there. 12 hour shifts are killer and 12 hour night shifts are worse.. even though I did not realize it at the time, I realize it now... something to consider.

    It is going to be very mentally draining on a new nurse to work those kind of hours since really nothing will be coming "natural" ...Seasoned nurses at least have gut instinct , experience and rote tasks down so that the brain does not have to work so hard with every little thing.. your husband is not going to have that luxury and he is going to be not only physically tired but mentally tired as well. Having 3-4 patients in clinicals versus 8- however many patients on a night shift are two different animals...

    I admire the wanting to stay home and wish you luck...
  6. by   sister--*
    When my kids were little I worked the opposite shift from my husband's. The kids were rarely if ever in daycare. We were a team. With the kids we were a family. Once the kids were in school I worked their school hrs.

    As a matter-of-fact, my kids were actually surprised to discover as they got older that I actually had always worked outside the home.

    It is possible to both work and care for/raise the kids. You just have to really want to be a team....really want to be a family.

    Good luck to you. I know from the outside looking in your plan seems great! Once experienced from the inside looking out it seems like a nightmare!

    And about the farmer. Sorry, I just don't see the similarities. The Farmer decides his time, he has ultimate autonomy. He can decide when to use the bathroom, when to eat, when to rest, and when to call it a day.

    On the other hand, the Nurse is assigned his time and his "seasons" are only 12 hrs. long with absolutely no guarantees of a break, a cup of coffee, a bite to eat, or a friendly chat with other Nurses.

    Good luck to you as you go forward.
  7. by   subee
    Quote from emrrn915
    It can be done but is not without a price. I worked 12 hour night shifts 5 nights a week for 9 months and while I was tired and dead on my feet most of the time I thought things went okay. The price I paid was this.. I have no recollection of my son being 3 years old at all. Was I there? Yes. Did I realize it at the time? No. As I said looking back I truly have very little and foggy memories of that year of his life and I know it is because not only did I work too many hours a week but I worked those hours at night.. I am sure I was a decent mom and he had his dad but I still feel guilty that I wasn't really present even though I was physically there. 12 hour shifts are killer and 12 hour night shifts are worse.. even though I did not realize it at the time, I realize it now... something to consider.

    It is going to be very mentally draining on a new nurse to work those kind of hours since really nothing will be coming "natural" ...Seasoned nurses at least have gut instinct , experience and rote tasks down so that the brain does not have to work so hard with every little thing.. your husband is not going to have that luxury and he is going to be not only physically tired but mentally tired as well. Having 3-4 patients in clinicals versus 8- however many patients on a night shift are two different animals...

    I admire the wanting to stay home and wish you luck...


    Thinking you can work 5 12's in my book is "stinking thinking" (now I mean five NIGHT shifts NURSING). Its a symptom a lot of people in NA exhibit. You're probably very young so you haven't seen chemically dependent nurses, divorce or death very much but its all intertwined with making decisions which are physically and emotionally dangerous for oneself. Learn to live with a little less and don't allow yourself to become so de-skilled that you couldn't help your family out of a slump if you husband should become disabled.
  8. by   PANurseRN1
    Quote from aggieamy5
    I am not a nurse so, no, I can't work PRN shifts. Plus, for the field I'm in there really aren't too many part-time jobs out there so that's not an option. We are VERY good with our finances and I know all about downsizing, cutting back, etc. to make things work. I wasn't born yesterday. I just wanted some feedback on if anyone had ever done this and if it worked. From my experience, it seems like men can more easily handle working more hours than women. Like I said earlier, I know tons of husbands that work more than this in the corporate world and at chemical plants. My husband would also be getting the exact same number of hours of sleep that he does now. We plan to try this whole scenerio out for a couple of years before we try to start having kids. If it doesn't work then, of course, we will ditch the plan. I do appreciate the feedback, though.
    It sounds like you already made your decision before you posted the question. Why did you bother to ask if you were going to do this anyway? It's very frustrating when people ask for advice when they jolly well have no intention of giving it any thought.
  9. by   PANurseRN1
    Quote from stevielynn
    Hon, I think this may just be some people wanting to stir the old stay-at-home mom vs. working mom controversy because some of the responses certainly don't have any relation to the way you have conducted yourself on this thread. You have been very thankful and polite and in your very first post wondered if this was doable. That doesn't sound like someone who wants to treat her husband like crap.

    You are doing the right thing in investigating this and your husband sounds wonderful.

    steph
    Oh please...SAHMs are persecuted only in their own minds. I couldn't care less if a woman works full-time and has kids, works part-time and has kids or is a SAHM.

    Comparing one job to another doesn't quite work. Just because one job may suit a 12h day 5 days a week doesn't mean another will. Would you like to get on a plane and find out midflight that the pilot is on his 5th day in a row of a 12h shift?

    Even if her husb. wants to do it now, he should definitely have an "out clause" so if it turns out he is not able to maintain that schedule he isn't in a position where he has to because now there are kids at home.
    Last edit by PANurseRN1 on Nov 13, '06
  10. by   PANurseRN1
    It is also possible to have normal, healthy kids who went to (HORRORS!) day care.
  11. by   PANurseRN1
    Quote from Always Smiling
    Just noticed from another thread, AggieAmy, that your husband isn't yet finished with nursing school and won't be till next May. I would definitely recommend to him to try out floor/staff nursing for awhile first before making this decision to work 5 12-hr's each week. I too am in school and it's a WHOLE different world when you're actually on the floor with your license than when you're student nursing. I work in healthcare and it's very different from my "student life" which is much easier.
    This will teach me to reply to a thread before I've read every response. Your husband hasn't finished nsg. school? He has no clue what a 12/5 schedule is like. Zero clue.

    I'm not even sure he would be hired for those hours as a new grad. Heck, not even with exp. He'd get into major OT, which in most places is a huge no no.

    Seriously, he needs to get his bearings as a real nurse before you two even remotely consider this very ill-advised notion.
  12. by   aggieamy5
    Quote from subee
    Thinking you can work 5 12's in my book is "stinking thinking" (now I mean five NIGHT shifts NURSING). Its a symptom a lot of people in NA exhibit. You're probably very young so you haven't seen chemically dependent nurses, divorce or death very much but its all intertwined with making decisions which are physically and emotionally dangerous for oneself. Learn to live with a little less and don't allow yourself to become so de-skilled that you couldn't help your family out of a slump if you husband should become disabled.
    Although I am actually pretty young, I have seen all kinds of things in my line of work and graduate training in psychotherpy and am aware of the interconnectedness of these things you have mentioned. Some have made the point of what would I do if my husband became disabled or died. This could happen to any stay at home mom. That's what a good life insurance policy is for. Plus, I consider myself equipped and educated enough to find employment is that so happened. It really seems that this has turned into a stay-at-home mom vs. working mom arguement and that was not my intention. I know I started this topic, and I'm pretty sorry I did. People have been so rude and have made me feel rather bad (even though I shouldn't let strangers get to me). I think I have well over enough input and opinions now. Thank you.
  13. by   PMFB-RN
    Quote from aggieamy5
    Please do not tell me I will be divorced. You do not know me or him nor do you know our values/beliefs on divorce. Like I said my husband is totally happy with this idea. No one is forcing or pressuring him to do anything. He is a grown man who can make his own decisions. I have thaked people for their advice several times and am considering ALL of it (both good and bad). I just do not like to be called names or harshly criticized - plain and simple. Most everyone has been very nice and helpful, with the exception a couple of exceptions. I never dreamed that some would be so rude.
    *** I do not believe that the work schedual you propose will have anything to do with getting a divorce or not. When I was a medic in the army infantry I was often deployed overseas for months at a time and we have a great, stable marriage (I am 35 years old and have been married for 14 years).
    My wife is a social worker. When our son was born she went back to work. I worked NOCs and she worked days. Instead of sleeping during the day I took care of our son and farmed. I was beat! When our daughter was born two years later we (as in it was a joint decision) wanted to raise our own children rather than use daycare. We looked at what it would take to make that happen and decided that my working 60 hours was the best for us.
    I should also point out that I get great support from my wife. I used to do about 40% of house work, now I do very little. Usually I take the kids to breakfast on my days off (ages 4 & 2) and let her sleep in (I can never sleep past 0500 no matter what). She wants to go back to work when the kids go to school. She is very happy being a stay at home mom and is greatful for all the hours I work and shows it (hint, hint, wink, wink
    We discussed her going back to work and me being a stay at home dad, but social workers make quite a bit less than RNs in this area and she would have had to work over 80 hours a week to make what I make in 60.
    Don't let anyone tell you what will and will not work for your family. Your husband is a grown man and can make his own decisions. If it doesn't work you can do something else.
    Most of the female nurses I work with tell me that they would have loved to have stayed home when their kids were little.
    One other thing. I work with GREAT team of people at my hospital. I admit it would be hard if I had to deal with jerks at work.
    I will say this again, I do not find working 5 12s a challenge, in fact once or twice a month I work a 16 hour shift. I do not find this to be difficult, though on those days I miss the 2 or 3 hours I usually get with the kids

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